Saturday, March 14, 2009

How Can They Tell?

If you are in South East Asia as a tourist, and happen to pick up a bar girl and take her out on a date, you will quite often get smirks and, sometimes, looks of disgust from the locals. If the girl is not a bar girl, the scornful looks and haughty stares will be only 10% of what it would be if you were with a lady of the night. Even if the bar girl does not engage in prostitution, the locals will immediately identify her as one by many things unseen to you. They seem to have a knack for telling who is a bar girl and who is not. The look in the eyes, the body movements; the dress, the make up, even the change in the complexion are very obvious.

Plus, there is a certain something, an aura of sorts that they can pick up on right away, and it is a thing that I still cannot explain. What they can see is what a normal Westerner cannot. Not only that- many a South East Asian man can tell if a girl is a virgin or not through some sixth sense, and they say that one can see virginity or lack thereof if one looks into the pupils of the eyes. Plus, the way a woman behaves towards a man, any man is a dead give away even if she tries to act in a demure way. There is a body language that we may not be aware of, and even a certain smell. Some girls, who have been intimate with a man, may still “exude” male pheromones and reek of male sweat no matter how many showers they have taken. The smell is very find but with a sharp nose local guys can smell it.

After having lived in that part of the world and having met quite a few females, you, too, will be able to develop the sense for that sort of thing. In my case, by now I can be some 95% accurate in telling if a girl is a bar girl or not and some 80% accurate in telling if she is a virgin. It is a combination of many minute telltale signs that I still cannot put a finger on.

Once I persuaded a very decent girl who was working in a bar to quit and return to school. She needed only a small amount of money- some $50, to be able to attend school. I set a date to meet her in a department store, and immediately noticed the spiteful and disgusted looks of the people around us. There was something they could feel, sense, see or smell about her that told them she had come from a bar. Later, when we met after some time, a couple of months, to be exact, and she had been out of the bar, the bad aura had now seemed to be gone; she was walking “normal” and talking “normal” and dressed OK, and no one was even giving us a second look. I guess, just as the girls accumulate that bad “halo” over their heads, so they can lose it and have a good aura hang over them again when they get back into society and stay among regular people again for some time.

The longer they had been in the bar, the longer it takes to get rid of the negative ‘image-over’, and get back to their old pre-bar selves. A truly interesting socio-psychological phenomenon that is worth being studied further.

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