truthfulinsights

Indonesia vs. the Philippines

2011-09-01T13:28:00.001-07:00

I just spent 10 days in Jakarta and here is what I have to say in the way of comparing it to the Philippines:
The good things about Indonesia vs. RP
All the infrastructure is much newer. The downtown Jakarta is a modern, Dubai- like super city. The hotels and the malls are 22nd century caliber. The roads are new and wide and there are wide spaces everywhere. It is not as crowded as Manila. The air is much cleaner and fresher because Jakarta is so green, as well.
The people are classy and they dress well. The girls are not ashamed to put on latest fashions and parade around. They do not play down their beauty and do not humble themselves or self-efface.
The starkest difference is in the way they treat foreigners:
1) They speak to foreigners of all colors in Bahasa- the Malay language of Malaysia, Brunei and Indonesia. Their logic seems to be very simple , and it makes sense to me- if you are here, you are a foreigner and we are in our own country. It is your responsibility to adjust yourself to us, not the other way around. Of course, in big companies, big hotels and at the airport, people address tourists in English but those that live there or just associate with local people on a daily basis must speak the language or you will not be able to function normally. That’s just the way it is. A Filipino, otoh, will almost never speak to a foreigner in Filipino even though a foreigner is in the Filipino’s country.

2) Foreigners of all colors and nationalities are usually treated as equals in Indonesia. Something that average Filipinos have a problem with. Most Filipinos try and accommodate foreigners, allow them to live in their country without the foreigners learning the language or the culture and feel perfectly OK if foreigners do not try to integrate. Worship of foreign cultures is widespread in the Philippines. The Spanish caste structure, although formally abolished is still very much ingrained, with Spanish –looking people being deemed as “gwapo” and brown Malay looking people often thought of as “not gwapo”. In Indonesia, this does not seem to be happening. An average Indonesia does not feel either proud of what he is or ashamed. This must be because of Islam. Many people in the West malign the Islamic civilization but it has many good things- among many things it teaches that:

a) There is no difference between a black man and a white man( and that transfers into “no difference between a brown and a white man”)
b) There is no difference between and Arab and a non Arab. Again, that transfers into “ no difference between different races and/or cultures.

The people feel very comfortable about their culture and do not think that movies and songs in Bahasa are “corny”. They are neither proud nor ashamed but simply live out their culture in a natural and tranquil way.
The Indonesian type Islam is of a mild variety. During the Ramadan, non Muslims can eat and drink in public and that does not evoke negative reactions or cause arrests as in Saudi or Kuwait.
Now, the advantages of the Philippines:
1) Visas. While the people in Indonesia are OK with foreigners, staying long term in Indonesia is problematic. Stiff penalties are there for visa violators. Just try and google Indonesian Visa and you will see the mind boggling list of requirements that are seemingly designed to keep foreigners away and to discourage that they stay there too long. And even those that have money still face huge bureaucratic hurdles and seemingly impossible to fulfill requirement. In contrast, the Philippine immigration is very friendly and much more welcoming, and it encourages foreign investment, retirement and tourism.
Marriage of a foreign man to an Indonesian woman does not afford any privileges to the man visa or employment-wise. The woman cannot sponsor the man to be a citizen or a permanent resident of any kind. If you are an average foreign guy, you will not have any special rights just because you married an Indonesian lady. Not only that, in Indonesia, there are no marriages between people of different religions that are allowed.
In contrast, a foreigner who marries a Filipina/o, can apply to stay in the country forever and can also qualify for a one year balikbayan visa ad infinitum, provided once a year he leaves the country with his/her spouse and comes back with him/ her. All kinds of permanent and semi- permanent visas are available in RP and it is not hard to qualify. Tourist visas and extensions are easy to get. Most Filipinos feel that foreigners in their country (provided they behave) are an asset, and are a matter of pride and benefit. And if one wants to marry a Filipina/o, there is no law that one needs to be a Catholic. People of all religions can marry and mingle socially with ease.
These are some notes that I have jotted down.

A Tropical Finger as a Bad Prop for Love

2011-07-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

A bizarre lesson is to be learned if you have a tropical lover in say India or Thailand, and want to initiate her into the realm of oral pleasures - do not use her fingers as props. You may get the taste of human feces into your mouth.

How so? Very simple- in many places they traditionally use fingers for bathroom hygiene- in other words, they pour water down the small of their back into the crack in between the buttocks, then wash the sphyncter clean. This is very good for the rear orifice but if they do not wash their hands well afterwards, you have to be careful.

Lets say, you are teaching your girlfriend to stimulate you orally. So, it occurs to you that a finger is phallic in shape so you take her finger into your mouth and start showing her how you want her to do it. Suddenly a horrible taste spreads all over your oral cavity - my God it tastes and smells like excretions- it shows you that while the girl kept her behind squeaky clean, the same cannot be said about her fingers. So, while you introduced her to the intricacy of fellatio, she taught you scatology. Inadvertently so.
Better keep a carrot, a cucumber or a massager handy.
Or use her thumb. But not other fingers.
Just a word to the wise.

Drinking 6-8 glasses a day?

2011-07-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

I always read all this medical advice that we need to drink so much water per day. Now I have read somewhere we need even more that 8 glasses. Now what about peeing? Or is the water supposed to just evaporate?

This is insane! With that much water people will be running to the bathroom every so often which will make living a pain. In the office, it will interrupt work and meetings, when in a car, people will have to be pulling off freeways and looking for bathrooms and if they are stuck in the traffic somewhere, they will be peeing in their pants. Or are we supposed to be carrying some portable toilet with us?

Now, what about those who like walking for exercise? Again, we will have to be stopping every so often and looking for toilets. What if there is no toilet around? Are we supposed to be peeing against the wall somewhere and risk getting arrested?

Buzz off, you and your water!

Energy Fields

2011-01-26T03:15:00.000-08:00

I have noticed an interesting thing. Young women who become prostitutes become jaded over time in a very strange way: it is as if every customer, every man whom they did not love took a piece of her soul, of some energy field. If one meets these ladies again after some time, one can almost guess the number of customers she has been with. It is as if each one leaves some kind of shadow in the back of her eyes. Her aura is dirty.

If one has sharp olfactory organs, one can even smell all these men on her no matter how many times she washes. The sweat gets deep into her pores. Maybe other females cannot smell male sweat on her but I can. Usually the sweat of the opposite sex is not as unpleasant as that of the same sex.

If a woman is married or cohabiting with a steady boyfriend, then her energy just becomes opaque, but it is still strong and evenly distributed.

A virgin, on the other hand seems to be emanating a pure energy fields out of her body. It has not been punctured or sallied in any way. With practice and experience you will be able to distinguish a virgin lady from a prostitute from a lady who is living with a man. Even a lady who has had one sexual experience sends out a signal that is different from that of a virgin. Like a cracked lamp. You will be able to tell those categories of people apart if you hang around such women long enough.

Men, on the other hand, at least from my angle of view, do not seem to become jaded from too many encounters but their aura, on the contrary, becomes purer and brighter. If these are middle aged men who prefer the company of younger females whether prostitutes or actual lovers seem to stay young. If is as if they steal energy from them and replenish their aura by doing so.

Married men, on the other hand look kind of tired and burdened with problems and their aura looks kind of dim. Maybe in marriage the partners exchange auras in a different way?

Shall one assume that the elixir of youth for older guys is constantly being in the company of younger women and stealing their energy in the above way?

Something to think about!

Proper Toilet Hygiene

2011-01-21T08:38:00.000-08:00

How come we have invented so many things and put people on the Moon but we still have not come up with a good way to keep our behinds clean? This is not a pleasant topic but I like to tell the truth and I am not happy with toilet paper. In Middle Eastern countries every toilet bowl has a water hose with something that looks like a small showerhead and a little lever to turn the water on. So, after you do your number 2 and get rid of the fecal matter in your body, you simply use it to basically shower the rear orifice of your body clean. This is so wise and hygienic and makes so much sense. And in many many nations around the world, even those that are non Arab, people use water to clean themselves.
My Arab acquaintances have often asked me- "How can Western people not use water? Their behinds must smell". And they are right. No matter how well you wipe yourself, you are bound to have some small dingleberries hanging and they will leave nasty streaks on your underwear plus create unpleasant smells especially when we sweat. It is downright disgusting! And you know what else is disgusting? Having to wipe your anus with toilet paper and then look at the results of the wiping. It takes three times until the paper is moderately clean, but even then there is always a brown trail on it, no matter how pale. Yech!
And think about this: what if you are in bed with someone you love and your behind exudes a deadly odor of fermented feces mixed with sweat. Hold me as I vomit! Yeah, I hear you, take a shower first, but sometimes you just want a little play before the shower. Think about it! And then when some people take a shower, they do not thoroughly wash their behind. Still there is smell. Sooner or later it will hit someone's nostrils and then no aphrodisiac will help. And love will fly out the window along with the smell.
I am so used to these sprinklers now that I try and create an approximation of toilet water-cleaning when I am in other countries that use toilet paper. Do not laugh please, but I flush the toilet twice first, clean it with a toilet brush if necessary and then use the clean water to wash my rear end with. And, yes, I dipmy hand in the toilet bowl.Then I flush it again and then wash my hands thoroughly with soap. Now I know that all my body is clean and no waste is stuck to any part of it. This technique is also helpful when you travel in remote places where there is no toilet paper, Japanese squat toilets or holes in Eastern Europe are not conducive to obtaining water. So be inventive and try and get some water before you go. Carry a small bottle or something.

How Americans Treat Each Other Abroad- an Observation

2011-01-21T08:31:00.001-08:00

A lot has been said about the behavior of Americans abroad, but few things have been said about how Americans treat each other when abroad. Well, here are my observations:

Among the Americans abroad I have met three types who are divided into these % categories. One tenth are very helpful and nice, they provide you guidance and advice although not always right or helpful. I would say that out of that, only 1% will lead to any actual positive result. Often well meaning, they nonetheless either cannot control the outcome of their help or are simply clueless.

About 60% are completely indifferent, do not offer help, do not know much and are just busy solving their problems and leading their own lives the best they can. They also do not ask for any help from you. And most will not render any help if you ask them.

About 20% are braggarts and tell you how successful they are and how much the locals adore them, how beautiful their girlfriends are, and how great their lives are and how well they speak the local language ( most do not). These are the "I am all right, Jack" type.

About 10% are icy, sarcastic, cynical assholes who will use you in a dog-eat-dog fashion, will humiliate you and try to destroy you. You are competition to them and are infringing on what they deem as their rightfully conquered territory. They will ask to borrow money and disappear, and when time comes to collect, they will be the ones getting angry at YOU for bugging them! The nerve! If you work with them, they will talk behind your back and try and make you look stupid and even get you fired to ingratiate themselves with the locals. If you open a business, they will try to cut you down or even pay someone to have you killed- yes, siree!

In case of women, some are nice, but many are not. But among them, some will also be able to offer help and give you clues as to where to succeed and how to solve your problems. Many women will either have an inferiority complex and be jealous of you winning local women or have a superiority complex and showing off their successes with local men. Often they gang up with other women against you. Strange!

All in all, Americans are individualists and believe in self help even in foreign lands. Also, Americans do not trust strangers who are not members of some peer groups. Even within those peer groups they divide themselves into above-described categories although of a somewhat milder degree.

Black Americans that I have met are divided into the following camps- some continue racial segregation, and mistrust or even hate you and do not want to talk to you or help you because they "hate the Honkey" - about one half, and some are angels - 10% who will take you around, help you out and be very nice and warm to you. Good black Americans like that can be very good friends. The other 40% will be just indifferent to you and pay you no mind.

Other non white Americans usually will be helpful to members of their hyphenated ethnicity, and just a tiny percentage will have any productive engagement with you. Filipino and other Asian Americans are completely different from the natives of the country whose ethnicty they supposedly represent in the USA.
The best ones I have found are the Hispanic ones, but there are very few of them overseas. I would say that a good half of them will be good sports in all situations, the other half will just be indifferent and a tiny percentage will be nasty to you.

The exception is usually online or in any kinds of formal association. If you are a member if some American clubs or some expat message boards, and you ask for advice usually, it will be given. Again, in some 70% of cases, do not expect a good result from such help.

The military guys often only associate themselves with other military guys and belong to different associations where help can be given. They do not like civilians that much and usually do not trust them. There are exceptions to the rule and they are a great blessing to encounter.

Another caution about dealing with Americans abroad: do not ostentatiously display your knowledge of the local language or how well you are integrated with local people, as it can create some very unpleasant reactions. The overwhelming majority of American expats ( and that can be said about all Anglo cultures in general) never bother to learn the local language even after they have been in the country for many years. Most have an imperial, colonial attitude of them "owning or ruling the world" even if they are aliens on a conditional visa. And the locals are so used to that that they now simply adjust to the Americans. In other cases, they are condescending and auspiciously nice to the locals in some cases, possibly to make up for the racial oppression of colored peoples at home. Only a teeny , microspcip percentage is truly nice and integrating. But usually, an American speaking a foreign language or integrating with the locals on their terms is as rare as a horse that sings "La Traviata". If you have respect for the local culture and study the language and assimilate, try not to speak it at work where an American boss is present as he will feel that you are being a smart ass. It will also make him appear arrogant and dumb, and the locals will start saying to him-" How come Mr. Smith has been in our country only ( put the number of years here) and you, Mr. Jones have been here ( put the number of years) and you cannot speak the language?" You may even end up getting fired. Happened to me, yes siree!

If you choose to be in company of other Americans, please speak English and only offer your services as a translator humbly and cautiously in case they cannot explain themselves well to the locals. About 10% of Americans will praise your efforts to integrate. In most cases though, your language ability may work against you if you deal with Americans abroad and want to do business with them or maintain some kind of friendship. So, be careful.

Ironically, it is Americans that are the most indignant about immigrants not wanting to assimilate and become Americans but act exactly the same when they are overseas.

In my case, regardless of whom I encounter I try and offer help, advice and observations and try and act humbly and politely. I have even been able to give jobs to some really sardonic, full-of-themselves Americans whom I have found overseas. Many were surprised that I have offered them help and job referrals and advice. In many cases, I was treated with mistrust and brushed off. This did not daunt me, though, and I am always determined to help them and anyone else to the best of my ability.

Online, things are different though, because message boards do for the most part attract intelligent and mostly humane people with pompous assholes and toxic sarcastic mockers being an exception to the rule. There is also a contingent of well- wishers who are totally without any idea how to help, but they have the benefit of simply not answering the post. Or their posts can be ignored.

If you look for good Americans who know things, and who can be helpful and nice to the utmost degree they will be about 3%, with most heavily concentrated on online boards. But generally, there is little solidarity among Yanks abroad and it is each man to himself and each on his own. Most do not give a hoot in hell if a fellow American goes down or even dies. Just like back home. F*ck your fellow man! Totally unlike the Chinese or the Jews and various Muslim ethnicities who help each other much more. Whether it is good or bad is a judgment call.

My advice is: do not be such a rugged individualist when abroad and cautiously and when needed offer help inasmuch as you can. Even with advice or encouragement. You can put on a non chalant face or display a bravado if it helps to get through to them. Anyway, this is my observation.

Credit Restraints are for People not the Government

2011-01-19T23:51:00.000-08:00

Try and do search on credit cards online and lots of articles urging you to be careful with them will come up. The usual moralizing goes like this: cut them up, make a repayment plan, call your local Consumer Credit Councellor to help you. Use sparingly, pay your bill every month, be thrifty and save up for all your purchases. Buy cash, use a debit card. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it.
How come no one will deliver a similar strict lecture to the government officials who do not seem to be thrifty at all with the National Budget and who borrow profusely from foreign powers and banks like there is no tomorrow while running up phantasmagorical debts, the likes of which has not been seen in the history of mankind? Many borrow from countries who do not really view us as friends. Why don’t they save up a bit? Like for example, take part of their salary and pensions and create a fund and when they are ready to wage a war, they wage it. But no, thriftiness is for the common folks to observe, not for them.

Modern Fashion Shows Have Little Practical Use

2011-01-19T23:38:00.000-08:00

Every time I watch a fashion channel on TV, I can’t help wondering about one thing- now, who on earth would dare put on all these extravagant clothes and walk down the street? I would imagine what would happen if someone did. Even in a place like New York. If it were a man, he would immediately be thought to be crazy and gay at the same time, and a woman would be seen like she is dressed in some gaudy Halloween costume ala lesbian prostitute cum insane air balloon artist.
As a show of bold art, these cat walk promenades are charming, but as a trend setter, they are too weird to be taken seriously. The clothing they often advertise is just way too fancy to say the least and some use the occasion to simply introduce revolutionary wearable abstract art that can never really be put to actual uses.
I am not against new ideas but I am just being practical. In no way these fashion shows serve the public or even introduce a useful product or service. Why even watch them?
Still cannot understand how those fashion designers make careers out of something that brings little visible benefit to society.

Happiness is Being a Kuwaiti

2011-01-17T03:36:00.000-08:00

If you could choose a nationality, what would that be? Who has the best deal? I think Kuwait does!

The Kuwaiti government really takes care of its people.

Here are some examples!

If a Kuwaiti wants to get married, it gives the person USD 14,000 for the expenses. Half is a grant, one half they need to pay back interest free at some $130 a month. Not bad!
If that Kuwaiti wants later to buy/build a house, the government will provide an interest free loan of some $250,000. Some is forgiven, most is payable back at some $350 a month. Until paid. Not bad at all.
If they want to go and buy food, the government has a discount store for Kuwaitis. They pay some 40% of what a non citizen will pay.
If a Kuwaiti wants to study abroad, the government will pay for the flights, the tuition and books and give them a salary of some $2000 a month. Not bad!
If a Kuwaiti gets sick, medical care is free but if he/she needs to be treated abroad because Kuwait hospitals do not have the facilities, the government will pay for the medical care, the tickets and all the expenses associated with the person’s sojourn overseas while receiving the treatment. How much? Some Kuwaitis have mentioned up to $30,000 a month.
If a Kuwaiti has a child, the government will pay them $200 per child per month until the children are 26 years old. This is to pay for miscellaneous expenses even if the person is employed. This is to help the nation grow through healthy families.
If a young Kuwaiti student wants to get married while studying, his government will help with a living stipend of some $2700 while he is still in school. This way a young person can start a family while still studying. Np art time jobs or crippling student loans are needed. And edication isnde Kuwait is free. Yes, siree!
If a Kuwaiti woman becomes divorced, the government will pay her about US$ 1400 until she reestablishes herself marriage-wise or work-wise.
On the 50th anniversary of Independence - Feb 25/2011, every Kuwaiti is going to get $3560 as a gift from his/her government. And starting from the Independence day every citizen will even be able to get a free food from national stores for a period pf over a year.

There are many more benefits but these are the ones that Kuwaiti coworkers have told me about. Now I know what I want to be when I grow up!
Too bad full Kuwaiti nationality is very hard to get, even for those born in Kuwait.

