Friday, January 01, 2010

Love Me? Love my Culture ( and my Country) Warts and All!

What many guys do not understand when they go and woo girls from another ethnic, cultural and national background is that they may now be forever tied to that girl's culture and country. It used to be the case in the old days when America was so powerful and other countries weak and backward, that for many people going back home was a logistical impossibility as well as a political and economic impossibility. They had no money, the other countries were dictatorial and would, sometimes, arrest them upon their return there, and America was so advanced in comparison that the wives of American guys would have no choice but become Americanized. They would take roots and just live out their lives in the US becoming first generation Americans ( or first generation immigrants as they would more often be called). Guess what? Surprise, surprise! This is no longer the case. The Internet with instant messaging and inexpensive phone calls as well very quick and affordable international travel will no longer have your wife isolated from her home culture. She will want to go back home often and for you to follow. She will also probably expect you to learn the local food and for you to visit her family often. Her country is no longer the "Ol' Country" whose backwardness she left behind to resettle in the prosperous America, but is now a New Country- a modern, technologically advanced nation with most conveniences you have for modern life Yup! -surprise, surprise!-also, her country now is not such a bad place to live. Actually, often it is cheaper and freeer than the US! So, the days of swaggering GIs bringing back home humbled war brides are mostly over! If you think that by finding a foreign girl, you will be getting a better version of an American girl who will abandon everything back home and just live with you an all American life, you may have fewer such girls to choose from. In most cases, you will now, for the rest of your marriage to her be connected to that country, culture, language and food and will have to put up with the good and the bad thereof. So, before you embark on a journey to find, say a Lithuanian girl, ask yourself- do you think you will like Lithuania? Will you like its language and food? Will you be willing to accept its shortcomings? Will you like the Lithuanian way of life? Because, by connecting your life to the lady, her country, family and culture will now become part of your life as well. For better or for worse. Ask yourself an even better question- will you be willing to resettle in the girl's country if she wants you to do that and abandon America the way you want her to abandon the place where she had grown up? You'd better be ready! This is something few guys think about when they drool over a luscious body and a cute face of a foreign girl.


Anonymous said...

"Love Me? Love my Culture ( and my Country) Warts and All!"

The same could be said for the woman viewing the values of her new bf/husband.

Why should the American Man defer to the culture of his wife, but she does not defer to his culture?

Anonymous said...

Well it goes without saying that she should. Is she living in your country? Is she speaking English now and eating American food? The fact that she has married you and is now living in the US already means something does not it?