Friday, November 16, 2012

The Playboy's Realization From the Other Side of the Romance Horizon

Some years ago I published an article about what happens to a man who goes overseas to look for ultimate sexual fulfillment with numerous partners. The conclusion was that as Evita Peron said- “they are illusions, they are not the solutions they promised to be”. Boredom sets in, libido goes and sex without love becomes an act of austerity. Now, what happens after one goes and looks for endless romances with multiple partners? Having done that, here is what I have to say: You will end up even more frustrated and unfulfilled than if you went for physical satisfaction alone. First of all, if you want to maintain multiple relationships, the parties involved have to be fully aware of it and giving you all their consent. Because doing it secretly does not work- women pick up on many signs sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously because they can “smell” other women on you. This results in ugly fights, heartaches, pain and guilt and messy break-ups. Either that or karma hits you and you find out that they have also been doing the same to you. It is not without reason that a proverb like “All is well that ends well“exists. Because the reverse is also true- what ends badly has been bad all along no matter how it started, how long it lasted and how much you enjoyed it. A relationship that ended in a painful farewell will not create happy memories no matter how much good time you had had together and for how long. Anything whose sum total is zero was zero to begin with. All memories associated with it become too agonizing to recall for years or even decades to come. If you want to create happy memories and some value for yourself, either you maintain very close friendships with females with no romantic promises, or you find people who do not mind being polyamorous, but in that case, you have to accept their polyamoury as well and their partners have to accept you. It is a can of worms either way you try to do it, and pain results somewhere down the road. You can only try to minimize it while increasing pleasure but you can never get rid of it. We always tend to underestimate just how much we can get hurt and how much we can hurt others. The other way to do it is possibly by being rich and by following something similar to Islamic tenets of having multiple women although it is not legal to marry them, unless you are a citizen of a Muslim country. And if you will want to later “refresh” your “collection” with younger blood, you will again cause heartache to other people as well as have to spend a lot of money on getting new partners and getting rid of old ones. If you really want polyamoury, it has to be in the open more or less and you have to harden your heart and well as teach your partners to harden their hearts. Not an easy proposition at all. Everything else ends up costing you a great deal of lost time – sometimes, as much as a decade can become nothing but one long painful memory. Conclusion- monogamy has its definite advantages after all, and should be pursued provided you find a really suitable person for yourself. Otherwise, it is better to be “comfortably numb” as Pink Floyd once said

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