Bashing Russia- an Exercise in Impunity

2011-01-14T11:04:00.000-08:00

About two decades ago, a series of movies and books came out which coincided with the rise of Japan as a global economic power ready to take over the world. These movies and books enjoyed only a very brief period of popularity and still earned its owners a sizable profit but Japan collapsed in the early 90ies and simply turned into a shadow of its former self. The Japanese- dominated Pacific Century did not come to fruition. Instead, China arose as the new power for all to contend with.
I read some of these books and all had one thing in them- some cavalier and seriously nationalistic and concerned American taking on the new Japanese Empire and dealing it a serious blow while taking away a girl in the process back home to California. And of course, a Japanese girl would abandon her Japanese suitors to go with a handsome, usually blue collar American with serious military training who would kick any J-p’s a--. A movie by the name of “The Rising Sun” immediately evoked protests and accusations of racism. After all, if you are against the Japanese, well, your feelings are purely race based, aren’t they? At the premier of the movie, there was an Asian American in front of the movie theater carrying a poster- Racist Profits! He felt that Asian Americans would be adversely affected by this hate- mongering movie. And well, he may have been right.
However, for over a century now, the Western World , particularly the English speaking world led by the UK and the US have been bashing and demonizing the Russians in much worse ways, and has been getting away with it nicely because well, no one can accuse them of racism! Russophobia is just, well, perfectly OK. Russians are white! There is also no sizeable Russian community in the US to fight back. Or to care.
Most Anti- Russian feeling in the West comes from the old rivalry between the British and the Russian Empires in the 19th century later followed by the US anti communist stance and the great Cold War. But even as the Cold War ended, the anti Russian sentiment has continued. There was a brief reprieve from it following the Gorbachev’s peace initiative and Glastnost and Perestroika, after which, Russia again became the bad guy , the punchbag for the media and a never ending source of more movie plots for Hollywood. The Communists are going to be back in power, see, and there will be a new Cold War. The Russian mafia and gangsters are invading America and England. Russian women are no longer courageous Cold War brides whose dream is to end up in the arms of their Yank or British husband but are either prostitutes, sluts or mail order brides. There is hardly any news from Russia that is positive that ever finds its way into the Western media just as it is a case with the Arabs except that in the former case, it is safe. No one will come out on TV and try and defend it.
Test yourself: say the word” Russia” aloud! What comes to mind? Communism? Mafia? The Cold War, images of angry soldiers, babushkas? Cold winter? Maybe in the best of cases, a few novels by some very dark Russian writers? Crime and Punishment. Hardly a positive image! Say the word “ the Russians” and dour faces of Communist leaders appear. A soldier with a button on a nuclear device, spies, mafiosis with thick accents, prostitutes, mail order brides, and just very unfriendly , grim-faced and scowling people period. The voice of a male Russian is thick and low; he rolls his r’s, he is drunk, he hates the US, he beats up his girlfriend with a whip. He is the ultimate villain and the only one that is still Ok to show on TV without anyone protesting. In today’s Politically Correct world, demonizing the Russians is perfectly acceptable! And will be so for many years to come. Somebody has to be the bad guy, the Russians fit the bill. They do not want to toe the Anglo Saxon world’s line, are too big to be invaded and subjugated, so, at least they can be bashed into near oblivion. This will also make money for movie producers and journalists with no one protesting much.
Many Americans love to believe that America is the most hated nation in the world. I don’t think so! While there are definitely circles somewhere that hate America, most of the world has nothing but admiration for the US, its culture, its fashions, it technology, it language etc. Same with the UK. But those who like Russia are rare. The only countries that do are maybe other Orthodox nations such as Greece, Bulgaria and Serbia/Montenegro and that’s it. No one else really likes it. And few people respect it.
In the West, tours that promise that there are not going to be any Russians around when you visit Turkey or Egypt are gaining popularity. Imagine tours that promise no blacks or no Asians! This would create an international uproar. But it is OK to make sure that Russians are not involved. It is not racist, you see.
Russia is aware of such attitudes and the whole situation is feeding its defense industry and its overall xenophobic stance. Getting visas to work and live there is becoming more and more difficult, bringing girlfriends or wives out of there also riskier and not really beneficial for them. Think about it: do you really want to bring a Russian woman to a country where every possible media outlet teaches its people to hate her motherland? If you were a Russian woman would you like to live in a society like that? I sure would not!
This is a sad situation and unless the Western world wakes up and presents some kind of balanced view of Russia and its people, things will just continue getting worse and worse. We have been afraid of the new Cold War but it has been going on for a long time already anyway. And it is not going to let up any time soon.

Telling the Hollywood Love Dream to Buzz Off!

2011-01-14T08:09:00.001-08:00

“Do not look for love, but let love find you. When you look hard for it, it will not appear, but when you stop, and least expect it, it will, like a gentle butterfly, land upon your shoulder!”
Whoever came up with this saying is insane! Most if not all of us are here on earth as a result of arranged marriages which were practiced for uncountable generations. And in the majority of the world they still are arranged. Somehow people do not leave things to the capricious chance. Actually most people, of following this advice will find that if they expect love to happen, it will not, and if they don’t expect it to happen, it won’t again.
In some societies, people of a certain age, looks, race etc can meet others easily, but in many societies they cannot approach people just like that because of social, racial/ethnic, religious and even legal restrictions. And most certainly, they can’t just sit and wait. Cause nothing will come. As in zilch, nada, not one darn thing, not one person.
For those people who cannot attract the opposite sex because of the factors above, whether they are expecting or not to find it, proactive pursuit is the recommended course of action. People now, for one, can openly advertise online and these people are not losers, they are winners because they no longer believe in the mercy of some fickle fate. People who travel to other countries to find markets for themselves are also courageous winners. But those who believe in the nonsense saying initially quoted are sorely misled.
In the so called liberated Western societies, women can easily find partners, but not guys because guys can be charged with verbal assault, sexual harassment and other such things if they court a girl. In the college period, things happen a bit easier but again, only for those who are most attractive. For many people, if they are not in the right clique and not the right age/race, looks, the waiting or non waiting for the butterfly to land on their shoulder is cruel mockery and a false religious teaching. I say- do not buy into that philosophy. Actively pursue love and do so globally!
With the advent of online dating and cheap international travel, you now must add the countries in the world where people like you are in demand and where many persons of the opposite sex are interested in you. For Western guys it is SE Asia, E. Europe and S. America. For Western women, it is the Mediterranean and Africa/the Caribbean.
Looking for love is like looking for a job. You go to where jobs are and where they pay well. If there are not that many jobs in your area, you go somewhere else. I will give you this example. I was looking for a well paying job in California. I applied in many places, filled out resumes, etc, but got very little response and what I got was of low quality. I then contacted Middle East employers and, very quickly, offers with tickets, paid housing and great salaries came my way.
I approached American women but the ones who were even moderately attractive hissed back at me like a cobra that had been disturbed from its sleep. I felt I was intruding. I then decided to not pursue anything and not to expect. But no butterflies landed on my shoulder. Then I could not take it anymore and I went to SE Asia and I was now in demand. So, Hollywood dream, I am gonna have to tell you to buzz off and not to come back again cause I am building my own dream based on what my eyes see and what my brain is figuring out! I date globally, I am proactive and I wait for no handouts from your false fate god.
So, just buzz off!

Roomates/sharing in a semi-permissive/cheap country? Think twice!

2011-01-12T03:12:00.000-08:00

I was recently in a country X and it was cheap to live there, but then I decided well, maybe I could share a house with a bunch of other expats. It would help me save money. But I have learned many things that prevent me from doing it now. It is just not worth it.

In other words, there are hidden dangers in it, so I do not recommend that you do it. Why?

One of your housemates may have unhealthy interests in people of a certain age range, and if he brought such people in and got caught, it would involve you by default just because you are there and he can also blame you if anything happens. A wacko can do things like that. In certain sleazy countries, expats can be strange and many are downright criminal or just foolhardy and cavalier. You may be a long time resident mindful of local laws and traditions but they may be newbies who think they can get away with things. And they might for while, especially if they use you as a scapegoat

Another housemate can use drugs or bring a girlfriend who is using drugs and there can be a raid, and you can end up at a police station with the rest of them and again, they can blame you and say those drugs were supplied by you!

Not to mention that many can run up stellar gas, water or electric bills and then just skip and you will have to be explaining this to the landlord.

Anyway, when in poorer countries, loosen up your purse strings a bit, and invest in a private, secure and safe residence for you only! Do not get housemates! Got it?

Just a word to the wise!

Frankfurt Airport Insolent Gate Changes and Other Blues

2011-01-08T15:16:00.001-08:00

Frankly I am not impressed with the much lauded and supposed German efficiency. For one thing, the Frankfurt airport hub is given to a nasty habit- they arbitrarily change departure gates after you have been assigned your gate and do not make public service announcements of any kind. So, say you go to the gate that has been clearly printed on your boarding pass, and then sit and wait for your flight. You may be reading a book and yawning and then slowly you begin to realize that something is wrong. There is no queue or crowd of any sort gathering, and around you there are just some non-descript sleepy people resembling skid row homeless winos who are just getting another peaceful snooze. “ Hey! What’s up?! Where is my flight?” The gate is closed, there is no name of any flight there! The inside hall is dark. Hey, what’s going on? There are no service personnel anywhere in sight. You start running around like crazy until you find some people in uniform. Hey, I was supposed to leave on flight 123! Where is it?” “ I am not sure, please check with the information desk”. “Where is the information desk? “ It is outside the security”. “Outside the security?” You mean now I need to basically leave the departure area? “ That’s right! You should have checked the board. There is the board, go and look up your flight number”. I go to the board and cannot find it. I run out of the departure area and find the information desk with a long line in front of it – I stand in the line. When I get to the end of it, they tell me- your flight is gone! What do you mean it is gone!?”” It went on to its destination!” “But I was at the goddamn gate waiting for it! WTF!!!! “ Here is my gate number!” “It had changed!” Well, why didn’t you announce it? Why didn’t you call my name?’ We don’t announce those things here in Frankfurt! Oh thanks a lot.”

Even in Bangkok, a supposedly lazy and inefficient airport, if you are not at your gate, they will announce and look for you so that you don’t miss your flight. They will also do so in the US. “Passenger so and so, please come to the departure gate this and that, blah, blah, blah.” Not in Germany. You are now screwed. So,what should I do? Try and get on the next flight! Get into that line overthere. When I see the line, it seems to be over two hundred meters long moving slower than a snail. Literally. People are basically camping out on the floor, and the Lufthansa people are giving sandwiches and water to the people. I end up standing in like ( or sitting and lying in that line) for six long hours! I have made some good friends in it who have had the same problem. Lufthansa arbitrarily changes departure gates with no PSA of any kind except that you are supposed to be watching the electronic board for any gate changes. You see, it is your responsibility. Well, after 6 long hours in the line, they give me a hotel and a food coupon and I end up spending a white Christmas in Germany after a friendly immigration officer stamps me in. The snow is falling heavily, there are decorations everywhere, the people are really nice and friendly. My fellow flight-missers and I ride a bus shuttle, stand in yet another line, and I are having a nice buffet while watching a winter wonderland outside through the huge windows of our four star hotel. Well, at least they took some responsibility for their actions and put us up at the hotel. But why pay all this money if you can just announce the gate change on the radio.

But it ain’t over yet. After having gone through the security- another monumental task, we find out that the flight has been canceled because of bad weather. Off we go into Germany again and spend another 5-7 hours in lines. Another day at the airport and another night at, now, a five star hotel. Not a bad deal actually, and they call me from work to my international roaming number and tell me that I am being paid for all this time, as it is not my fault. Again, it is all very nice, and I am happy to have made all these new friends among fellow plane – abandonees and new flight-missers.

On the third day, I finally get the flight, but what about my bag? Oh, it is still at the airport they say and will most definitely be on your flight. Well, it is not true. It only arrived 11 days later. Gratefully, I must say, that Lufthansa gave me $50 to buy some clothes and toiletries in case it arrives late. But the whole thing was no picnic nonetheless. Getting through to them by phone was nearly impossible.

In the end it all worked out but I am still surprised at this:

1) Why don’t such organized people as Germans have some kind of good system of announcing gate changes and catching up on missing passengers with boarding passes who are faithfully waiting for their flights and now useless gates? Like other civilized nations do. Why do they put the burden of watching for gate changes on you? Is it your job? You have the gate number given to you by THEM. So, wouldn’t it be nice to have the courtesy of them telling you that it has been changed? It will save them a lot of money if they have that system and it will save the passengers a lot of grief.

2) Why don’t they have a nice info booth in the departure area? If anything goes wrong, you now need to leave and go out so that you would have to go through the ordeal of having yourself patted and having your bags gutted once again?

3) Why do they tell you sweet lies about your baggage being on the plane (been done to me twice) and when you arrive it is not there?

Not very efficient, Germany! Shape up!

Another thing! In the US, you have all these power outlets for your laptop and often, a free WI FI. In Frankfurt, these are very hard to find and the only place they have them is at some beer counter which is packed with people. I found an outlet at my table in a café and plugged my laptop in and a waitress immediately appeared and started telling me off. Now, WTF again! Makes you kind of appreciate the US for once.

Anyway, at least they got my bag to me in the end, paid for my hotel and food and gave me some money to tide me over with some cheap clothes- luckily I was in a country that had them on sale. Germans are responsible, I admit, but as far as passenger service efficiency at the airport, they have a long way to go.

Hey, India! Simplify Your Visa Rules!

2011-01-08T13:13:00.001-08:00

India is a great place to visit but the tourist visa procedure is unnecessarily complicated. Sri Lanka will give you a visa on arrival but India will not. India asks you to fill out this ridiculously long form in which, among other things it asks you to list an Indian friend or relative that you are supposed to know. Come on! Where would I get one? Am I supposed to make an Indian friend before I go there? I was lucky I was working in the Gulf and I was able to secure a name of an Indian coworker. How about other people who are no exposed to an Indian community in their area?

Also, I was applying for the Indian visa in Manila and guess what? They had a three tier visa pricing list- one was for Filipinos- the price was the lowest. The second one was for everyone else- slightly higher and the highest was for Americans. Isn’t that just dandy! Well, sure America is the richest country in the world. An American teacher will have to pay more for the visa than the Sultan of Brunei, because an American is richer by default.

And when you get out of the airport in Mumbai, there are also so little shopping! No place to buy a book even. And the stalls selling juices and food are staffed by non English speaking staff. Nothing wrong with that as it is their country but you did announce in tourist commercials that “India speaks my language”. Hmm! What’s up?

Anyway, if you want tourist revenue, just make it simple to get the visa at least for the citizens of high income countries. If you still insist on a pre-obtained visa, you can have an online thing kind of like in Australia. Just a very small form to fill out where you put in your passport number and, if you still want money for visas, well, have the person fill in a credit card form and bingo! It is done! And watch millions more coming. Because the way it is now, the gratuitous bureaucratic obstacles is just letting those millions of tourist dollars go elsewhere.

Russia’s Bad Breath Problem

2011-01-08T13:12:00.001-08:00

Before I start addressing this, let me look to my left and my right and see if anyone disapproves. Hmm, I guess if I am to criticize Russia, I have green light from the Political Correctness police. There are not black, Hispanic, Asian, Muslim, or any other protected group so no one will call me a bigot! Yipee! Here we go:

Russia, what’s up with the sulfuric, horse feces breath of so many people that serve tourists there? You have airport personnel that is there to take your tickets and issue boarding passes and the air coming from them smells as if it is not coming from the mouth but from the opposite body orifice! Have you guys ever heard of mouthwash or breath mints?

Why did you have to build the nuclear bombs and all these bio weapons? It was a waste of time! Just breathe on these countries and you have conquered them! Or maybe this is how you had built your empire to begin with?

Russia has largely been spared the Madison Avenue inferiority complex inducing body smell eliminating advertising campaign and as a result, man, so many of your mouths stink so bad that it makes me want to faint. In your Slavic culture talking about bodily functions is a taboo but you’d better start talking about them because if you don’t, other countries will talk.

You want a better impression on tourists and businessmen? You want to be welcome in other countries more? Start with your breath. Get some Listerine or some other mouthwash or put some Clorets into your mouths and suck on them.

Another thing, Russia. Would you mind not employing those middle aged ladies with mustaches until they wax them off clean? A female Cossack with the facial hair good enough to be twirled and the bad breath to boot! Hey, bring your cosmetic and oral state to the 21^st century standards!

Let me look both ways again! Did I says something racist? No, Russian are white so I am safe!

A Spiritual Solution to the Deadbeat Problem

2011-01-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

One thing I have noticed is that no matter what the nationality, if a person borrows money from you, and either cannot or is not willing to pay it back, the behavior follows the same pattern:

1) An obsequious smile and a soft-voiced request for money if coming from women, and a non-chalant, cool swagger from men and a friendly grin with the same intent.

2) Once you loan money to them, they promise to pay you back on a certain date and start acting “ just normal” around you.

3) The date arrives and you see them walk proud with a head held high and a confident spring in the step. This is the first stage of not intending to pay you back. You then just follow them with your gaze and they just look deadpan and pretend they do not even know why you are looking at them like that.

4) You hem and haw and initiate a very awkward conversation- “hey, do you think you may want to pay me back the money you had borrowed?” “Oh sure, gee, I completely forgot!” ( he/she did not forget to ask you for the loan, but they conveniently forget to pay it back. Selective memory! “ I will bring it to you tomorrow”. Oh, that magic word- tomorrow!

5) Tomorrow comes and the strident, arrogant gait with confident, broad steps, and a non-chalant whistle to boot, reappears. The head is held even higher but now there is a challenging expression on the face and a mildly provoking smirk. “Go ahead and ask me again”. Hmm, you clear your throat and cough mildly. “Do you think you may pay me back today? I mean, like I really need the money to pay for this and that and the other.” “Oh, sure, just let me get to the bank, and some other excuse follows-“ I’m kind of broke now, you see I had to pay for gas and things like that”. “But don’t worry, just chill out, you are starting to get nervous and it is annoying me. Don’t you trust me?” “ I will do it next week if you don’t mind.” “: Next week? “ you said ‘today’, man, I really need that money! “ Now, an angry frown appears on their face.

6) The next day they walk in looking sulky and pissed and start avoiding you altogether; angry eyes sometimes flashing at you, mouth pouting, breathing heavy, body language threatening. You know at this time that if you raise the subject again, it will cause a confrontation. Suppose you do? Well, they explode! “ I will pay you! Just don’t bother me, you cheapskate! You are so greedy and stingy and all! I am sick and tired of listening to your complaints! Money, money, money, that’s all you can think about, you cheap Jew! “

I have seen this behavior coming from Brits, Germans, Filipinos and even very responsible Japanese. A deadbeat acts the same no matter the culture, race, creed or nationality.

There you go! You have lost your money, you have made an enemy and it is now YOUR fault! YOU are the troublemaker! YOU are now the one who is bothering, hounding and harassing people! You are the one who is bad and who is causing all sorts of problems.

What should you do? I will tell you what I do and you may call me insane. I forgive the debt. I tell the person that well, if it is so hard for them, then they should just consider it a gift and a donation. This way I cut my losses and I absorb the expense into my life! A big believer in karma, I pray to heavenly deities that this money serves the person well, that it is spent into the society at large and that, in some mystic ways, it circulates around the world and, in due time, it finds its way back into my pocket, not necessarily through the appearance of the exact same amount of cash (although it has happened to me, as well), but by better circumstances, cheap deals, upgrades and freebies in the future. I like to think that it does. Ever since I adopted that kind of attitude, I have been upgraded to first class airplane seats (which would have meant a couple of thousand dollars extra), spent months on end working only 2-3 hours a day and then relaxing at home but getting a full pay and by getting jobs with lots of fringe benefits that other people would never have. While I cannot conclusively prove that this was a direct result of my having written off so many debts to others, I can confidently say that I have been blessed with lots and lots of generosity from the Exchequer of the Universe.

In addition to that, the person that you forgave the debt of will now be treating you like a demigod and will be feeling guilty for a long time. Who knows, he/she may even pray for your health and well-being thus putting positive energy into the Cosmos associated with your name.

Or, as in some 10-20% of the cases, he/she may even pay back the debt!

Racial Blahs at SUNY New Paltz

2010-12-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was still a greenhorn in the US having just gotten my green card and barely out of my teens, I was studying at the State University of New York in New Paltz. There was a black fraternity there. They used to march and chant some slogans. I could not make out exactly just what it was they were chanting but it did not sound friendly. Basically, they occupied a dorm in the back of the campus, and once I went there, and there were all these murals about how blacks were brought to America. The dorm folks there seemed to be united in some nationalistic organization with leaders and also, there were some Rastafarian guys with dreadlocks walking around. These were also kind of like spiritual leaders. I tried to talk to them, but they were giving me pissed off looks. There were also some intellectual black guys and they looked like revolutionaries lost deep in thought, and they were also hanging around that area with the other nationalists.

