Saturday, December 29, 2007

Loving Her in Her Language

Doesn’t it sound cute and feminine when you have an English speaking man falling in love with a Japanese or a Russian girl and speaking in English to her, and her answering him in faltering English?

All the verbal expressions of love between the two people are in English. The dating terminology, the marriage proposal and the bedroom expressions are also in English.
Eventually, he sponsors her for the visa and she comes to live with him in his country, forgets her language and the kids grow up fully American (or whatever).

There is a trend that I hear more and more about, which is that of a man learning the language of the woman and courting her in it, expressing love in it and fully developing the relationship in it. Yes, red blooded Americans and other nationals speaking words of love in Chinese, Japanese, Russian, French and Tagalog. In most cases, the experience is beyond one’s wildest dreams.
For one, by speaking the local language, particularly if one is skillful in its romantic applications, one opens up enormous markets of available females who are not English-speaking. In many so called developing countries there are great many ladies who are quite elegant and amorous but who are not English speaking and do not want to be. They are also more traditional than those who can speak English. There are countries where females can be well-versed in various poetic arts but who are clumsy when it comes to expressing themselves in English. It often stilts the development of love on the lady’s part.

If you can speak her language, though, it changes things tremendously. In most cases, opportunities multiply a thousand-fold if not more than that.

A Western man who speaks Chinese, Tagalog, Spanish or Russian is often seen as extremely sexy by the local women because of the accent and the innocent “green-horn” quality that he exhibits. He is new in the country, he is struggling, the woman my feel like this is her chance to appear helpful and protective and serve as the guide to the man. She also does not appear to be naïve and clumsy in her own country, something that she often would feel if she were to speak English to you.

Some native English speakers still like to imagine they live in the imperial times and are running the place although times have come to discard this attitude. Many do not, though. And it is their choice, again. I do recommend that you learn the local language.

Do not make the mistake, however, of thinking that you can be poor and speak the language and still score easily. Very few women like poor foreigners even if these speak local languages. It is far easier for a guy who does not speak the local language but who has money/position to score than a dorky overseas indigent with a gift of gab. However, a guy with money who speaks the language to boot wins almost every time.

There are exceptions to the rule in some cases. Most of those happen in Japan (and , apparently, China and Korea). Many Japanese women want to meet a “gaijin” so that they could practice their English and learn about foreign cultures. They want to meet someone who would treat them better than an average Japanese, and be different from one. In many cases it would upset them if you could speak Japanese (which is very often better than their English) and knew their culture better than they knew yours and behave like a Japanese would. They will probably declare you to be setteru, meaning something like “ boring” or “square”.

However, when all is said and done, by and large, you will still have far greater opportunities to find love and develop it to unprecedented levels if you could speak the lady’s language and loved her in it. You will also discover that while English is logical, Spanish, Russian and French seem to have a much richer vocabulary when it comes to expressing intimate human feelings.
No ne of this will make you exempt from having to teach the lady English if she is to ever go to your country to live and work, though. Love is love, but English is imperative for business.

Maybe you can become a happy bilingual family, one of the few, apparently.

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