Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Love Tub

The Love Tub
“I want you to buy me a love tub,”- one girl whom I had been courting told me with a sly smile as we were riding a taxi down the streets of Manila.
“ A love tub”? “ I did not know you were that romantic and into such lurid things”. We were never intimate, so a request like that came as a surprise.
“Anything for you, girl, but I am kind of surprised. How do you think you will make use of it? Why would you need it? I mean, it’s kind of early, you know. Plus if it comes to such things we can always use one at some hotel”.
“No, I want my own. So we can communicate better”.
“You mean, a love tub would help us communicate better? Ok, I guess, it will make us feel closer in a way”. “Kind of kinky for a nice girl like you”- I thought to myself,” But hey, you seem to be getting bolder and bolder”. “So, do you know of a store that sells those?” I asked her.
“Yes, I know of several stores. They sell some really good love tubs. Some are made by Toshiba, some are made by American companies. Real good technology!”
“Toshiba makes love tubs now, too? I did not know that. Must be really high tech. What are those love tubs equipped with? LCDs? All kinds of consoles, I imagine”.
“Yeah, they even have screens. You can even watch a movie. And do all sorts of things”.
“Man, the technology they have got nowadays!” I began to wonder what kind of movies we could watch together. I tried to visualize us in this hi-tech Japanese jacuzzi with a mounted screen showing x-rated flicks as we were kissing and touching and all. Water bubbling all over. My imagination was now truly going wild. I think the girl is ready!
“Ok, so how much are they? Give me a ball park figure”.
“Oh, between 25,000 to 30,000 pesos. Not much. Actually, we can go to the store now, and I will show you the one that I like”.
The taxi stopped near a large department store, and the girl took me by the hand looking all anxious and excited about her upcoming purchase. Believe me, I was looking forward to it, too. And to the things we would be doing in that love tub. Man, she was hot, and if that what it took to get it on with her, well, so be it!
“Ok, where is the store”? “It is on the second floor. Come , I will show you”. She lead me inside a small store that, strangely, looked nothing like a store selling bathtubs, jacuzzis and things like that. It was…what? A computer store? Why would she take me here? To buy accessories for the hi-tech bubbling love bath?
She finally pointed to something that made my heart sink with shock and disappointment. Man, when would Filipinos learn to pronounce English correctly? She was pointing to a laptop computer. “I want this love tub. The Toshiba love tub”.
She meant a laptop!

1 comment:

James O. said...

Hilarious!

Thoroughly enjoy your posts.