One day I found a black nationalist newspaper in my dorm. There were angry poems in it about how a honkey could not be trusted the same way a wild tiger could not be trusted. How they ( black people that is) were never meant to be in the US “ thanks to the boy with blue eyes”. The nationalists went campaigning from dorm to dorm and in one of their articles,they were comparing the white dorms to “cold snow”. It was winter, there was snow outside, and I felt so sad reading about the whole thing.

Eventually I met a black guy in my Spanish class, and I was assigned to be his tutor to help him with the language. He was one of the leaders in that dorm and he kind of relaxed a bit after he had found out I was an immigrant to the US and not a real “ honkey”. He was studying chemistry, and we got into many discussions on many topics, including racism. He had told me that after all his experiences of living in the US, he had decided to “stick with his race”. I told him that in a way he was perpetuating apartheid and segregation by doing that to which he replied sadly that well, that is how things were and that he was doing his best to adjust to the situation.

There was another black guy in my dorm, though, who was obviously gay and he did not belong to that nationalistic community. He hung out with people of all races and was very happy and was basically accepted by the theater folks he was always with. There was also a very black teacher there, originally from Jamaica, who was darker in color than coal but he was always hanging out with other teachers and did not seem to be sharing in the same sad spirit with the black dorm guys.

All in all, there was still a lot of anger and “pissed-off-edness” on that campus and it left an unpleasant aftertaste in one’s mouth after a month of being there. At that time, I was dating a black girl from Panama who was very African in appearance but very Hispanic in culture. She also did not accept the segregation, and wanted to make friends with everybody. Many black American girls though, did not like the fact that she was with me and made snide remarks about us being together.

I learned at that time that black people from the Caribbean or Latin America really did not feel the same way as many black people in the US. And they too, had been brought to the Americas as slaves. Originally, I mean. One Jamaican girl told me: “we do not consider ourselves black- we consider ourselves Jamaican”. I was also hanging out with some Haitian girls who were also pretty black but very French in culture and outlook, and who did not know the meaning of the word “honkey”. My friend and I used to visit them and practice our French with them and hang out with them eating and joking and just socializing. So, again, during that time I learned that possibly, in other countries things were different.

I was living in the section of the dorm with some African students. Some guys were from Tanzania and Kenya and also, from West Africa. These were mostly nice and I made friends with them, too, The anger was coming mostly from a certain contingent of Black Americans.

In my native country there were no black people and; therefore, I was still very new to the racial dynamics in the US but by observing this centuries- old strife I kept wondering- "well, why can’t these people who are writing about the evil honkeys just, leave, you know, and go to places where such evil feelings did not exist? Such as, well, maybe Panama or Jamaica? Or Haiti or Africa?

And maybe in those countries I could date black girls and we could all have fun together without having to deal with all this nonsense? I also met US whites who were guilt- ridden and who were dating black American guys to “make up” for the centuries of oppression. I, as a person who'd just recently got off the refugee visa but still stateless, was trying hard to fit in and get Americanized but I just could not accept the whole thing. I felt that this was really a gratuitous problem, totally unnecessary. But I guess it filled some people’s lives with the sense of martyrdom and cause.

I also learned that in case of non American blacks, some American Black people did not treat them well, and did not help them. They seemed to have got all their help from white people. There was virtually no mixing between American and non American blacks. Strange! What happened to all that black unity that was being preached?

On Karma, Running Away from Yourself and Moving in Search of Love

2010-12-27T09:55:00.000-08:00

I often would get involved in discussions with my cynical and sarcastic father as well as smirking colleagues about my dating problems in the US. Basically, my gripe was that I could not get a date here in this country whereas back in the old country I could. My father would always remind me that I could not go back for political reasons and the native born Americans could not relate to the whole thing and just kept telling me to develop more confidence and then ask people to introduce me to someone, etc.
I was not only lonely but very frustrated sexually and I dreamt of passionate nights with the woman I loved or many women I loved, and things like that.
What if I go to another country? Many army guys would tell me there were great places to find love overseas. The grim answer my father would give when I suggested such things would always be:” you are running away from yourself”, and “you are trying to warm yourself at someone else’s fireplace”. Some religious people would tell me that I could not run away from my karma. Basically, all of them would try and dissuade me from leaving and going to another country to improve my luck.
I left 20 years ago and here is what I have learned:
Wherever you go, there you are, karmically that is. What do I mean by that? Well, some say that karma is an account that you carry inside your life. In that account you have debits and credits. You can only use so many credits. If you spend your credits on one thing, you will run out of credits to be spent on other things. It is like money. How does it work in real life? Ok, for example, you go to a country and there you finally find a girl of your dreams. Everything is going fantastic. Suddenly, horrible things happen in work and in business. What happened to me was that the company I worked for suddenly went bust, they did not pay me my salary, did not process me for the visa and I had to live on my credit cards. I ran up a huge bill. When I went back home, my life became a disaster just trying to pay back the debts. Then, while I was still supporting the girl and paying back the debts and renting her a place, some guy went into her room, raped her and then, to avoid punishment, married her. Anyway, it was one nasty thing after another. Really cruel stuff. As if some strange forces were at work to make my life miserable and push me back to “where I belonged”. Again I ended up lonely, poor and in an even worse condition than before. And it messed me up emotionally so bad that I could not hold down a job and was fired for bad performance. Ouch! That hurt!
But no karma is unredeemable. When going through hellish things like that, you are also “spending” karma, but you are using debits, not credits. It means basically that you are paying back your karmic debts. If you get back on your own two feet again and try to pull off a similar overseas stunt next time, you will find that this particular time things will be easier. You will still encounter resistance but not quite as bad and much easier to deal with. If again you do not succeed, your third time will be even easier. This is why many people urge you to never give up.
Eventually I was able to date and have great fun and came very close to finding the love of my life but this time it was me who was making the choice whether to accept it or not.
Anyway, what is my point? Well, it is that no matter where you go, you will have to deal with your destiny and your karmic “account”. Does that mean you should not become an expat? Not at all! Go and do what you have to do! Just do not be surprised if all kinds of vicious, nasty events starts coming out of your life and do not be scared by them. If you have a religion or some spiritual practice, do not stop following it and develop yourself further on the path to self improvement and enlightenment. This way, your multinational adventures will eventually give you the desired results.

Why The Philippines is my Favorite Country

2010-12-01T19:49:00.001-08:00

I have traveled to almost forty countries, and the Philippines is my favorite. I have been here on and off for nineteen years already. Why? Well, because this is where I feel most at home. I believe if you are an expat on your own free volition and not because of money, then, there must be a country that you love more than your own; for me it is the Philippines. Here are my reasons:

I grew up in very racist and highly nationalistic countries, something which always got me down. Here in the Philippines, there is little to no racial discrimination unless you consider “Hi Joe’s” and being sometimes overcharged by Manila taxi drivers as being deemed “racially inferior”. There is no strong ethnic chauvinism or a concept of ‘race’ as in other Asian countries or in many places in Europe or America, and which has created so much suffering in the world. These islands are a home to over a hundred ethnic groups who mingle rather freely and who more or less know how to respect each other. No Kosovo-type deportations, no holocausts, no unbridled hatred for a man whose language or race are different. You never hear something like: “This is the Philippines, speak our language or get out!” You hear people say that in other countries, though.
I am definitely foreign-looking, but, sometimes I have kids pointing at me and asking other kids-“Is that your father?” This could never happen in Japan or Thailand or Korea, for example.

The country has a mild and pleasant overall cultural feel to it: it forms an even triangle of three major influences: Asian Malay, which gives it a relaxed, communal and an astoundingly friendly disposition; which is still not too Asian to seem foreign to a non-Asian. It has an old American (Anglo-Saxon) influence that gives it a degree of practical thinking and a uniquely Anglo common sense as well as its English language and its worship of education. But it is not too American to seem cold. Why? It is because you also have the deep Latin/Spanish tradition which gives the country its romantic quality, the depth of passion in friendship and in love, the strong family ties and friends that last a life time. However, it is not too Latin either, and the passions are still soft because the other two elements balance them out and keep them subdued. It is a unique combination that only this country has.

In addition to that you have the Chinese, the Indian, African, and a smattering of other influences that seem to enrich the overall culture and give it greater depth. There have been so many migrations here, and so many invaders and travelers that people generally accept foreigners and mingle with them rather freely. They are used to them. They themselves came to these islands in boats or by land bridges. Sometimes, I feel that this country has kind of like “cultural hooks” anybody can just hitch himself or herself onto. An American, a Chinese person, an Arab, a European and even an African can easily find some niche in the Philippines that will feel like it is an extension of his or her homeland.
In spite of all the strange news that is shown in the world media about the Philippines, the place is mostly safe, with very happy, affable, mild mannered, and conflict-avoiding people.

Happiness is in the air! If pursuit of happiness is your goal in life, you can scoop it up with buckets in most places all over the country. It is like some golden ether that permeates the atmosphere of the place. Many a grim-faced foreigner has learned how to smile and be happy after he has been here for some time.

Outsiders, by and large, quickly integrate even if they do not know the language because there is no Western style linguistic intolerance. The people are not judgmental and do not like to analyze you. It is easy to just be yourself here.

There are rules for integration, though:
1) Never lose your temper even if people around you make a mistake or do something that you think is wrong. Be calm. They will show you the same tolerance when you make a mistake or a wrong.
2) Be polite to the elderly and treat them with honor. Learn how to do “mano po”.
3) Respect people regardless of their financial situation. Most people here are struggling, but have learned not to complain and to bear life’s burdens and be happy through all these struggles. It is a remarkable trait, please learn to appreciate it. There are almost no suicides here no matter what happens.
4) Try and help people who need help with advice, good word, and yes, even with some money. However, do not flash too much of it lest the locals think you have an overabundant supply of cash and thus assume that help is unlimited. As much as possible, if you help with money, try to do it so that you can help others to help themselves.
5) Always try to stay happy and smile a lot. No one comes here to be unhappy. Read about culture shock and go through it stoically.
6) Try to learn the local language as much as possible and read as many books on the Philippine culture as you can.

Traveling, working, retiring in or visiting the Philippines is supposed to be a happy experience. If you follow the steps above and learn to appreciate its culture (and I am not even talking about its natural beauty) and way of life and do as Romans do, you might have the time of your life (pun intended) here.

A White Guy Speaking Tagalog

2010-03-07T04:41:00.000-08:00

Some say that when you go to a country, you should try and learn its language. So, I decided to learn Tagalog so that I could speak to Filipino people. I began my study with all kinds of books on a Civil Defense base in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. There was some Filipino staff there, and I paid them to drill me and talk to me.

Tagalog is not an easy language to learn. Actually, I found it to be one of the hardest. The reason is a very convoluted grammar, particularly the verbs. These do not only have numerous prefixes and suffixes but also, infixes. And these double in several places creating words the length of an oversize caterpillar. You also have adjectives with numerous prefixes and suffixes. Up until today I have hard time using them all and prefer to simplify my speech as much as I can.

Then, many if not most sentences, are in passive voice, so instead of saying “Give me some water”, you say “Given by you to me (be) water!”. Almost regal- like. In the past , you would say, “Being given by him to me ( was) water.”, In a sentence, a subject and an object are hard to distinguish, and it takes time to unravel it. And when it is spoken at a machine gun speed, one gets lost quite easily. It took me over a year to get to a semi normal way of speaking and understand at least one half of what they were saying.

Good dictionaries are hard to find and when you read a text, and find an unfamiliar word, you often open your dictionary and it is not there. Also, most Filipinos are not good translators and when you ask them how to say this or that word in Tagalog, they, quite often, give you a wrong word. You need to ask many people and even consult online groups until you get the word right.

However; the rewards in the end of these tribulations are immeasurable. The way Filipinos view you when your Tagalog is fluent is like nothing I had ever seen in Asia. You become virtually like one of them and they start treating you almost like a Filipino. Abroad, they would immediately call me Kabayan- a “compatriot”. No Japanese or a Thai would say that, though even if I could speak those languages fluently. In a nation like the Philippines which is so ethnically diverse, Tagalog unites various ethnic groups and gives then some kind of common ethnic identity. The people are used to those who speak it with an accent because half of Filipinos do. So, a paleface with a big nose speaking Tagalog evokes a lot of endearment and the reaction is- “oh, even he participates in making our nation –one”.

There are disadvantages to knowing Tagalog as well, and I am not talking about your understanding gossip or what they say behind your back. This rarely bothers me. The main thing is- since I am possibly one of very, very few among the hundreds of thousands of white people in the Philippines who took the time to learn it, the Filipino people annoyingly reply to me in English and it takes five to six sentences and entreaties to make them speak Tagalog to me. When asking directions in Tagalog, I usually get an answer in English. So the daily Tagalog speaking to strangers here can be very frustrating. White people are not supposed to speak Tagalog just like a cat is not supposed to bark. Barking is for dogs; cats meauw. So, my daily goings to different stores, restaurants and other places is a constant struggle to have people just reply to me even with a simple sentence spoken in this Philippine language. The people who know you, do and are Ok; it is the strangers that I have problems with.

This can be a daily scene: I stop by at an internet café and talk with the attendant in Tagalog and her jaw drops. The other attendants turn around with dropped jaws as well and stare at me like I fell from the Moon. Then, a rather naïve battery of questions in Tagalog follows which is always more or less the same:

“Do you speak Tagalog? “

“What I am speaking with you now? Is it Bulgarian?”

“You are speaking Tagalog so well, but why? Is your wife a Filipina?”

“And you are speaking English, is your husband an Englishman?”

“Are you a priest?”

“ Not, not me, you mean a priest with a beautiful girlfriend like that?”

(A blank stare on their part while I declare my “patriotic” allegiance to the Philippine culture and tell them that I am now living in the Philippines and that when a foreigner comes to the Philippines he should try to adjust to the local culture and do things the local way just like a Filipino should do the same when he goes to another country, and why is it they’ve never thought of that and am I doing something wrong?)

“ Tama ka, tama ka” – “You are right, you are right”, and the nods follow.

As far as dating goes, a huge market of girls who cannot speak English well and who do not actively look for foreigners opens up. But, but, but, there is one caveat! You will now be also expected to go native in more ways than you thought.

You see, if you speak only English you will attract girls who are into Western culture, who want to learn American ( or Western ways) and who want to become even more fluent in English and who think that their lives will now improve in many ways by getting to know a “porener”, a “Kano”. They know that the ways of white/foreign/American people are different, and they generally do not expect you to act Filipino. If you are an American, they often want to become as American as you and will accept your shortcomings easily. After all, Americans once ruled their islands and they were generally well received and a huge percentage of Filipinos admires the US and wants to act American, associate with Americans, go to the US, be friends with you, and many girls would love to even tie a knot with you. It is probably one of the most pro American countries on earth. And since to an average Filipina any white (or even black person) is an American, the admiration and smiles extend to Brits, Scandinavians, Sudanese and even Iranians.

Now, the more you speak Tagalog ( or another Philippine language), the more you will be able to deal with the non English speaking sector of the population- the great masses of the working folks, the stratum that is not interested in foreign cultures but the one that is open to those who want to fit in and do things the local way. The sector is huge and your dating and friendship opportunities multiply by millions since this “market” is open only to those who speak the tongue and know how things are done here. But then, you will have to follow the Philippine way of life- which means- total respect to parents and elders, the girls you will be courting are now mostly virgins and they expect you to give them two years to say yes to your wooing endeavors, they will often ignore you and treat you coldly- the way many pretty girls treat their own Filipino suitors. A girl is not supposed to be easy. “You are now just like a Filipino, so I am going to treat you as one”. Which is, often, with smug disinterest and a mocking smile on her face.

Since Filipino people mainly form their ethnic identity based on the language they speak ( there are some 100+ here) they often say-“ He is a Tagalog, He is a Visayan, He is a Waray. He is Kapampangan”. The nickname “Tagalog” stuck to me, and people often call me- “Hey, Tagalog” when I walk by, especially if I am not in a Tagalog speaking province of the country.

I was also once in a Visayan- speaking region of Mindanao- in the city of Butuan, and I was speaking Visayan ( which is far less fluent than my Tagalog) to a group of people. A passer by saw that I was obviously a Westerner and asked them if I could speak Visayan to which they causally replied- “He is a Visayan”, obviously meaning it.

It was kind of pleasant for me to hear it.

There is a hiddent danger, too. If you are short and dark and of Mediterranean descent and speak Tagalog, you may run the risk of being mistaken for a greedy, bloodsucking Indian loanshark –in the Philippines, they call them “Bumbay 5-6”. These speak Tagalog, and are often hassled by cops and immigration and even the common populace who understandably want to beat them up or report them to the immigration office. So, while a tall white Nordic looking American who does not speak Tagalog will be treated with polite deferral, a short, darker American who speaks Tagalog can get harassed and asked to show his visa and even get beat up by a drunk “patriot”. And it is always better to speak English when talking with Filipino police as they will treat you with much more respect as well. Speaking Tagalog to them, on the other hand, may evoke frowns and all kinds of unnecessary questions.

I do remember those days when I could not yet speak the languages of the Philippines, and I think those days were not so bad. I naturally attracted people who wanted to hang out with me and who spoke with me shyly and with a great deal of admiration and in English. Learning Tagalog and Bisaya, later brought greater understanding and acceptance but at the same time, lots of annoyances of the most unexpected kind.

Sometimes, when I look outside, I enviously watch the dignified local Brits, Aussies and Americans, striding confidently with their heads up; who feel so comfortable in the Philippines, who speak only English and whose attempts to utter even one Filipino word are greeted with thunderous applause. They have girls hanging on their arms warbling to them in English, plenty of money and do not seem to have a care in the world. All of their Filipino friends are English speaking, and high class, and they seem to float up there with the elite of elites.

But I cannot unlearn what I have learned and I am now forever doomed to be some kind of encysted appurtenance to this society, getting a great deal of warmth and acceptance of a brotherly kind, but also treated as some sort of a freak; neither fish nor fowl.

Love Me? Love my Culture ( and my Country) Warts and All!

2010-01-01T04:02:00.000-08:00

What many guys do not understand when they go and woo girls from another ethnic, cultural and national background is that they may now be forever tied to that girl's culture and country. It used to be the case in the old days when America was so powerful and other countries weak and backward, that for many people going back home was a logistical impossibility as well as a political and economic impossibility. They had no money, the other countries were dictatorial and would, sometimes, arrest them upon their return there, and America was so advanced in comparison that the wives of American guys would have no choice but become Americanized. They would take roots and just live out their lives in the US becoming first generation Americans ( or first generation immigrants as they would more often be called). Guess what? Surprise, surprise! This is no longer the case. The Internet with instant messaging and inexpensive phone calls as well very quick and affordable international travel will no longer have your wife isolated from her home culture. She will want to go back home often and for you to follow. She will also probably expect you to learn the local food and for you to visit her family often. Her country is no longer the "Ol' Country" whose backwardness she left behind to resettle in the prosperous America, but is now a New Country- a modern, technologically advanced nation with most conveniences you have for modern life Yup! -surprise, surprise!-also, her country now is not such a bad place to live. Actually, often it is cheaper and freeer than the US! So, the days of swaggering GIs bringing back home humbled war brides are mostly over! If you think that by finding a foreign girl, you will be getting a better version of an American girl who will abandon everything back home and just live with you an all American life, you may have fewer such girls to choose from. In most cases, you will now, for the rest of your marriage to her be connected to that country, culture, language and food and will have to put up with the good and the bad thereof. So, before you embark on a journey to find, say a Lithuanian girl, ask yourself- do you think you will like Lithuania? Will you like its language and food? Will you be willing to accept its shortcomings? Will you like the Lithuanian way of life? Because, by connecting your life to the lady, her country, family and culture will now become part of your life as well. For better or for worse. Ask yourself an even better question- will you be willing to resettle in the girl's country if she wants you to do that and abandon America the way you want her to abandon the place where she had grown up? You'd better be ready! This is something few guys think about when they drool over a luscious body and a cute face of a foreign girl.

