“Do not look for love, but let love find you. When you look hard for it, it will not appear, but when you stop, and least expect it, it will, like a gentle butterfly, land upon your shoulder!”
Whoever came up with this saying is insane! Most if not all of us are here on earth as a result of arranged marriages which were practiced for uncountable generations. And in the majority of the world they still are arranged. Somehow people do not leave things to the capricious chance. Actually most people, of following this advice will find that if they expect love to happen, it will not, and if they don’t expect it to happen, it won’t again.
In some societies, people of a certain age, looks, race etc can meet others easily, but in many societies they cannot approach people just like that because of social, racial/ethnic, religious and even legal restrictions. And most certainly, they can’t just sit and wait. Cause nothing will come. As in zilch, nada, not one darn thing, not one person.
For those people who cannot attract the opposite sex because of the factors above, whether they are expecting or not to find it, proactive pursuit is the recommended course of action. People now, for one, can openly advertise online and these people are not losers, they are winners because they no longer believe in the mercy of some fickle fate. People who travel to other countries to find markets for themselves are also courageous winners. But those who believe in the nonsense saying initially quoted are sorely misled.
In the so called liberated Western societies, women can easily find partners, but not guys because guys can be charged with verbal assault, sexual harassment and other such things if they court a girl. In the college period, things happen a bit easier but again, only for those who are most attractive. For many people, if they are not in the right clique and not the right age/race, looks, the waiting or non waiting for the butterfly to land on their shoulder is cruel mockery and a false religious teaching. I say- do not buy into that philosophy. Actively pursue love and do so globally!
With the advent of online dating and cheap international travel, you now must add the countries in the world where people like you are in demand and where many persons of the opposite sex are interested in you. For Western guys it is SE Asia, E. Europe and S. America. For Western women, it is the Mediterranean and Africa/the Caribbean.
Looking for love is like looking for a job. You go to where jobs are and where they pay well. If there are not that many jobs in your area, you go somewhere else. I will give you this example. I was looking for a well paying job in California. I applied in many places, filled out resumes, etc, but got very little response and what I got was of low quality. I then contacted Middle East employers and, very quickly, offers with tickets, paid housing and great salaries came my way.
I approached American women but the ones who were even moderately attractive hissed back at me like a cobra that had been disturbed from its sleep. I felt I was intruding. I then decided to not pursue anything and not to expect. But no butterflies landed on my shoulder. Then I could not take it anymore and I went to SE Asia and I was now in demand. So, Hollywood dream, I am gonna have to tell you to buzz off and not to come back again cause I am building my own dream based on what my eyes see and what my brain is figuring out! I date globally, I am proactive and I wait for no handouts from your false fate god.
So, just buzz off!
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