Do Not Leave Home without a Phrasebook!

2010-01-01T04:01:00.000-08:00

Many travel books teach us what to pack when we go on trips. Do not forget warm clothes, do not forget a first aid kit and bottled water. Do not forget your American Express card. They never ever seem to tell us not to forget a phrasebook. A phrasebook? Yes, a phrasebook, and a dictionary and a translator. That is if you are going to a non English-speaking country ( of whom there are plenty).

I have met many people who complain about the language barrier in a lot of countries they go to to find girfriends, etc. "Oh, I could not talk to the girls, I do not know the language!" Yet, on my travels I rarely saw a guy sitting on a plane or anywhere else and holding a phrasebook or a dictionary in hand and/or studying. It is their business of course, and I am not going to judge them for as being lazy or arrogant or anything, but I seem to be the only one in years upon years and miles around who takes the trouble and the time, and spends the money on buying a phrasebook and a dictionary. But phrasebooks and dictionaries are miraculous tools at overcoming the barrier and establishing language communication in environments where English is not spoken.

I was once in Taiwan and no, I could not speak Chinese because I was there only for one week or so. Yet, I had a Japanese dictionary ( Yes! Japanese and it had Chinese characters in it). I was able to find words in it ,written in "Kanji", and point to them, and managed to spend a night at a karaoke with two Taiwanese girls where I was able to explain myself with signs and a Japanese book! Why can't other guys do that? Imagine if I actually bought a Chinese phrasebook and a dictionary!

You really need very little to communicate and now you have all thes electronic translators where you can type whole phrases and an approximate phrase in a target language comes out. Still with all the recent inventions, I have not seen more than a handful of people anywhere using them. They are out there, buy them! You will be able to overcome the barrier much more effectively.

Buy phrasebooks, dictionaries and translators. Do not leave home without them!

Not Getting Paid- Modern Day Slavery

2009-12-31T02:05:00.000-08:00

One of the most common forms of slavery is not sexual. It is not wage slavery. It is simply when you get hired, do your work, but do not get paid. So. it is a no-wage slavery. Or partial-wage slavery. Or a promised-but-not-fulfilled wage slavery.This is quite common in the Gulf countries, Eastern Europe and even in some Mediterranean countries when workers from poorer nations are hired to do jobs such as those of servants, cleaners and janitors. They just get their passports withheld and then they do not get their salaries. Endless delays to wear them down are the most common strategy. Theoretically, this is very much illegal and these workers have the right under the law to take the employers to court. In reality, this is not practical as you often do not know the language, do not know where to go and complain and often need a lawyer who will not work on contingency basis no matter what. And many times, these workers stay at the quarters provided by employers with food and utilities paid by the latter. So, how can they take that employer to court? And while the judicial inquiry goes on which can take months and/or years, where will they live? On what visas? How will they support themselves while the legal process goes on? By switching jobs? In many cases, the employer needs to give them a release if they want to work someplace else. No release- no new job and no visa. Smart! Another form of slavery is that of unpaid overtime. Some workers are hired to work 8 hour days but are made to work 18 hours instead while being paid for 8 only. Again, the employer holds the passport, sponsors people for the visa and provides food, transportation and housing. Try and argue with him. In many countries strikes are prohibited, so the best you can hope for is to ask the labor department to get involved. But how are you going to do it if they make you work all the time and you do not even have money for the bus to go to the labor department? And they are not open evenings or weekends. And calling them and asking them to come and protect you is again, not practical. And it is not always Bangladeshi gardeners that are turned into slaves. Western employees in Arab countries have not been paid at times as well. I used to work in Thailand where they held my visa but only paid me partially. And many of the contracts are not even worth the paper they are written on and have many twisted clauses protecting the employer. Even if such contracts are illegal, the enforcement of the law by authorities for the sake of a foreign employee in a wacky foreign country is always a big problem and takes a long time, at best. Also, it requires the involvement of lawyers to whom you must pay fees. In advance! Employers know that and act with impunity. And if the worker starts acting up, they just put him on a plane, cancel his visa and get another slave. The tragic thing in many cases is that these people get ripped off by not only the employers but also by agents who promise them jobs. There are placement fees which these poor souls must pay to secure these positions. Many borrow money at high interest rates. They, thus, end up in debt and go home with no money, older, poorer and more tired than before. In the former Soviet republics, non-payment of salaries is as common as rain or snow. Or clouds. Or sparrows. It happens all the time, every day. And suing your employer requires money. And how are you going to sue him if you did not get paid in the first place to pay for the suing. Smart! It all goes to show that while governments can change and new and free democratic leaders get elected, as long as there are assholes somewhere holding power over someone, things will continue just the same. Beware! If you go and work in some shaky country find out about the company as much as possible. Try to find an outfit with a good reputation and that has a Western management. It will at least guarantee more reliable pay and fewer lies. Otherwise, you may end up a modern day slave._________________

The Love Tub

2009-12-29T18:56:00.001-08:00

The Love Tub
“I want you to buy me a love tub,”- one girl whom I had been courting told me with a sly smile as we were riding a taxi down the streets of Manila.
“ A love tub”? “ I did not know you were that romantic and into such lurid things”. We were never intimate, so a request like that came as a surprise.
“Anything for you, girl, but I am kind of surprised. How do you think you will make use of it? Why would you need it? I mean, it’s kind of early, you know. Plus if it comes to such things we can always use one at some hotel”.
“No, I want my own. So we can communicate better”.
“You mean, a love tub would help us communicate better? Ok, I guess, it will make us feel closer in a way”. “Kind of kinky for a nice girl like you”- I thought to myself,” But hey, you seem to be getting bolder and bolder”. “So, do you know of a store that sells those?” I asked her.
“Yes, I know of several stores. They sell some really good love tubs. Some are made by Toshiba, some are made by American companies. Real good technology!”
“Toshiba makes love tubs now, too? I did not know that. Must be really high tech. What are those love tubs equipped with? LCDs? All kinds of consoles, I imagine”.
“Yeah, they even have screens. You can even watch a movie. And do all sorts of things”.
“Man, the technology they have got nowadays!” I began to wonder what kind of movies we could watch together. I tried to visualize us in this hi-tech Japanese jacuzzi with a mounted screen showing x-rated flicks as we were kissing and touching and all. Water bubbling all over. My imagination was now truly going wild. I think the girl is ready!
“Ok, so how much are they? Give me a ball park figure”.
“Oh, between 25,000 to 30,000 pesos. Not much. Actually, we can go to the store now, and I will show you the one that I like”.
The taxi stopped near a large department store, and the girl took me by the hand looking all anxious and excited about her upcoming purchase. Believe me, I was looking forward to it, too. And to the things we would be doing in that love tub. Man, she was hot, and if that what it took to get it on with her, well, so be it!
“Ok, where is the store”? “It is on the second floor. Come , I will show you”. She lead me inside a small store that, strangely, looked nothing like a store selling bathtubs, jacuzzis and things like that. It was…what? A computer store? Why would she take me here? To buy accessories for the hi-tech bubbling love bath?
She finally pointed to something that made my heart sink with shock and disappointment. Man, when would Filipinos learn to pronounce English correctly? She was pointing to a laptop computer. “I want this love tub. The Toshiba love tub”.
She meant a laptop!

Russian as a New Inter-National Language

2009-12-10T03:20:00.000-08:00

The Russian language has been neglected for a long time- especially , since the end of the Cold War its significance as a language of diplomacy and military technology has diminished to the point where very few people were still studying it.
Also, after the break-up of the USSR, newly independent countries tried to disassociate themselves from anything Russian, and began promoting their own languages in science, education, movies etc. However, people who had grown up speaking only Russian for several generations, although not being Russians themselves were so used to using Russian in all aspects of their lives that getting rid of the language proved to be a hard proposition. Kind of like asking Mexicans to forget Spanish and start using Aztec or asking Americans to speak in Apache or Sioux.
Now, 18 years after the resolution of the Union, the countries have cooled down the nationalistic rhetoric and have embraced the language as a way to communicate among themselves. Yes, the initial plan was to forget Russian, speak in Ukrainian or Kazakh and make English the second Language. This has worked to a point in Latvia, and maybe in Estonia. However, in other former Soviet republics, introducing English proved to be very hard. The cultures are just not used to it. America and England and the Anglosphere are way to alien and too far. Even China is closer to the Anglosphere with its Hong Kong and a big ethnic Chinese population in former British colonies. The Chinese for years have been fascinated with anything that is related to the English speaking culture. However, places like Belarus, Kyrgyzstan and Ukraine are so far away from anything English that making them speak it or making them interested in having something to do with the Anglo world is not a quick process. Basically, people did not reject Russian and will be using it more than English from now on, although, in the process, creating a clipped, simplified variety of it, without the fancy and ornate original expressions and the convoluted grammar used by the Russians.
Those who want to learn Russian no longer need to go to Russia. There are now some 120,000,000 speakers of Russian outside of Russia and the number is not really diminishing. In Ukraine for example, you have areas as big as the UK that are only Russian speaking. The government in Kiev passed a law that colleges and universities need to teach in Ukrainian but it was like asking the Scotts to teach in Gaelic- not many people know it properly. So, now everything is taught in Russian and Russian is spoken in daily life. Similar things have happened in the Central Asian republics. Even one half of Baltic capitals are Russian speaking and people have learned to accept the language as a means of inter-republic communication.
Those who want to go to the ex Soviet republics, especially if they are not going to the Baltic republics are well advised not waste their time buying cassettes that teach Turkmen or Kyrgyz. Russian will do just fine. It has become an inter-national language very much like Spanish or French, and a Russophone community embracing many countries has emerged. "Russophone" no longer means "Russian" just as "English-" and "Spanish- speaking" no longer means the person is an Englishman or a Spaniard. Russian is taking its place in the world as a means of communication, and is less and less seen as a hated language of imperialist invaders, but rather, as just as quick way for people to exchange information, in much the same way as any other former colonial language has become a tool for many different nationalities to express themselves to others.

Want Younger Women? Get Ready to Spend and Spend!

2009-09-10T07:54:00.000-07:00

Want younger girlfriends? Get ready to be a daddy!
There is nothing illegal, immoral or fattening about an older guy dating girls within the 18-24 range who are still studying or who want to study. Actually, all around the developing world, many a young lady is dreaming of finding an older guy who is stable and kind and who can help her out with her studies, keep her off the streets and put her through school. Because, I am serious, if she does not meet a nice guy who can help her out, pimps can often get her and turn her into a hooker. Or , at best, she will just end up becoming a maid or a waitress somewhere. And marry a poor local guy and get old. That is not what she often wants to happen to her.
There are also medical costs that she may not be able to meet if she gets sick, clothes that she cannot buy and other such things. Some girls are lucky- they have responsible fathers and older brothers, some are not. The ones who are not, are often looking for a foreign boyfriend who can take the helm of her life into his hands and provide. The way men used to back in the old days even in the 1st World.
So, if you want to meet a real cute young lady who will be faithful and kind and you are much older than her, you will have few problems finding one in the so-called Second and Third Worlds. Maybe, secretly, you wish to have two or three such girlfriends? In some countries it may be possible as long as you provide.
So, what is the deal? Well, after you have spent a few months in total extasy of the First Love(s) revisited, you will realize that you have gotten yourself a daughter more than anything else. Or a couple of daughters each with a life full of problems that most young people go through- emotional immaturity and instability, inability to budget money or understand how money works, period; naivite, lack of life experience and communication skills all through no fault of her own- she (or they) just do not know any better because she/they is/are so young!
And more than anything else, get ready to spend a lot of money even if the girl is living in a cheap country. She needs dental treatment, she needs clothing, she needs to be hooked up to the Internet, she needs a cellphone and she needs a regular allowance because she still cannot earn a living while studying. She needs books ,and if the girl is in Ukraine or Russia, she is gonna be needing a lot of winter clothing. Cellphones get lost or stolen, teeth start acting up again, a girl gets sick for real and needs to check into a hospital. She starts missing you and wants you to fly over and stay in her country/town. Or she wants to visit you in some third country. Aren’t you flying over for her birthday? Aren’t you coming over for the New Year? And guess who is going to be footing the bill for the party/ies? And what about the holiday shopping?
Airplane tickets, hotels, visas, taxis, trains, it all starts adding up faster than you can say WTF!
Your own life is unpredictable and forever expense-generating; imagine adding another, younger, person’s life to yours, and all the unexpected expenses that can pop up in her life! Or in ‘their’ lives if you think you can handle multiple girlfriends. You’d better have a good job that will allow you to maintain such a lifestyle. Because often, you will be spending and spending up the ying yang!
Some guys can get away with being thrifty and still maintaining a younger girlfriend or two, but the older you get , the more money you will end up spending. A 51 year old man with a 22 year old girlfriend will, more often than not, be blowing more money on her than a 32 year old man with the same 22 year old.
In some cases, if the girl is a single mom with a kid, you will not only become a daddy; you will become a granddaddy!
In the Western World, a big age difference is only acceptable if you are a famous singer, a Hollywood actor , a media mogul or a senator. Average men, though, must date someone within 5-9 year age difference at the most; in a sickening contrast, if Western men are gay, they can be as old as 60 and have an 18 year old boyfriend, and society will accept it as OK. In the 2nd and 3d worlds, things are different. Usually, a man’s age simply does not matter in heterosexual relationships, and society does not condemn him or the couple. It is their business, after all.
But, by and large, if you want to partake in inter-generational relationships, get ready to be a father more than anything else. A father that can take care of his newly found “daughter” because, to all intents and purposes, it will feel like it after a very short time. And get ready to spend a lot of time as well ,teaching her how to live her life, how to treat people, how to behave, how to budget and how to be emotionally and financially stable. If the girl wants to attend college, it will take 2-5 years before she can stand on her own two feet. Are you ready to support her dreams to be a nurse or a computer programmer?
A younger girlfriend is a big friggin' responsibility!

Tripping with Hemorrhoids at 30,000 '

2009-06-21T06:11:00.000-07:00

What karmic punishment is this? I have to fly from Los Angeles to Riyadh Saudi Arabia via Hong Kong on April 16, 2009. And I have to get to LAX from Palm Springs prior to that. And two days before that, probably due to my trip to Mexico and lots of spicy foods while there and driving for hundreds of miles, I develop an enormous hemorrhoid the size of a giant cherry (and probably the same color as it). The thing is hurting me no end, there is temperature and terrible pain when I go to the bathroom. So, I go see a doctor and he prescribes me a host of suppositories, cream and a powerful painkiller with some kind of narcotic substance in it. $138 later and a $250 taxi ride to LAX- I spent most of my time lying down on the back seat- I walk with straddled legs across the building and board a plane bound for Hong Kong. It is full and they give me a seat with my back to the wall and people on both sides. I cannot recline the seat and I have 16 hours ahead of me. When they serve food, it is very hard for me to leave the seat if I want to.

Anyway, I have been applying the cream and sticking the suppositories in there and then, there was this goo coming out of me and dirtying my briefs and pants. Scary stuff! And the pain is absolutely unbearable. I cannot even recline my seat as it is in the very back row. Talking about torture! 16 hours are ahead of me. So, what do I do? I take painkillers. Like lots of them! The pain goes away and along with it, my consciousness. I drift into a drug-induced semi sleep. Everything around me floats. I discover that I have www.youtube.com in my head. All the songs that I had listened to are stored in my brain. I can retrieve them and play them with voice and accompaniment. I can go back and do the fast forward with them. Amazing! I start listening to one song after another. My brain has stored every song like a giant biological MP3 machine. Very instrument plays. All I have to do is think about it. Time disappears. I drift off into another, deeper sleep. Or is it a trip? I see another world - lakes, forests, lots of greenery around. I wake up in Hong Kong a year later, so it seems. Please do not let this fantasy end.

At the HK airport I rent a short time hotel, my eyes are all bloodied and I look like a junkie. I admit that I enjoyed the experience., though and am looking forward to some more subscription drug tripping. The drug is beginning to wear off. The pain is coming back. I go to the bathroom several times to apply more suppositories and cream. Nasty stuff! Then, I pop a few more pills, and the pain slowly goes away. I again drift away into uneasy sleep. They wake me up. I walk to the Riyadh- bound plane. Sit down and pop a few more pills. Another trip begins. I start my youtube.com playing again. Man, those songs sound good. I can hear every note. I can tune the voices to fit my pleasure, adjust the volume to enormous strengths. It is deafening now. I can play back and fast forward again. I listen to every possible song and program/documentary I had heard before. Amazing! My brain has stored all of them and can retrieve them at will any time I want. Then, I feel that something has happened and there is no longer any pressure in my rectal area. The hemorrhoid has popped! I get up and see a red stain on the seat. I began to bleed when I was asleep and I am still bleeding.

We have a stopover in Bahrain and I walk off the plain like a menstruating woman with an enormous dark stain in between my legs and buttocks. Totally disgusting. I arrive in Riyadh well rested and ride a taxi to my compound. The seat becomes stained with my blood. The taxi driver is sympathetic. He, having experienced hemorrhoids because of his sedentary lifestyle knows what I am going through.

It took another two weeks for the inflammation to subside and for the thingie to disappear completely. The whole thing was totally unneeded and uncalled for.
What did I learn from this experience? I guess not to eat spicy foods before going on trips and not to drive for miles and miles before you need to fly. Walk a lot. Avoid stress. Anyway, avoid hemorrhoids at all costs especially when you need to fly half way around

Russian Entertainers and Hookers in South East Asia.

2009-04-24T08:23:00.000-07:00

Russian Erotic Entertainers in Asia- Coals to New Castle? I don’t think so.

Fulfilling Asian Men’s ” American” fetish.

In Bangkok, Manila and other Asian cities one can see Russian girls working in nightclubs as entertainers and pole dancers. Escort companies there also routinely feature Russian girls as call girls. Why, would you ask , people would pay some $12- 20 per lady’s drink for the privilege to sit in a bar next to a girl when here are so many local girls around? Why would local men dish out two months' salary for one session with a Russian hooker when they are drowning in the sea of the most beautiful hookers around, coming from their own countries. Not all Russian girls are young and beautiful, many are 30+ and matronly looking, some are stocky and resemble locomotive drivers. So, what is the attraction?

I have my own theory and that is- they are there to fulfill the Asian men’s “American” dream. Their Hollywood dream. Their unreachable, unattainable yearning to have an American woman, one of those they have been watching on TV since their childhood. Brook Shields. Raquel Welch. Britney Spears. The Baywatch girls. The girls in American soap operas that they have been drooling over.

In Most of SE Asia and even East Asia, the words “white”, “American” and “foreigner “are synonymous. A white person is always from America and an American is always white.

“Foreigner” is usually an American and an American is always a foreigner. While white men have been known to go to South East Asia to get local women, few SE Asian men have been known to date/ have sex with/marry white American women. Brook Shields will not come to Manila to get a boyfriend. Britney Spears is not visiting Bangkok in search of her Prince Charming. SE Asian men who did go to the USA to study almost never were able to score with tall, aggressive and masculine American women. It is just such a mismatch! So, the yearnings of a 5’5” , even a successful Thai( or other SE Asian) man to meet and have sex with a white American woman is usually an unattainable and infulfillable fantasy.

That it was, until the fall of the USSR.

Enter Natashas from the Russian Far East. The Vladivostok area. The “California” of Russia. These, mostly blond girls, have discovered that they enjoy Goddess-like popularity when they come to Bangkok or Manila or other such SE Asian capitals. Local men shake when they touch them. They cover their hands in kisses their whole bodies trembling with excitement. They can’t believe their luck. The Brady Bunch girl has come down from the TV screen and they are now looking at her and she is standing in front of them. The unreachable star, the American woman, Britney Spears, Bo Derek, a Playboy centerfold. And yes, if the money is right, you can sleep with her. Will you pay $200 an hour? Hell, yes! Even my life’s savings, just to have the old longing fulfilled!

Paunchy, 5’4”, 55 year old Thai generals who have accumulated fortunes through corruption and bribery are having their dreams fulfilled- they are slobbering over the bodies of these white demi-godesses, these “ Americans’. Heck, an American, a Russian, a Brit, all honkeys look the same. They don’t know the difference. So, they pay and pay and pay!

As a result, you have Russian girls who after a year, leave sin cities of the Orient with thick wads of dollars, enough to retire on in their small Siberian village. All because of the sexy presentation of white women by Hollywood and because to an average SE Asian man, these are “Americans”. Lol. Ignorance is bliss. To these girls’ that is.

So, unknowingly, sexy American movies beamed into SE Asian homes have helped hundreds, no, thousands of Russian girls accumulate small fortunes by filling the white fetishist sexual needs of SE Asian men.

Brilliant!

The Bourgeois (you) vs. the Peasants (your wife and her family).

2009-03-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

Many first-worlders, upon migrating to the Third World and getting a local girlfriend or wife, often discover that she does not know how to budget money, goes through the husbands/boyfriends’ allowance like it was water , and her family also keep asking the husband for money and other types of financial help. When the help is given, the money is promptly spent on seemingly nonsense things, and more requests for help start coming. “The people just do not seem to have basic financial literacy”, the first-worlder realizes. Then he starts talking about “cultural differences” and the “culture” shock.

The shock is really not about “culture”, but social class. It is all about the long standing “peasant versus the bourgeois” conflict, as the two classes have been clashing since cities had been established way back when. A city dweller did not have land, had to pay rent or city taxes; had to budget and value money as a precious resource. He had nothing else, really, unless he was a landlord, but even then, money had to be budgeted because of all kinds of expenses. A peasant, on the other hand, often could live off the fat of the land while money was secondary because it would always be there sooner or later as the result of the land giving him its wealth. The two classes could never relate to each other- the peasant would have many children who would then help in his agricultural activities, the city dweller could only afford a few, the peasant was generous with money and shared it among the members of his family and expected the new members of the family (new husbands and wives) to pool money together for the common good. The peasant would ask the bourgeois for money, but often could not pay it back because he had never learned how to manage finances the way city folks do.

The peasant thus perennially accuses the bourgeois of being stingy and greedy, of being selfish and cold-hearted, while the bourgeois keeps accusing the peasant of being a profligate and a bumbling provincial fool.

In the 1st world, peasants have long since become “farmers”, and, slowly, adopted the city ways of budgeting, had smaller families, and, pretty much, became “rural bourgeois” with now, very few differences in mentality between them and their urban counterparts. However, in the so called ‘developing’ countries, the peasant mindset is still very strong even though many former peasants now live in the cities: they have large families, they do not have money saved up, they do not know how to budget and often appear to behave in impractical, provincial ways. If the country is tropical, and harvest can be gathered all year around, the peasant classes appear even more indifferent to money, more relaxed and care-free, and less respectful of the Western bourgeois ways of doing things. Upon marrying a beautiful (peasant) girl, the American or other Western husband soon discovers just how irresponsible she can behave with his money and how disrespectful the whole family is of what he has- they expect him to buy them things- buy food, buy houses and buffaloes, and also help with medical bills. Haven’t they heard of medical insurance? They have not, apparently. What did the father think when he was making a family of twelve which he now cannot feed? He thought nothing. He just obeyed his “thirst”.

They are peasants, man. They hoped that land would take care of them. As it had for millennia.

So, a Western man runs into all kinds of confrontations, gets called a “cheap Charlie”
and gets accused of having no pity when he refuses to share his hard earned money with an enormous extended household. Then, he starts complaining about “cultural incompatibilities “between Americans and Thais or Canadians and Filipinos or even Japanese and Indonesians. But this is not about culture, man, it is about ‘class’. Unwittingly now, you are participating in class misunderstandings and class struggle but on a very miniature scale. Karl Marx revisited.

Had you chosen a real city girl, whose family has lived in the city for generation, and who knows the city ways of doing things, you would rarely have such problems, but city girls are often stuck up, unfriendly, and do not have the “warm heart” of the peasant. So, a man is stuck in a dilemma that is hard to solve. Some simply prefer not to marry into any family although some do get lucky and end up with a good urban wife. Good for them! Some succeed at training the rurally-minded girl in the intricacies of budgeting and manage to keep the money hungry other members of her clan away, or negotiate for smaller allowances. Different people deal with it differently. Some just can’t hack it, and end up leaving the country complaining about not being able to adapt to local “culture”. But few ever realize that what they come up against has nothing to do with culture, but is, basically, the thousand year old conflict between the rustic hicks and the city slickers which has been very much alive and well in the developing countries up till now, which has not yet gone away and which will, probably, still not go away for a long, long time.

Never Happened to Me, and, If it Happened to You, It is Because You Are an A**hole!

2009-03-20T08:17:00.000-07:00

Never Happened to Me, and, If it Happened to You, It is because you are an A**hole!

This is probably a most boring topic to discuss, and I kept postponing talking about it, but I will still publish it, albeit very briefly. When different expats talk about the countries they live in , some begin to relate the tales of some kind of abuse at the hands of the locals, while others arrogantly exclaim-“ it never happened to me”, or, “I never had any problems”. “Those things happened to you because you were an a**hole”. “The people there are great, the country is great”. “I love it, never any kind of problem”.

I for one, find Japan to be a very difficult place to live because of extreme xenophobia and the fact that most landlords will not allow foreigners to settle there. I myself tried to look or an apartment there, and it was like looking for an apartment in a white area of Alabama with you being a black man looking. It was a very traumatic experience for me, actually, one of the most traumatic ones in my life.

However, I met other guys who had lived in Japan all their lives and they grin from ear to ear and state with smiling confidence- “Never had any problems! My landlady was great! I have thousands of friends there. The people are super nice. I am married to a Japanese. The girls there love foreigners, the people are super hospitable! If those things happened to you, it is because the problem is YOU. YOU are the A**HOLE!” Our conversation is thus finished.

The same goes for crime and things of that nature. I have been to certain countries where I was robbed, beaten, and the same happened to other people that I know. Some guys I knew got rolled over, cheated by business partners and had to leave by doing an instant flight in the night-and I did, too after a company did not pay me my salary and could not get me a visa. Again, when I post that on the internet on some bulletin board, I get attacked- “You racist! That never, ever happened to me! I have been here for 20 years and never had any problems. The problem is YOU! You are the stupid a**hole that is why people treat you bad like this!”

Even if I bring out the topic of different parts of the US and how I do not like living there, again I have people attack me. I find New England to be extremely boring, for one. I never had any friends there, and I understand it takes a long time to make them, in some places, over a decade. I have lived there, I know. But, again, the “you are the a**hole, that is why you can’t get along with people there” argument comes up when I start talking to various individuals about it.

The reverse is also true. I had a friend, a French guy who went to live in a tropical paradise of a country. He always complained on me that he could not get a date. I, on the other hand was tripping over dates and had no problem whatsoever. He was rich and good looking, and he cold not understand why he was having such a hard time there.

The “ it never happened to me; therefore, it is not true and if it does happen at all or, if it does, it is the victim’s fault” is a sophistic, fallacious and stupid way to prove a point. Can you imagine coming back from Iraq and attending a funeral of a soldier who had fallen in battle there and smugly saying to the widow of the warrior- “Oh, I was in Iraq, too, and it never happened to me. He must have just been an a**hole, that is why he got shot”.

There is however, a combination of factors that decide what destiny will befall the expat in a certain place. These factors are as follows:
1) the general attitude of the locals towards his/her kind people, meaning nationality/race or what you are perceived to be. One would not want to be an American expat in an Al Qaeda –controlled area of Iraq, for one. Yeah, ‘it never happened to you’ but you are gonna get your ass killed pretty soon if you don’t get the hell out of that place like right now, and yes, you are the stupid idiot to be there, although the Al Qaeda people are not exactly angels, either. And yes, trying to get a date there is not desirable. You will get shot, for sure. On the other hand of you are in a safe place as Japan, are of handsome appearance with a good job and proper introductions into the right circles, with the company paving the way for your future life there, you should be OK. If where you and what you are lies somewhere in between, the results would be mixed and varied.
2) Your other physical appearance is another factor. A very big one. Your neatness or the way you dress and move is another one. A nervous person who is in a hurry and has no time is normal in the UK, but is seen as a nuisance in warmer, more relaxed and tropical areas. An intellectual person is well received in South America but is seen as an irritation in Thailand. Some cultures like well-dressed people, some like those who are casual, some appreciate that you speak the language, and some see it as an affront to their culture. Some like talkative people and some, discreet and silent ones. All of those factors decide how you will be perceived. And, of course, in every country, they do not like poor people but like people with money.
3) Your own positive/negative attitude and your perception of things. How good are you at taking and dealing with bullsh*t? How patient are you? A positive attitude will not save you from Al Qaeda’s RPGs, though, I can guarantee you that. It will also not save you from getting your ass kidnapped or being sentenced to death if you, say, try and teach a wrong religion in a wrong area. However, if you are a naïve person ( yes, it can be a plus) who does not have to depend on anyone financially, who does not learn the language, you may have a pretty good time because you will not understand what the people are saying, and will only hear English spoken to you, and usually the locals will not be able to curse you out in English.
If you are not a person who is well aware of his environment, you may mistake scornful smiles for hospitality, and, if you like to minimize your contact with the locals to only a few people you know, then it is also a plus. Usually, those who keep to themselves and limit their activities in society o buying things and services seem to be the happiest anywhere. Ignorance is bliss.
Negative people, who like to see bad things around them and, subconsciously, even look for them, will find other things to complain about when they are abroad. However, one should not blame all bad things that can happen to them on their negative attitudes. The people outside are also a variable in the equation.

4) How well can you “feel” the local ways of doing things, the language, know of dangers and benefits, how well do you understand the reality there, and how basically street smart are you?. That is a very, very important factor. How prepared are you to react to different things happening here? How mature? How wise are you in dealing with their ways and in surviving in that environment?

5) The amount of time you have been there. Yeah, if you are in a place for two weeks and you have money, you will probably think it is the best thing since sliced bread. But if you start doing business there and working or staying there longer and dealing with the local bureaucracy, corruption and your skin is not thick enough, you may not like it anymore. I have been to many places on vacation, but once I tried actually living there I understood why so many locals like to emigrate from the country.

5) The overall most important factor of all is luck, luck, luck. Its presence or lack of it will be the decisive factor in how things will turn out for you. In fact, I think 60% of all your experiences there, and how things will work for you in your new place depend on your supply of luck. Without luck, even if you are positive, things can go bad, you can run into some very bad elements, and suffer injury, being swindled, meet with deceit and even your premature death without doing anything particularly unusual. Are you in the country at the right time? Are you in the right place at the right time there? Luck is a crucial thing. How do you get luck? Well, we all have our ways. Some people get it through meditation, some through religion, whatever. Get some luck!

Depending on the combination of the above things, your experience in any place will be either mostly positive, or, mostly negative. What can I advise? I don’t really know. It depends. Do not always complain without doing something or asking someone for advice, learn to deal with things, or, if the negative outweighs the positive, leave for a while and come back with a fresh new attitude, and more money , skills, etc. Also, try not to be smug if you have been having a good time, but other people have run into hard times. Be supportive, do not declare them to be a**holes. Otherwise, what has not yet happened to you, may just happen if you keep bragging about what a big, lucky shot you are.

2009-03-16T07:54:00.000-07:00

***
I stopped going to brothels after this experience: there was one that had a bar in the front to buy drinks and a karaoke machine. There was also this very cute girl who looked so sad and she was sitting among other hookers, obviously new, and I invited her for a drink and to sing. At random, I chose a song and it turned out to be “Sunrise Sunset”. The lyrics in it were about how a father is seeing his son and daughter grow up and now they are now ready to be married off. He is both sad that his children are about to leave home and start their new lives, as well as proud at the same time. He sings “Sunrise, sunset, quickly go the years”… “is this the little girl I carried, is this the little boy I loved…?”. I started singing the song, and then, a horrible truth stung me. If my father saw me in the whorehouse, or my mother, they would probably exclaim in terrible surprise and disappointment- ‘Is this the little boy I loved?” And if the parents of that girl huddling in shame in a brothel, in the strange, heartless, big city, driven by poverty to selling herself to sweaty tourists saw her, they would also exclaim in abomination: “is this the little girl I carried?” in shock.

Just thinking about the circumstances that make some people become customers and some- service providers in this controversial industry; following the chain of causes and effect as well as knowing that somewhere there are parents who wonder where we, their kids are now, made me very upset. I paid for the drinks and left without tempting myself with other services.

I have never visited a brothel after that day again.

***

A Little known favour of Hollywood to White Men.

A lot has been said about how Hollywood vilifies Arabs and makes Asian men look effeminate. However, if you are white, you should be grateful for the advertisement Hollywood has made for you around the non white world. In Asia, in particular, people grow up on US TV shows that slowly, repeatedly drive these subliminal messages into the minds of Asian people ( and particularly women) there:

White people = Americans
Americans = White people
White men= American men
American men=White men
White men= American men= rich, handsome, heroic, noble, courageous, gentlemanly.
American men=White men =good husbands, boyfriends, sexy, kind, caring, loving, treating women like princesses.
American men= White men= successful, and provide security.
American men=White men= Western men are a boon for a poor Asian girl whom they save from poverty and take to the Land of Milk and Honey- America. Or settle in her land and buy a big house and they have cute mixed kids that go to International Schools and the girl does not have to work now.
American men= White men= saviours of the underdog, always smiling, always so friendly and open. Faithful, warm, perfect human beings.

A young Asian girl (or anyone else, for that matter) who grew up on “Dallas” or “Orange County” or “Days of our Lives”, beamed by satellite into her poor home in Indonesia, Philippines, Cambodia, Burma, etc, has the above illusion so firmly carved in her mind and is so completely brainwashed and programmed to see white men as described above, will react accordingly when she sees you arrive.

Yup, here comes you, an Aussie, a Brit, a New Zealander, or even a poor Bosnian , Albanian, Lithuanian, who happens to be in that part of the world, and yes, you will receive very warm smiles coming your way. The associations in their minds will be triggered, which, in turn, will trigger wonderment, abundant joy of seeing a super human, a huge smile, a hug and, very soon, a possible declaration of love. A Slovak, a South African Boer, and a wretched Moldovan is an “American man” to tens of millions of people there, and he possesses the Godlike characteristics enumerated in my descriptions above.

All white people, upon arriving in those lands, automatically become “Americans!”

In the Philippines, in particular, the love and admiration for Americans ( read white people) runs deep not only because US movies and TV shows are very popular there, but also, because Americans liberated the Philippines from the Japanese aggression in World War II. Many a valiant Marine and other GI Joe lay his life for the freedom of that country. Because of that, when an American appears in that country, especially if he goes to rural areas, he is cheered with “ Hi ,Joe!” (GI Joe) and afforded great honour and welcome. However, the joyful greeting reserved for Americans is also bestowed upon Germans, Lebanese Arabs and Poles and whoever else looks like Americans. When the locals see, say, a Polish guy travelling there, crowds come out from their village homes chanting” Amerikano! Amerikano!” while waving and smiling. Meeting a hero, a liberator, a rich and gallant man, a “Tom Cruise” is a very rare occasion. Girls give you those “come hither” looks, blow you kisses, and people invite you to parties because your mere presence is a great honour to them. The older generation will see you as John Wayne and remember the times when you defended them against the evil aggressor.

But you are a German from Stuttgart whose grandfather had died on a beach at Normandy, killed by an American bullet. No matter. Ja Ja, mein herr, you are an American now! Deal with it. Resistance is futile.

As I was travelling in those parts, I found out that there were Poles, Albanians, Bulgarians, Romanians, all hailed as heroes because of American TV shows , the American war heroes and the wildly exaggerated stereotypes of the US super-human-ness. And, of course, the gorgeous females who fell in love with these handsome “Americans” were probably the most important reason for their travel to those places to begin with.

There is a Philippine saying- “Basta puti- Kano”-“if you are white, you are an American”. Hello, Hans, Ivan and Ahmed, welcome to your honorary US citizenship, courtesy of the tens, no, hundreds of smiling locals who are dying to befriend you. No use trying to explain to them you are not an American- all white people are Americans, all countries where white people live are part of America. End of the story, case closed. Enjoy your new nationality and all the benefits that come with it.

But of course, the Philippines is not the only place where American = White men are preferred. In Korea, in Taiwan, they like to hire white men to teach English even if they are not Americans. Who cares, they look like Americans. Good enough! In Some Middle Eastern countries, White South Africans are becoming a very popular substitute for expensive American medical professionals. In a hospital in a big Gulf city, the rich Arab patients are happy to see a Western man – an “American” doctor or radiologist who will treat them, but he is just an Afrikaner from Joeburg.

Who cares? If he looks like one, if he quacks like one- speaks English, that is, he must be one. Simple. No use to argue. He is a white man = he is an American man.

So, if you want to know the joy and benefit of being an American, if you want to be seen as something above human, an almost a demigod, there are plenty of locations around the world, so brainwashed by Hollywood that they will bestow a Donald Trump- like status to you, even if you are a poor Serbian who could never get a visa to even enter the EU never mind US citizenship.

In the tragic opposite twist of this mass madness, Black Americans who have been in the US since 1600s , Hispanic guys from the South West, Apaches, Inuits, and Asian guys from San Francisco, will discover to their horror that they are now not Americans at all, while some Hungarian tourist is.

Oh, isn’t life a mother….er!

Sometimes, stereotypes can be used in your favour and people’s deluded views can be a foundation of your great status and abundant social life because of a bizarre and an insane, Hollywood –induced, mega-mass case of mistaken identity.

How Can They Tell?

2009-03-14T06:45:00.000-07:00

***
If you are in South East Asia as a tourist, and happen to pick up a bar girl and take her out on a date, you will quite often get smirks and, sometimes, looks of disgust from the locals. If the girl is not a bar girl, the scornful looks and haughty stares will be only 10% of what it would be if you were with a lady of the night. Even if the bar girl does not engage in prostitution, the locals will immediately identify her as one by many things unseen to you. They seem to have a knack for telling who is a bar girl and who is not. The look in the eyes, the body movements; the dress, the make up, even the change in the complexion are very obvious.

Plus, there is a certain something, an aura of sorts that they can pick up on right away, and it is a thing that I still cannot explain. What they can see is what a normal Westerner cannot. Not only that- many a South East Asian man can tell if a girl is a virgin or not through some sixth sense, and they say that one can see virginity or lack thereof if one looks into the pupils of the eyes. Plus, the way a woman behaves towards a man, any man is a dead give away even if she tries to act in a demure way. There is a body language that we may not be aware of, and even a certain smell. Some girls, who have been intimate with a man, may still “exude” male pheromones and reek of male sweat no matter how many showers they have taken. The smell is very find but with a sharp nose local guys can smell it.

After having lived in that part of the world and having met quite a few females, you, too, will be able to develop the sense for that sort of thing. In my case, by now I can be some 95% accurate in telling if a girl is a bar girl or not and some 80% accurate in telling if she is a virgin. It is a combination of many minute telltale signs that I still cannot put a finger on.

Once I persuaded a very decent girl who was working in a bar to quit and return to school. She needed only a small amount of money- some $50, to be able to attend school. I set a date to meet her in a department store, and immediately noticed the spiteful and disgusted looks of the people around us. There was something they could feel, sense, see or smell about her that told them she had come from a bar. Later, when we met after some time, a couple of months, to be exact, and she had been out of the bar, the bad aura had now seemed to be gone; she was walking “normal” and talking “normal” and dressed OK, and no one was even giving us a second look. I guess, just as the girls accumulate that bad “halo” over their heads, so they can lose it and have a good aura hang over them again when they get back into society and stay among regular people again for some time.

The longer they had been in the bar, the longer it takes to get rid of the negative ‘image-over’, and get back to their old pre-bar selves. A truly interesting socio-psychological phenomenon that is worth being studied further.

Prayer Duration

2009-03-13T08:12:00.001-07:00

***

If you live in Saudi Arabia, prayer time is a very important aspect of daily life there. Stores and just about any kinds of businesses close for prayers. Some PDAs now, and some cell phones that you can buy there have prayer time shown on their dials and screens. Otherwise, you can get prayer times from local newspapers. Your daily activities have to be scheduled around, and, in between those prayers. The best time to go shopping is after the second morning prayer, which gives you roughly four hours and after the last prayer which also gives you some 2-4 hours to shop. If it is not possible to do your business in those hours, then, when the prayer takes place, you should just sit down and relax, or you can go to a nearby hotel and wait until it finishes.
A natural question would be- “How long does each prayer last? “ If you ask the locals about that, they will tell you “10 minutes to 20 minutes”. However, keep in mind that while the prayer itself is that long, the actual time the businesses close for is usually 35-50+ minutes. People need to close the stores, walk to the place of worship, do their ablutions (washing their faces, hands, and feet), do the prayer itself, then do a few other formalities and then, go back to the store. So, yup! 35-50 minutes is the norm. Be patient and wait those prayers out in some quiet place if you do not share the religion of the people there.
Hotels are exempt from closing, usually, but even inside of hotels some religious people will sometimes shut the doors of gift shops and leave for the duration of the religious service.

Misc March 09 II

2009-03-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

If you are a young man in his twenties or even thirties and are contemplating expatriating, you may learn of an interesting fact of life or a possibility thereof- your future wife may not even have been born yet. Yes, it can happen so that you may not get married until you are in your late forties or even early fifties because older men are sought after in many a country as husbands. So, if you are twenty four now, you may be forty-six by the time you are ready to marry your twenty-two year old fiancée. Or, if you are thirty now, you may be ready to marry your twenty- year old girlfriend by the time you are fifty. Time flies, you know.

***

Bringing in your girlfriend/wife to the West can take a couple of years and involve interviews, mountains of paperwork, medical test, police clearances and other such things that can put a damper on any relationship. Fortress Europe and fortress America make it so difficult for you to marry people from poorer countries that it can simply drive you wild. Some people prefer to just start families in the countries of the wife, not the husband.
How much harder it may be for those who have different sexual orientations! Thailand, for example, is quite a place for Western lovers of alternative lifestyles to find willing partners. However, while bringing a Thai lady to the West is a big headache, bringing a Thai man to the West by another man is a virtual impossibility. I have heard a story about an American man who tried to bring his gay partner to the US, but all visa avenues were closed to him. Obviously, a fiancée visa was out of the question and similarly, a marriage petition could not be arranged, either. So, the American man went off the deep end,: he bought the guy a ticket to Mexico, arranged for him to be transported to Tijuana and then, sent the poor Thai boy across the border with a bunch of illegal workers in a coyote’s van. Miraculously, the lover arrived in Los Angeles where they were tearfully reunited. Unfortunately, the Thai man did not like the diversity of Southern California and the fact that huge numbers of people did not speak English there. After some time, he decided to head back to Thailand and the union was dissolved.
In most cases though, same sex partners choose to live in places that are easier to get to, such as the third world place where the other lover is from. They simply have no choice. Some choose to train the men in some profession for which a work visa could be obtained, but the while thing is an enormous can of worms. Those with alternative persuasions are better off looking for their better half in countries for which there are not that many visa restrictions- Japan, Singapore, W.Europe.

***

If you belong to an unpopular nationality, you may have to lie about it. Nothing wrong with that. If people are bigoted against your kind, they deserve to hear untruths. An Iranian guy in the US chose to simply never tell anyone he was Iranian and it worked. He just told people he was Greek. He was in Texas and the “scheme” worked. People believed him.

An American in some place where Americans are not popular can become a Canadian. A German may choose to be a Dutchman, a Russian can become a Slovenian. One Danish guy that I knew went to work in Saudi Arabia but Muslims do not like Danes because of those silly cartoons that infuriated the entire Islamic world in 2005-06. So, he just tells them he is an American. It is actually better to be an American than a Dane in Saudi Arabia now. And unless you are facing a policeman or an actual immigration officer stops you, you should lie if your life, social or biological depends on it. Choose a country that has people with a similar look and accent, but that is neutral and you will be able to get away with it in the 99% of cases. That is again if it does not involve employment, immigration or actual police encounter. That is just survival, nothing else. It is not bad to tell lies if you are faced with evil, prejudiced people.

***

If you meet a young lady online, do not fall in love with her completely and commit yourself to her until you have met her in person. She may have some unpleasant characteristics/habits that you may not like, but it may be too late to extricate yourself without causing major grief and inconvenience. I have met some ladies who, upon meeting me in person, had very bad breath and some had a very ugly torso which I could not see on webcam- in other words, their figures were not what I wanted to have in a partner. One had excessive facial hair- almost like a beard, which I did not see in photos because the hair was too transparent. Yech! Some had bad habits which I would not care to describe – oh well, maybe I would describe just two- one lady liked to urinate in the shower bay- a big turn off for me. This other lady could not control her intestinal gas and would release it regularly while in my company. It made me want to puke.

So, do not pour out your emotions too much just because your hormones are acting up. Go and see her in person. Otherwise, you will end up wasting a lot of time (yours and hers) and a whole lot of money, plus you can hurt yourself and that person if you will find that she is not for you, but you have already made all these promises and even proposed to her. It can become a truly awkward and uncomfortable situation if you are not careful and hurry too much. So take your time and control your emotions. See her in person and spend some time together. For your sake and hers.

***

In poorer countries, as a rule, finding a decent love partner is harder for women than for men, in richer countries, finding love is harder for men than for women. There are more lonely miserable ladies or ladies with bad husbands in third world countries and more happily married men there, and there are more unhappy, lonely men or divorced and henpecked men in first world countries. Travel and you will see.

***

Success books are cool, I like reading them. They talk about making goals, visualizing and going for it. But there are some wacky ideas in them, too. For example, the idea that poverty is created in the mind and if we think we are prosperous we would become prosperous. Now, I have a question- with the present economic crisis gripping the world, do the people have to take responsibility for it as in “ we were too negative and thought poor thoughts” and now the world economy is collapsing”. I say bull! Quite he contrary, people were just way too positive. Also, let’s look at two countries located side by side- Iraq and Kuwait. Kuwait has a lot of oil and the people are totally spoiled by all the riches there. Right across the border is Iraq, and you know the shape that Iraq is in. Are you going to tell me that it is because Kuwaitis in some ways are more positive than Iraqis and they just attract better fortune? That the British who partitioned that part of the world to make sure Kuwait gets a big chunk of it have nothing to do with it? Give me a break!
Go to South of Sudan and watch kids with bloated bellies feeding of leaves from trees. These kids d not even know what positive and negative is, so are you going to tell me that the poverty is in their minds?

Plus a lot of these books were written by citizen of rich democratic countries that have many opportunities available for all and equal rights for everybody. What if you live in some screwed up dictatorship where you belong to some social group that has no legal rights, cannot qualify for government help, bank loans, are forbidden by law ask for benefits and are stuck in a limbo somewhere? Think Kosovo in 1999.

What if the country has no money to fund education and is run by a cruel junta that will shoot you if you protest? What if you happen to be in some besieged area with bullets flying all over you? What opportunities are there? You cannot even get a visa to go to another country and even if you do, that other country may just stick you into a refugee camp? They unfortunately cannot follow the advice in those books. And if they do, they can get shot.

So, those books are good for mainstream citizens of highly developed first world countries. Since the majority of the world does not belong to those, maybe it is time someone would start writing books about how an average, garden variety third-worlder can succeed or at least avoid acute suffering where he is at. That would be a best seller, for sure.

***

One of the strains on today’s fabric of society, I think is the fact that in many countries people are encouraged to wait to finish a four year college before they get married. Biologically speaking, late teens and early twenties is a very fruitful time to mate and have kids. However, somehow the modern college system in many countries does not promote college -time marriage and, thus, represses the young people’s normal pro-creational urges. This creates unhealthy tensions, explosions of testosterone in men with resulting violence and bad energy, and all kinds of wild behavior, drug use, promiscuity on behalf of some women, and a host of other social ills. Somehow, if you suggest that people should be married at 18 and study and help each other and even have kids while in college, that is seen as wacky idea by many. Or, it is seen as economically infeasible. I think, though, that if governments around the world applauded such an early marriage and given people an incentive to get married and stay married, we would have a much healthier society overall.

Upgrading Wretched First and Second Generation Immigrants, Socially Displaced Persons and Other Misfits.

2009-03-10T09:11:00.000-07:00

There is a small percentage of world population which I would term socially displaced people. These people are strangers everywhere they go, are unneeded as friends and lovers and are lonely as all get out. In this article, I would like to show how we can improve their lot by making them multipatriate- i. e, residents of more than one country and how we can upgrade them to an Expat status which is an honourable title in many parts of the world. I will only talk about those misfits who are citizens of the Western world but who cannot enjoy its social benefits. These are usually 1st and 2nd generation immigrants, naturalized citizens, mostly males and mostly young.

Think Palestinians for one. A very unfortunate group- they have no citizenship, the land which they lived on was taken be people “returning” from a 2000 year old exile, and few nations around them want them. Those fortunate enough to get to the West are not particularly well treated by the local population there, either. Sure, in many a Western country they qualify for welfare and student aid and other social programs, and can progress professionally and financially. They can finally attain Western citizenship. However, many suffer from a social stigma that the Western society puts on them. They are accused of being terrorists, experience discrimination on the job market, and most often than not, rejection in the mainstream daily social life. People do not want to befriend them; girls do not want to date them. Becoming and being an immigrant is not a picnic, period, how much worse is it if you are of an unpopular ethnicity and origin?

Even before we talk about them being former Palestinians, it is important to note that “immigrant” is not a good term or a good word to begin with. It sounds bad. Immigrant ,basically, means trouble, poverty, being unwelcome (again, socially, not politically, as most Western countries have excellent democratic institutions that will enable those people to have equal rights under the law). But law is one thing, while how people feel about becoming your friend and associating with you is another thing. Once an immigrant particularly from a non Western nation, one will often forever be referred to as such long after he has become a citizen of those Western societies.

Things are especially bad if they belong to a group that is routinely vilified in movies or on the news :think of being a young Arab American man in the US, an Iranian, or a Russian. These groups are constantly shown in bad light in the media, and even though many people know that media does not tell the truth, still, negative messages are subliminally injected into people’s brains and negative associations are created. In the case such immigrants arrive young, they will be picked on and teased by other kids and many (again not all) will be severely traumatized by such experiences.

Take an Arab citizen of Israel. They do not belong there and do not particularly belong anywhere else. They can move to the West and prosper professionally, but they will probably never obtain any serious social status or be “popular” there. “Some”- the instrumental word is ‘some’, may do OK, but most will remain on the margins, socially speaking. So, being an Israeli Arab in Israel is bad, it is bad to be one in Arab countries- you are seen as a traitor, and it is not a good thing to be one in the USA as you may suffer from a double- anti-Semitism. Many girls in the US, UK, Canada, would not want to date an Arab.

So, if you are a young Israeli Arab man, you will, most probably, have a tough life in many places, including the West.

Young Russian ladies are a delicious morsel sought by many a love hungry Western man. If you are a young Russian woman in France, USA, Canada, Australia, you have got it made. Guys will be all over you. Now, what if you are a young Russian man? How will you do? Most Western women will probably run away from you thinking you Mafia, Communist, wife beater and alcoholic. Russian guys in the US do not do very well. Russian girls are not threats and they do very, very nicely. Being a Russian man anywhere in the West usually means- no girl!

I am happy for those who have not suffered from such social prejudices and I hope they continue their happy lives forever. But this article is not about them. It is about those guys who because of an ‘unpopular’ ethnic background have not been able to enjoy a normal social life that includes the simple rights to be able to make normal friends in the country where you live and to have a girl.

Here are some examples that I am quite familiar with: Pakistani Brits for one. These guys are neither fish nor fowl. Indians and Pakistanis call them” Brits” while ‘real’ Brits call them Indians and Pakistanis. You can also include Bosnian Serbs into the same category. In Bosnia, the other ethnic groups were killing them for being Serbs, but in Serbia they call them ‘Bosnians’. Indians in Uganda, who were kicked out by Idi Amin did not go back to India, but ended up in the UK. Ugandan Blacks called them ‘Indians’, the UK people called them Ugandans. Again, they become a neither-fish-nor-fowl kind of people when they move to the West. If you are a young man in a similar situation, the main effect that you will feel will be social- hard to make friends, hard to get a girl to date you.

There are other refugees to the West who cannot go back to the country of origin, sometimes because they were expelled for political views, sometimes because of wrong ancestry and their old country now being occupied by an ethnic group of another ancestry, sometimes because they are stuck in a country that became independent and they or their parents are not of the dominant race there ( such as Russians who are stuck in the Baltic countries, or Germans who got stuck in Poland once, or Greeks who got stuck in Turkey sometime back, etc. Once they become dating age men in the West, they do not usually do very well. Too poor, too recent, unpopular countries; therefore, not seen as good dating partners by local girls.

In addition to the above, there are the traditional visible minorities in the West who had been born and bread there, but who do not feel they belong to the mainstream culture and who feel that they are discriminated against. They can be children of immigrants, they can be indigenous people or they can be people who just look different. Asian Americans? Indian Americans? There are many such people, and the greatest misfits and the loneliest among them seem to be their young men. Women who are ‘different’ are often seen as exotic, and in many (again not all) cases, eventually, they meet a mainstream male who will take them under his protective wing. Or they end up marrying a successful guy from their own community. It seems that women have got it easier as a rule, especially those under 40, but even after 40, they still have better chances than men of fitting in. The above is my observation and I can be wrong. But that is what I have seen and this is what I am sharing with you. In immigrant communities men almost always seem to outnumber women,

Anyway, assuming that you are one of such people, are young ( or young at heart) male and unmarried, and you arrived (or had been born) in the West, you feel lonely and do not sense that you fit in no matter what you do, and you cannot go back to “ your country” , you have several choices:

1) Keep trying to fit in. Good luck, but, in most cases, it is like squaring the circle. You will never completely fit in.
2) Stay with your own race- a very primitive, defeatist, and not a good solution because in most immigrant communities, women are stuck up ( if you are not rich) and many do not like to be around you as they would rather either get a rich local and join the mainstream whatever that or get a richer immigrant man. In addition to that, enclosing yourself within your own group also contributes to the development of your own form of Apartheid, which I think we should all be against.
3) Concentrate on making money and getting a good education. Not a bad idea and it can somewhat improve your social life, but my feeling is, this solution has limitations, too, particularly if you are planning on staying on where you are.
4) Find a poorer country and go and live there. You will see your social status skyrocket. Upgrade yourself. Bump yourself up from an “Immigrant” or an unpopular ethnicity, to “Western Expat”. Upgrade yourself from a “Black guy” or “an Asian guy” to an “American”; from a “Vietnamese Refugee” to an ‘Australian” , from a “Maori” to a ‘ New Zealander’, from a “Paki” to ‘a guy from England’. You will be able to achieve that if you go to a so called Third World country. You will have friends up the ying yang and more girls that you cold shake a stick at. You will learn to use inter-etnic and inter-country differences to your advantage and not against you.

In case of #4, the only thing standing between you and a rick social life is a bit of money. The trick is making being able to make a living in hard currency, and in just, generally, having enough cash to carry the whole thing out. But if you are in the West now and are a citizen of the West,this absolutely can be done because the West is all about financial opportunities. Think had and take advantage of those so that later you can take advantage of social opportunities in the ‘lower worlds”.

Let me present you with some hypothetical case studies:

a) Juan is from a poor Puerto Rican family in New York. He does not feel he belongs in the mainstream US culture because of prejudices against his ethnicity, and he feels that living in Puerto Rico would be beyond his means. Yup, Puerto Rico is very expensive. In New York he would often get into fights and called all sorts of names. He had few friends and no girlfriends. There are more Puerto Rican guys than girls in the city and he could never successfully compete for one. He was also often denied friendships from non Puerto Rican guys, and dating opportunities from non Puerto Rican girls as many do not like Puerto Rican men in NY. He was born and raised there, but suffered from discrimination nonetheless. He then decided to become a computer programmer, studied hard, got his license, and started working online. He then moved to Honduras, where he immediately became an American Latino, very welcome, with oodles of friends, people inviting him to parties, girls seeking him out, thus solving his ostracism problem pretty much immediately upon moving there. He is planning on making his social home in Honduras for the rest of his life now (or until he finds another country that he likes) while taking advantage of the business opportunities in the USA at he same time.

b) Omar has been socially and politically displaced. He is a Palestinian man who immigrated to Detroit from the West bank. He loves and appreciates America, and is now a US citizen. He has found though, that again, there is social prejudice against him, and he has trouble dating American girls and making friends with other Americans because he is an Arab.

He saves up money, learns Spanish and moves to Colombia. Immediately he becomes aware of a 180 degree change in the social atmosphere around him. He is surrounded by warm, friendly people, meets a beautiful girl and gets married to her, opens a restaurant and lives a good life. He is no longer bitter, and assimilates himself into the society with no further problems. His status is high as he is now a rich expat, not a poor immigrant from a bad country. He has not moved out of the US completely as America provides him with excellent credit and investment opportunities- he owns a house and gets a small rent from it, has a big credit line and is able to utilize it in developing his restaurant business with his gorgeous young wife in Medelllin.

c) Yasif is a Pakistani Brit, and he also feels like a socially displaced person. He has a passion for beautiful blond women, but no good English girl wants to date a ‘bloody Paki”, a “miserable wog”. He does not fit in in Pakistan either, as he is completely British by culture.

No matter how much he tries to find a good English blond girl, there is always an invisible barrier that he runs into which is intensified by the fact that the English people stubbornly tell him that they are not racist while in fact they are. He was born in England, and has a British passport.

So, he yearns for social interaction and the company of beautiful blond women and wants to be around the people that accept and respect him. Upon advice of a well wisher, he gets a certificate in TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and moves to Riga, Latvia. Immediately, he is “upgraded”- from a “Wog”, he becomes a “Brit”. Gorgeous blond girls line up to dance with him because he is from England. He eventually ends up having a girlfriend who looks more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe and Britney Spears put together. He has a EU nationality and can stay in Latvia forever. Problem solved. He goes to England several times a year on business and to visit his parents, but his social home is now in Latvia.

I could continue with more examples and among these would be:

d) A black American guy who moves to Ethiopia and becomes a star with local ladies.
e) A poor ethnic German, originally from Romania, who had immigrated to Canada but who is now living as a rich Canadian expat in the Philippines.
f) An ethnic Indonesian Chinese who moves to Thailand where his Chinese ancestry is no longer something you can get killed for, but is, actually, a big plus.
g) An ethnic Russian from Kazakhstan, went to the US, got his US passport, but now spends most of his time in Brazil. He is no longer teased about being a Commie, a Borat, or snubbed by American girls, as he is now a rich “Gringo” in Brazil. Every 18 year old mulatto girl wants him and the feeling is mutual.

If you are a young or not so young single man, a “neither fish nor fowl” person or if you feel that you have a low status where you are no matter what you try, there is a place where you belong. You will just have to find it. Once you find that place and have the financial wherewithal to move there and spend time there, you will be able to upgrade your status as soon as your airplane touches its soil.

Inspite of all the benefits of being ‘there; I would like to caution you that it would be unwise to ever give up your first world citizenship and totally move into that other welcoming place. Third world countries are unstable and unpredictable.

Also, if you are a naturalized Western national, you most probably gave an oath stating that you want to live in the US and Canada, NZ, OZ, permanently. So, it is imperative that you go back to the 1st world regularly, at least once a year and re-establish your “political” presence there, take care of all the business and financial/practical benefits there, while your heart firmly remains in your new found heaven where an un-belonging misfit like yourself, a minority, a socially displaced unwanted element is miraculously upgraded to a 1st world expat social position complete with honor, friends, and beautiful girls. What else would anyone need?

Plant your tree in the 1st world, rest in the shade in the developing worlds. An “otherworldly “ solution for an insidious problem.

Misc March 09

2009-03-06T09:25:00.000-08:00

Some people say that Hitler was not German, but Austrian. That is not completely true. They forget that Hitler had become a naturalized German citizen sometime before WWII started. So, according to the German law, he was now a German. And it is the German law that decides who is German and who is not. Not you. Not me.

So, Hitler was not “originally” a German national, but he ‘became’ one. Any problem with that? The Nazi Germany let a naturalized citizen hold the highest office in the land while in America, the Constitution prohibits it.

I wonder what conclusion one can draw from that.

***

Native people in tropical regions appear lazy because of the traditional rhythm of planting and harvesting there being different from other colder areas. In the tropics one can plant and harvest many times so there is no hurry to do anything now. This tradition of not hurrying is transferred into other areas of one’s life. The same goes for subtropics and other regions where winters are short and mild and summers are long. People just have more time; also they do not need to work as hard because of land giving them so much.

In colder regions people have long winters and if you do not hurry, once it sets in and you have not prepared to weather it in a warm house somewhere with enough grain and meat stashed up, you will starve and die. So, you have less time and you hurry more.
The famous fable of an ant and a grasshopper can have a different twist if we stipulate that the grasshopper was a laid back and happy Malay or Southern Indian living in his land, while the ant was a Korean, a Japanese, or a Briton.

Of course, there are exceptions to the rule and other factors such as overpopulation ion some areas that makes life for “grasshoppers” not as comfortable or wars or things like that. In colder regions you have new generations of lazy people who are used to the luxuries and technologies bestowed upon them by their laborious ancestors and who are now lazy as all get out. You also have countries in the tropics where most of the population are descendants of recent immigrants from colder areas- such as Australia, Hong Kong, etc. But, by and large, if you look at the history of mankind, the North does seem to have more paranoid people who value time more.

***
Deciding to live in more that one country can be an effective cure against discrimination. Even living in only one other country sometimes seems to work- look at the Puritans. They were discriminated against in England so they went to America. Millions of other people who faced all kinds of discrimination at home, be it economic, religious, political or even racial (such as mixed kids in Vietnam and Japan) found that moving to the US significantly alleviated the discrimination and opened up new opportunities for them. Women from regions where they have few rights( such as Africa and even Japan), people who were hopelessly stuck in a social class from which there is no escape in their society, benefited greatly by moving to the West.
It is ironic now that there is as a small but steady stream of refugees from the West to other countries and these are running away from other problems and these are mostly men: there are male refugees who are escaping feminism and the severe lack of dating partners who go to Eastern Europe, South East Asia and Latin America, there are also Asian American men who are discovering that they are much more wanted in other countries than back in the Anglosphere, Black men who feel that they will be treated better in France than back in the USA, white men who are moving from new socialist South Africa and Zimbabwe to the Middle East where they are appreciated more and do not fall under new Black Empowerment quotas which makes them the least hire-able group of society. The male talent drain is not openly discussed or noted in the media but it is a growing trend which hundreds of thousands of people join every year. Some fail in new lands, many succeed. They are the underreported migrants but we will be hearing more and more about them some day.

***

One of the most unpleasant thing to be told as a foreigner in a faraway land and the one that leaves you the most upset is when they tell you that you take jobs away from the locals. It makes you feel helpless, unneeded, unwanted and unwelcome. Such things are often heard in the West, particularly the US, Canada, UK, etc. No matter what job you will take even the ones for which there are not enough candidates, there will always be someone grumbling, so consider yourself lucky if you never hear it.

One part of the world where you seldom hear such accusations is the Arab Gulf countries. If you tell the locals that you are there teaching or doing other things that are helping the country, they love hearing it and tell you that they want you to stay for a long time. Once in Oman, a local told me” Welcome to my country, welcome, I hope you stay here for the rest of your life”. These are good things to hear and they make you feel really good about yourself. The exception is Kuwait where some expats were told that they were robbing the country’s economy. But these things were almost never said to Westerners, but rather to other Arabs from poorer countries. However, by and large, as far as the welcome of the locals to a Western national who wants to work there and make good money at that, the Gulf countries can’t be beat.

***

Can you imagine being like one of the Astors who used to throw lavish parties for the elite in prestigious city areas like, say, Manhattan? But how much would a birthday party for say, twenty people cost in Manhattan? We are talking about thousands and thousands of dollars.

But all you have to do is find another “Manhattan-like” area – a high rise- filled downtown of which there are now aplenty in so many developing countries. The Makati area in Manila is such a “Manhattan”. I have been able to host a birthday party in a large mall among skyscrapers and luxury hotels with all the food and drinks all of us ( there were twenty of us, all together) could handle. It cost me a bit over $400. Simply amazing! All you have to do is change the location and you become one of the Astors.

***

Learning the language of a country does not necessarily mean that you will not be cheated or swindled. Some people seem to think that if they will become fluent in the tongue of some country that is notorious for its corrupt and dishonest locals, they would be able to avoid being taken to the cleaners. Sometimes it helps, in cases when they gossip about you and plan to say, overcharge you, but sometimes it does not. In some cases, it will make you even more attractive to conmen (and con-women) who would otherwise not dare approach you because of their poor English skills, but who now feel emboldened to worm themselves into your confidence. They pretend that they are now your guides that are helping you to learn the language even better and to introduce you to more customs and opportunities of the country. So, do not relax your guard once you speak the lingo. Better learn from other expats and well meaning locals about what scams are the most popular, and watch out for those. Mastering the language is a praiseworthy undertaking but do not nurture illusions that it will make you much less vulnerable to scams.

***

A middle aged unmarried /divorced man in the Western world is a miserable has been who has pretty much no hope to have a normal love life unless he is a super duper millionaire, and famous to boot. For an average, 40+, 50+ year old Joe Gringo, love, as he (used to) know(s) it, is finished. That is something out of a distant past, a piece of bitter nostalgia that will never come back to him again.

However, a simple miracle of changing locations flips that reality right over. A 40+, 50+ year old foreigner in many places in Asia and Latin America is a highly sought after commodity that young women will be fighting over. Why? Well, because being mature is an asset; not a liability in those places. You have your head firmly on your shoulders, you have money ( hopefully) and you offer stability. You can be a leader and a guide, a real man that is so hard to find in those highly unstable, iffy nations. And yes, it means that you may be paying a small allowance to a young lady (or two or more), but she( or they of you wish) will be absolutely gorgeous, most probably virgins and they will be thanking God and their lucky stars that a man like that appeared in their lives. Taking one of them shopping and buying them $200 worth of clothes, groceries and toiletries will make you a super hero in their widely open eyes. No local guy would ever help them like that, so, enter you, a friendly, middle aged foreigner. Just like a dream come true.

So, stop reading singles ad for 40 year old women with three kids who want gorgeous young studs to fight over them, and who get that to happen, too. Get on that plane and have young women fight over YOU!

***

In a lot of South East Asian countries, getting married is a very easy thing. If yo have got money, that is. Why is that? Well, because women there have a different concept of love, culturally speaking, that is.
In the West many believe that you need to first be romantically in love with the person, and then you get married. In many places in SE Asia, they believe that you should marry first, and then you fall in love later, after you have been married for some time.

You may find that philosophy to be calculating and unnatural, but I have read that there have been studies that show that such, more often than not arranged marriages are the happiest ones. Usually such women marry men for money and they hope to fall in love later. The surprising thing is that this formula seems to work as long as the man is not too disgusting to be around, is kind and responsible and does not hurt the woman. Of course marrying a smelly 65 year old hippopotamus may not be the most pleasant thing in the world, but an otherwise semi attractive, not to repulsive man may eventually win the girls heart, especially when kids appear on the scene.

Marriage invariable involves a strong financial aspect which stays on long after the romantic attraction fades away. Yes, the financial aspect will last decades upon decades whereas romance will weaken after a few months to few years. Wise women know that, and there are many very practical, although not unkind women who understand the true nature of such unions, particularly, if they are to take place in unstable economies of the so called Third world.

So, in other words, she comes into the marriage for money and she stays for love. And the formula seems to work better than the” come for love, then seek money together” one. This is obvious in the relatively small number of divorces that come about in the case of “practical” Third world marriages. So, if you are in a market for a wife in South East Asia, and have ready cash, do not be afraid to try to offer the beautiful woman the” marry for stability first, fall in love later” option. More often than not, she will say “Yes” with a smile.

Misc Feb 09 II

2009-02-28T06:41:00.000-08:00

If you have failed in your search for riches which is such a flaky and capricious thing to begin with, you are guaranteed not to fail in your search for cheapness.

There are places in the world that are so cheap that you are assured of becoming ‘rich’ there with even little of your Western money. So, if you did not make it in the West until you hit middle age, start looking for cheap places now!

***

Saudis have been getting bad rap in Western media for decades now. Either they are portrayed as religious fanatics bent on killing the infidel, or as arrogant, expensive shades- wearing profligates riding around in Land Rovers smiling with a sardonic and evil smile and throwing money around. They are always shown as either dour or haughty, which is complete falsehood.

An image of a dagger/bomb- wielding average Saudi with an angry expression on his face is a complete fabrication. If you base that on some terrorists from the lunatic fringe of their society, then every American should be portrayed as Jeffrey Dahmer and every Brit as Jack the Ripper.

If there is a nation that is somewhat similar to Saudis in behaviour, it is the Japanese. An average Saudi is a very soft spoken, immaculately polite and modest person. Always clean, with freshly pressed clothes and smelling just as fresh. Arrogance is against the Saudis’ religion. Saudis also exhibit very little racism as there are no visible divisions between blacks and whites. There are no black mosques and white mosques as the case would be in the Anglo world.

Saudis come from many ethnic backgrounds and reflect years of intermarriage with many races. Some Saudis even belong to Nordic and East Asians races and all are Saudis by law. There is no hyphenation. A Saudi is a Saudi. You can see lily-white kids and very black kids all playing together. A very African looking Saudi will say with pride- “ I am a hundred percent Arab!”

The Saudi nation has been a home to millions of foreigners for many decades, and it is very rare that you see angry Saudis attacking them for “taking jobs away” or telling them to “go back to their country” as would often be the case in the West. Or even in Africa. They have welcomed foreign workers, and also, pay Westerners higher salaries than they pay their own people. They bend over backwards to make sure that Westerners feel comfortable and stay there for a long time. The welcome includes free housing and utilities, free transportation to work and, sometimes, free food, free cars and gasoline, long vacations ( some as long as 3-4 months in a year) free school for children and even free clothing. No tax is collected from anybody.

Saudis are easy to get along with; easy to work with. Living among Saudis assures you privacy as well as absence of loud noises and loud music being played. People are quiet, shy, and very considerate of others. Your privacy is guaranteed.

What probably differentiates them from the Japanese is the fact that an average Saudi is not as serious-looking. They are generally in a happy, joking mood all the time, are smiley and accommodating. Saudis are especially so in the countryside.

There are still some intertribal frictions in the country left over from ages past, and there are occasional wacko terrorists who threaten everyone’s well being. Many Saudis, though, have died saving foreigners from terrorists in their country. Now, after enormous crackdowns and severe punishments, terrorism has been virtually eradicated and many Westerners who have left during the spate of attacks in 2003 have come back.

Contrary to the popular myth, properly religious Saudis do not consider Westerners to be “infidels” because they share the same God and the same monotheistic faith. Those who have said that about Westerners are very ignorant and ill-informed. They do however call Westerners Khawajas (from which the Spanish word Gabacho comes), which basically means something like “Gringos”, but it is not a pejorative.

Having said all that, Saudis have a very strict religion-based legal system and those who come to work in the KSA (Kingdom of Saudi Arabia) should follow it because Saudis themselves follow it. When in Rome, do as Romans do. They do not force people to convert to their religion, but simply insist that they behave in a modest and proper way in public and do not violate local laws.

Many Westerners, including Black Americans who have converted to the local faith have been able to marry local ladies. Ethnicity does not mean much in Saudi Arabia.

The demonization of Saudis in the Western media is unfair. Do not pay attention to it.

***
An Oil Rich Customer is Always Right.

A British professor at some Oman university failed a young female student for absenteeism, being consistently late and not to completing the class assignments. When the lazy student desperately pleaded with him to pass her, he adamantly refused to budge and remained true to his principles that a person should be responsible for his/her actions (or lack thereof) and should reap the just results thereof. No passing grade was given in spite of her entreaties.
The girl went back to the mountains and consulted the tribal elders. The mountain tribe swept down into the city and virtually “stormed” the university. The student was passed, the British professor got fired.

Dismissed! Out the bloody door!

What is the moral of the story?
Don’t be so anal when dealing with people in these oil rich lands. Learn to be flexible. Relax your principles a bit. Or face a shameful dismissal. Got it?

Misc. Feb 09

2009-02-27T09:23:00.000-08:00

If you are a native of a land standing inside the airport of any nation on earth and observing the stream of people who are coming in you may come to some wrong conclusions.

For example, if you see many people from a certain country or region coming to yours because of a certain attraction be it geographical, religious, economic or culinary, you will probably exclaim- see, all these people from this region (or these regions) of the Earth are coming in because a) our country has the best ( insert the attraction) and b) just about everybody abroad is interested in this attraction, that is why “everybody’ is coming here. Any number of people that seems bigger than usual will be equated with ‘everybody’ and will fill the native with patriotic pride and even haughtiness. This also refers to immigration of poorer people into the country. See? Everybody wants to settle here!

In reality though, such provincial natives have no idea what other airports looks like and how many people are arriving there. Those who are bragging about how everybody wants to immigrate into their country also confuse immigration with “worldwide migration” which involves hundreds of millions of people. Some 200 million are now living an expat life, as emigrants, immigrants, temporary laborers and retirees. A huge part of the traffic is from poorer countries to richer ones, but there is also tourist traffic that is not necessarily economically based, as well as retiree traffic, from richer to poorer countries or shall I say, from more expensive to cheaper ones.

However, it still keeps the natives of many a place proud and, at times, arrogant as they mistake any stream of people migrating in with “everybody”. You will be able to witness such arrogant citizens who think that their country is God’s gift to man in so many places in the world just because they have seen so many foreigners coming in.

***

Animals do not seem to have nation states, do they? Yeah, they are territorial, in a way but do they conflate a strange combination of their quacking, their subspecies and then a certain land area that they occupy into a holy abstraction of a country or do they? They do not have nationalities in our sense. Do they organize into protecting a swamp, a field from invaders? In way, I guess but they do not seem imbued with the same sacred idea of nationhood that we do. They do not have a brain for it, and it is just as well. They travel without passports and visas and do not need to get extension, green cards, etc.

Do birds have nation states with borders in the skies? Do fish and mollusks have nation- states at the bottom of the ocean? How does it work with them?

***

There are many places in the world where there is a big queue in front of a US Embassy with people lining up to get visas. Many an American will gloat and say- see? How come there are no such lines in our country with Americans lining up to get visas to go to their country? Well, the reason is basically that US Embassies in poorer (and even not so poor ) countries require a personal interview to let those people in. Americans, on the other hand, for example those going to Saudi Arabia to work or Kuwait (which number in tens of thousands) get their visas by mail through a visa agent or even upon arrival into the country. So, no personal interview is required from the host countries for most of the 6,000,000 US citizens living and working there. Hence, you do not see Americans standing in the rain to get visas to go to another nation state.

***

Those alpha males who think they will escape from Feminism and leftism in the West by moving to the Arab world are in for a big disappointment particularly if they work in the educational field. Huge numbers of teaching and administrative positions are now occupied by ill tempered middle aged Western females who are feminist and often socialist. Many have a chip on their shoulder and they will unleash the bile of their life’s past bitternesses upon your head if you happen to work for them. Many of them are extremely cruel, nasty and they can report you at the drop of a hat for the smallest infraction and even file abuse charges against you. Being fired by them for the smallest, most capricious pretense is a common occurrence

Where are the Arabs doing about all this? Do they allow this to go on in a traditional male environment? Yes, outside of Saudi Arabia, they do. At universities many an Arab rector and dean delight in having middle management positions staffed by middle aged Western women with an attitude. It lends certain modernity to their institutions and shows how much they appreciate diversity. It also attracts Arab male students many of whom enjoy having a female Western teacher- it’s is just so exotic and novel to them.

Many of these females end up having Arab admirers and even boyfriends with almost total impunity all the while Western men working there often do not get any female companionship to speak of.

The only country that does not allow this is, again, Saudi Arabia. There, you can be sure that your boss will be a man and there will be no Feminism at work. However, I the countries around Saudi Arabia, you may end up working for much more vicious feminazis that even back home.

Fortunately, there are also some kind females around who will be a pleasure to work with but do not expect to run away from the modern man hating female despots by moving to the Gulf (outside of Saudi). So, be careful.

Second Youth in the Second/Third World;

2009-02-21T06:29:00.000-08:00

We have heard of the term “second childhood” or dotage when an elderly person becomes as helpless and as unreasonable as a newly born child as he/she stumbles towards the end of his/her life. Little, though, have we heard of second youth, which is a nature-given second chance to men and often, even women. What is this second youth?
Well, let me give you an example: say you are a man who has tried to succeed in early years studying hard, marrying, raising a family but through a combination of bad breaks and one’s own lack of wisdom and experience, has ended up a failure to one degree or another. You may be in your late thirties or forties or even fifties with little to show in terms of personal achievements. You may have gone through a bitter divorce or bankruptcy or a combination of the two. Your society considers you a loser, young attractive women won’t touch you with a ten foot pole and basically, you have very few things to look forward to.
This is the time when you should seriously consider starting afresh in a new land, preferable in a developing country where value are different, your status as a first world national is automatically high and where young females see maturity in years as an asset, not a liability. Such a possibility is your God given second wind, an opportunity to turn over a new leaf and have another youth in which failures of the past become not regrets lying heavily on your heart but lessons that will give you a chance to succeed that second time around.
Second youth can start anywhere from 30 to 50 and end whenever you are no longer interested in the pleasures of youth and are probably more inclined towards exploring interests of maturity. It can last anywhere from ten to thirty years or a bit less if you decide to get married and start a family. But even then, you can be a young father, still in the prime of youth.
As far as your look and potency goes, well, there are now many products on the market and many kinds of inexpensive surgical and non surgical procedures to keep you looking, feeling and performing as a young man should.
There will be many kinks to work out, set backs and obstacles but if you persist, the second youth will be there for many years to come.
Is second youth available to women? Well, yes, in a much watered-down version it is. Now there are middle aged Western women who head for Mediterranean and African countries where a 55 year old Western female can have a 20+ year old lover/husband and have her second chance at youth. However, she may not be able to have children again or assume the same position of “power” in her relationships as a Western man in the developing world could. Still, if she wants to have it, she might as well go ahead and enjoy it. I have seen Western women in their 50ies in the Middle East and they were living excellent lives enjoying all pleasures that it can offer. “Please, don’t let the party end” would be their war cry in Oman, Egypt, Turkey or Greece.
Somehow, though, it seems that men can have their “revenge” better and it can last longer and be more fulfilling. Plus, society will accept it much more and the whole thing will just flow more naturally.
The main obstacle to overcome in the financial one. How can one support oneself in all those lands? This is where your creativity, persistence and wisdom should be used. Teaching languages is the best way although it may not provide as much money as you think? A stint in Iraq to save some money for an online business that you can run anywhere in the world? Think hard, work hard and do not give up. Remember that Second Youth may last as long as the first one if not longer, so you do have enough time to arrange its happening.

Mon0patriates, Bipatriates, Multipatriates.

2009-02-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

New Terms:

Monopatriate ( n.) A monopatriate person is someone who believes that everything (s)he needs can be found in one nation-state, usually, in the one in which he is a citizen/native/national and where he belongs to the predominant “power group” the groups of citizens who are enjoying a good lifestyle in which they do not lack for anything.
The term can also include minorities who still love the country of their birth/citizenship and who believe that through education or hard work they can achieve the same status as the power group.
Monopatriates can be indigenous or non indigenous people, native born or foreign born, immigrants or non-immigrants. As long as they embrace the idea that where they are in the best place on earth and do not aspire to seriously move to another country, they can be termed “monopatriate”.
In most first world as well as non first world large countries, the majority of people living there embrace the monopatriate philosophy.
Bipatriate (n.) this person believes that in order to have a complete life, one country is not enough- it is better to live in two countries. Usually these people are immigrants with still strong roots to the language and culture of the old country or cultural aficionados of exotic lands who early on in life start expressing a strong interest in some other culture. These persons shuttle back and forth, and forever live straddling two nations/cultures/states. Among them, you can also find people who are married to foreigners and who are now more or less connected to another ethnos or country through marriage. These are often bilingual and bicultural. Bipatriates include expat workers and even refugees. Bipatriism, thus, is not always a voluntary choice. Sometimes, it taken up out of economic or political necessity.
Multipatriate (n) ( or if you wish, you can add such terms as “tri-, quadro-, quinto-“ patriates although anything beyond two is already a “multi”). These people believe that any one country is chronically incomplete for them and it lacks some important elements to enable them to enjoy a happy, full life there. Or, the country can have a fault which is seen as intolerable to them. They have travelled around the world and have discovered that in other countries there are elements that they seek which were missing at home and that there are no similar problems which they had to face in their permanent country of domicile. They also realize that just two countries is again not enough since usually there are two many problems and too many things are lacking for just one other country to make up for. Hence, they spread their lives among three or four countries or more and live lives in which everything they need is available in abundance.
While bipatriation can be attained by quite a few people- look at Subcontinental workers in the Arabian Gulf countries who are there for decades, multipatriation is more difficult and requires greater flexibility as well as a good travel document ( such as a 1st world passport) which would (politically) not impede their freedom of movement. It is harder to be a multipatriate with a Bangladheshi passport.
A multipatriate should also have the sufficient financial means to afford such a lifestyle.It does not mean rich, just some $2000 a month could be enough. However, the rewards are enormous- the fulfilment of just about every desire can be his(hers). Big houses ( rented) at the fraction of a cost, gorgeous model-like lovers, past times that (s) he could never afford back home, the weather and the services, the views, the cultural environment, the friendliness that he could never hope to have in his/her country had he stayed mono-patriate.
Again and again you will discover that God has put everything you want on this planet and it is, in fact, the Garden of Eden. But God did not put all the treasures and fruit and pleasures of the Garden in just one Nation State. Even the richest people who think that everything is available where they are will see that while many things may be brought over, a lot of it is just not as good as it would be in its natural habitat.

Girls from the "Hospitality" Industry- a Good Choice?

2009-02-18T23:21:00.000-08:00

Many expats fall in love with girls they meet in the "hospitality" industry- sleazy hostess bars, go go bars, KTV ( karaoke) bars. Some wonder if falling in love with a girl like that is a sensible move. I have a few thoughts on the matter:

Nightlife industry has a vampiric effect on girls- once they work in KTV, bars, etc. something in them changes permanently, the way something changes in a person when he/she becomes a vampire. A stream of men paying them money either for drinks or for sex also changes their whole attitude towards men, money, love, etc. It affects them in ways that are strange and unpredictable, too. Each girl manifests such changes in different ways but one thing is certain:

1) If men can pay her big money per night just to sit with her or have sex with he or sing with her, she sure as hell is not going to go to a normal job where she has to WORK, not just SIT or LIE DOWN.

2) Having seen/met hundreds of men, she has grown callous to men and sees them as a source of easy income. She is also dreaming of a release from her industry but not by a normal guy; by a rich guy!

3) She has some family situation where she has to support someone- parents, kids or her college studies. What she has to support is expensive and she cannot have a normal office job- the work is hard, the money is too little.

4) As long as she is in an establishment like she is in ( and she is used to that kind of "work" and it is very hard to break out of it) , the thing remains this: Every evening, while you are studying, working, spending time on the net, with your parents or family or just reading a book or watching TV at home, she is in company of drunk, horny, drooling, smelly men night after night after night. She is smiling at them, talking to them, hugging them, holding their hand, letting them touch her titties and kiss her on the cheek. She has several dates every night!!!!

The only way out if this for her is to find a rich guy, a really rich guy.

Are you one?

If you are not, just be friends with her. Give her some guidance. No need to fall in love. I would not touch a girl like that with a ten foot pole except as a friend.

And if I were a rich guy, I would try and find a virgin, not someone like her.

With a very few exceptions, such girls should be avoided as future serious life partners. You have a big choice in those countries, so just stay with your other choices of which there are more than you think.

“Citizenship”, an outdated word?

2009-01-22T08:05:00.001-08:00

I think “citizenship” is an outdated word. Same as “citizen”. Because it comes from the word ‘city”. Back in the old days, we had no countries, but more like giant city states with land around them. So, a member of a society there was called a “citizen”, and he had “citizenship”. Now, we have had nation-states for a long time, also known as “countries”. Therefore, a person who is a legal member of a country should be called a “countrizen” and have a “countrizenship”. It just seems so much more correct. The people of the Vatican and Singapore and other such small city states are the only ones that should have “citizenship”.

Expatriation, Problems and Destiny (Musings)

2009-01-22T08:05:00.000-08:00

There is a theory that says that wherever you go, there you are, and that problems follow you. That you can’t get away from your bad destiny. If you have a problem that you are trying to escape from by expatriating, then you need to keep one thing in mind- we seem to have an invisible account in all of us and running away from problems does not change its sum total.

In other words, if you have bad luck in one area and try to go to a place where there are more opportunities not to have such a problem, then the bad luck will simply migrate into another area of your life. Don’t know if you believe it, but my observations prove it to be true. How so? Ok, I will give you a few hypothetical case studies:

Mr. Smith was unlucky in love and blamed lack of good women in America for his problems. He had emigrated to Brazil, and found a good woman there. However, shortly thereafter, he began having problems with his health. His bad luck migrated into another area of his life. His overall level of satisfaction and dissatisfaction with his life thus remained the same.

Mr. Nguyen was a poor Vietnamese man who migrated to the US. He became rich through business, but was frustrated with other problems he encountered in the US such as racism, changed (for worse) behaviour of his children and lack of good friends. Again, his overall level of happiness and/or unhappiness stayed the same.

Mr. Jones was a lonely intellectual who felt unneeded in his small town in Texas. He left for Paris. There he had found a big intellectual crowd that he could associate with. However, his income suffered and he could not make enough money to live a comfortable life. His overall level of satisfaction with life, again, stayed the same.

If you are unhappy and go to some other place to become happier by getting rid of a problem, the euphoria will be short-lived as other problems will appear to balance out the sum total of your destiny and put you back on the same plateau of happiness/unhappiness as you were before you have moved. This happens because, generally, they say, your environment reflects your karma objectively and subjectively. Bad things will happen anyway and/ or you will also perceive many new things as bad which will again make you upset in one way or another. Novelty will wear off, the same people will appear and eventually your life will become its old self.

Conversely, a happy person will remain happy whenever he/she moves.

The above is only a theory, of course. It does not seem to happen in all cases and with all people. Some change their lives completely by moving to another place and become much happier. Some people’s lives change for the worse. There are many variables and causes at play, some are more hidden than others and they all seem to conglomerate. However, one thing that mystics around the world have been telling us about- that our environment is a direct reflection of our spiritual insides seems to hold true. So, if you are into spiritual improvement, keep it up when you go abroad. Keep doing good things for society, as well. This way, your happiness will not be based on the changes in the outside environment, but vice versa- your environment will always keep up with the ever-changing (for the better) you.

P.E.S. Pity Evoking Scams by Asian Girls Online

2008-09-08T01:16:00.000-07:00

A lot of American and other Western guys are taken in by Asian girl- scammers online and lose thousands of dollars a day. How do the scammers operate? It is quite simple- a beautiful girl on Friendster.com or on other sites sends you a love note (or you send one to her) and then an online relationship develops. The girl confesses her friendly feelings for you, and then, presents her sad story to you. She had to quit school because she had no money for tuition. If you could only help her and put her through school, or just pay some $300 for this semester and help her buy books and uniforms, she would be eternally grateful to you and be your girlfriend/wife/lover. This is of course seen as an excellent opportunity by some lonely guy to become a knight in shining armour and save the girls’ future while getting a gorgeous overseas lover in the process. So, guys send the money.
Such scammers know that a Western guy will be far more likely to pay for tuition than to help with other things because they know we value education and self reliance. Once the “tuition” is sent, it is promptly spent on her immediate family needs, good food, new cell phones, and to pay the family’s debts. The swindler is often doing this to several guys at the same time while pretending to go to school to complete her studies.
Then, she would tell the guy that there was a sickness in the family and she had to spend her tuition on ambulance and hospital bills for her mother who had suddenly collapsed on the floor and is now in an intensive care unit. Now she needs the tuition payment once more. You will be surprised how many guys will be impressed by the story and send money yet again. If she is ever asked to present a copy of the hospital bill, she, of course, will not be able to do that – sorry, it’s been lost- and your communication will come to a halt.
Some of the biggest scammers are web cam “models” who chat for money and provide “special shows” to foreign customers online. These will often complain about how much they hate their “jobs” (which are illegal in their country, anyway) and how much they would love to go back home to their province. If someone could only help them with the bus/boat ticket (the fare will be greatly exaggerated) and also buy a cell phone so that they could call home, buy how happy they would be. Guys help. How can they not save a beautiful young lady from the life of vice with some $200 or less? The lady pockets the money and continues “working the cams” without going home at all. All she has to do now is to wait for another simpleton, tell him the same sob story about how much she wants to go home and just keep making her money by ripping yet another sucker off. How simple and what ingenuity! In the West, scammers prey on people’s greed; in the East, they prey on people’s pity and compassion. The latter hurts much more, in my opinion. We were taught not to be greedy, but we were never taught not to be kind.
Some rip off artists ask for money to cover expenses related to finding a job. In their country, they need police clearances, medical clearances, photographs and neighbourhood references in order to be able to apply for jobs. So, they ask you for money to get those. Again, they know that while a Western man will not be disposed to help their families directly or buy luxuries for them, many guys will send money if the ladies need it to get on their own two feet. There is no job, though, and no expenses to be met, as the lady is not even planning to find one. She will go shopping for a new dress or buy something good for her family. She has hit the jackpot, and it is you.
Other scams include such despicable things as faking one’s parents’ death and asking money for the funerals, and to tide herself over the next month or so until she can “get a job”. When money is sent to cover such a “tragedy”, the whole family celebrates by taking vacations, buying meals and possibly even throwing parties.
Sometimes, a cell phone is “ lost “or “stolen” (which is not true) – they just got tired of the model and want a better one, so they lie. They probably gave the old one to their brother, too.
On other occasions, the girls say that they have been robbed on the way home from work and their whole salary was taken by a thief or a hoodlum. Please send money – I have no money to pay rent. But she does.
In addition to outright scams, there are also semi-scams, and I do not know which ones are more unethical or more painful upon discovery. A semi- scam is based on exaggeration, and is also quite common. Here is how it works- some girls’ have a legitimate need- maybe, to pay a debt or, maybe, tuition or a registration fee. Well, they will overinflate the actual amount that they need to spend on those. If they need to pay 3000 pesos only, they will ask for 7000 and use the difference to buy luxuries, dresses and other such things, but more often than not, to help their enormous families. You will find quite normal people, friends and legitimate girlfriends from religious families who will not hesitate to take you for a ride that way.
If you refuse to send money at any point, there are three commons strategies that the scammers will employ:1) They will pretend to be someone else- an uncle or an aunt and send an SMS like this: “ Hello, I am Juan, Juvelyn’s uncle. Juvelyn needs your help. She has a serious infection and is in a hospital now. She has no money to pay the bills. Please help her”. You will notice though that it is the same girl typing because of the same “handwriting” – the same abbreviations are used, the same idiosyncrasies of capitalizations and style. So easy to spot if you do not let your profound compassion to stand on the way of common sense.2) You will receive a text from her friend (if you know one) telling her that her (the friend’s) baby is sick and that she needs to go back to the province. She will even provide the number to call her (your other friend) and her voice will be faked by the first girl. Money will be requested to help the infirm child but there is one problem, though- the girl has no ID to claim the money- would you kindly send it to Oscar Gomez who is, by the way, the first girl’s uncle.3) There will be threats of suicide, of the girl going to work as a prostitute, of hunger and starvation coming in the future, homelessness and death and prison for her- anything to soften up your heart and make you part with your hard-earned money.
Pity -Evoking Scams are, unfortunately, a common occurrence in online and offline communications with SE Asian ladies, so be extremely cautious. Do not send anything without seeing a scanned invoice first. Ask them to send you the name and number of the school she is going to so you could call and verify. Check the number on the internet if possible. Ask for receipts and police reports. But even these measures do not guarantee that they will not fake the documents.
There are just as many legitimate ladies who need help out there, and the flim-flam girls make all such people look bad. So, in any case, ask for documents and invoices and those people who can produce them, will most probably be legit but even then, ask around and thoroughly research. You can never be free from risks when you help people that you have never met in person, but you can significantly reduce them if you are especially thorough and careful.
Caveat Amator- Let the Lover Beware.

Dispelling the illusions they have about you!

2008-07-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

With the divorce rate soaring in the US, and women becoming less and less friendly by the minute all over the Western world, SE Asia looms for many a Western man as the last great hope on Earth offering every bloke a woman of his dreams regardless of his age, weight, looks or any other such superficial attributes. As long as he is kind and friendly and respectful and understanding ( a euphemism for someone willing to help when needed- which is very often- ), he will find a beautiful young creature that will promise to make him happy for the rest of his life.
Any foreign man who arrives in the SE Asia will probably find a girlfriend within a week, and she will be so gorgeous that he will hardly believe what such great reality can be his. There is no way on earth that a 40, 50, 60 something guy would be able to find an incredibly beautiful model-quality young woman like that back home unless he was a famous actor or president or something like that. “God bless the SE Asia!”, the man will exclaim! “There is no other place like it on the face of the Earth!”
So, what’s the catch? Well, there are a few and the most important is the delusion your SE Asian gf/wife has about you. SE Asians are by and large educated, but not too informed. In the minds of a majority of them, several myths persist, perpetuated by popular rumors and mistaken beliefs that are very hard to budge. If you do not run into such beliefs when in the Philippines, consider yourself lucky. Many of my friends, as well as myself, have experienced them, heard them and had to confront them. Hopefully, you will not have to, but in case you might, here they are:
1) Our area is the poorest area in the world. Consequently every foreigner is richer than an average SE Asian. A foreign bf/husband is therefore rich by birthright.
This is utter BS. Stack up all the 200 odd countries of the world, and the countries in SE Asia will be somewhere in the middle. It is a middle income, middle class area. Sure, there are poor people there, but by and large, things are cheap, and most folks can have three meals a day. The cities have so many cars that the traffic is absolute murder. No donkeys, bicycles or buffaloes on the streets. Skyscrapers and big banks are everywhere. Want to see a poor country? Go to Bangladesh and Pakistan. These are poor. Go to many places in Africa and India. Go to Delhi, and then, go back to any SE Asian capital. It will seem like Tokyo by comparison. Go to parts of Eastern Europe and see poor people shivering in the snow. Even go to poor parts of the US where people do not have electricity and many go hungry. However, most SE Asian girls are not aware of these things. In their minds, just because you are from abroad, you are rich because every place in the world is richer than where they are. And that mean, you have enough money to pay for everything.
2) One dollar = say 34 baht. Therefore, you are 34 times richer, and your salary is 34 times bigger.
Yup, that is what some of them think. Well, then one baht is worth 206 Indonesian Rupiahs. Does that mean that say Thais are 206 times richer than Indonesians? Again, this topic would be very hard to discuss since, most people, unless they are super duper educated would not know anything about how the exchange rate works. They do not understand that 1 : 34 does not mean that now you have a buying power that is 34 times greater. I guess, a lecture on the exchange rate vs. what the money can actually buy is in order when you meet your SE Asian sweetheart.
3) Everyone Abroad Gets Paid in US Dollars, and is Rich!
When I was overcharged for a massage- my Thai g.f. was charged B100 and I was charged B300- I asked them why they were doing that. They said it was based on the exchange rate for the dollar (I was lucky they did not hike it to B3400). When I told them that I did not get paid in dollars, but in Riyals, there was a blank stare, and the person turned her back on me. Foreign countries usually begin and end with America and are somehow controlled by America. Therefore, all foreigners get paid in US dollars and are, therefore, rich.
If it is any consolation to you, do not feel singled out for racial or ethnic reasons, because if it is a Thai who is working overseas, they will be approached in the same way and thought of as rich, as well.
Once SE Asians are employed abroad, exorbitant requests for help start pouring in by “hapless” friends or relatives for all reasons imaginable. A sister is giving birth, a brother had a nervous breakdown, a cousin needs to buy uniforms for school. You are now working abroad, so your salary is in dollars, isn’t it? And isn’t the dollar the highest currency in the world ( it is the Kuwaiti Dinar, by the way) and you are now so rich that you could buy the Moon if you wanted. Never mind that you are now a parking lot attendant in the UK and you barely have enough money to pay your bills and buy food, never mind that you are a nurse mistreated by Middle Eastern employers and often not even paid her salary; never mind that you are a domestic helper in HK cleaning toilets, insulted and humiliated daily. You are now rich, pay up, don’t be such a tightwad. Your friends and relatives need you. If you refuse, sobs and wails start coming in, with threats of suicide and descriptions of how people are going to turn into beggars and prostitutes if you don’t send money right away. If that does not help, they say it is only a loan. Of course, it will never be repaid, but that is beside the point. Find any SE Asian who is working abroad and he will share those same stories with you. But the ones that ask them for help are Equal Opportunity ‘helpees’ and they will try and get money from foreigners and foreign based SE Asians without any discrimination in the least.
When you have a SE Asian gf or wife, and are either living abroad or in her country, often people will beat a path to your door and ask money from both you and her. She is now with a person from abroad, therefore, she has a house stacked with dollars up to the ceiling. What is a few thousand pesos to her?
And guess what happens when you give or loan money? They will come for more and more money ( without repaying the firts loan). How to deal with it? Well, do what the locals do- tell them that you have a sick uncle that needs money for an operation and you just sent him some. Tell them that your mother needs to repair a roof, and you just sent her some. If that does not help, give them a small amount and tell them that it is all you have got, because you have just sent home $200,000 for your brother’s college tuition. Tell them to come back next time and repeat the procedure several times until they give up.
The sad thing in many cases is that because SE Asia is a non-confrontational society by nature of its culture, you can expect little help from your wife/g.f. when you are assaulted with requests for financial assistance. Unless the girl is well traveled with international experience, she will probably share the same illusion about you as well, and just sit there grinning and saying nothing when they ask you for money again and again. So, train her from the beginning to be on your side and educate her in financial planning and financial ‘defense’. Tell her that she is your ally in the war against money grubbing people around you. However, in case it is her own relatives who are there to take you for a ride, you will have a conflict of interests on your hands from which many a separation has ensued. Be careful and play it by ear. No bespoke solution exists for cases like that. Just remember that being angry does not solve anything in that culture.
One truth that repeatedly makes itself obvious to you even in a very friendly and affable country like Thailand, is that no one seriously gives a hoot about you and no one will help you just like it is the case in most places around the world. What you are guaranteed, though, is that your financial power will enable you to live a much better lifestyle there than back home. For your US dollars, that is.
4) A life after meeting a foreign bf or husband will be an endless bed of roses for a young SE Asian girls (and her family) ,and the future will be so bright that dark sunglasses are in order.

Many SE Asian girls post on the Internet and nurture a dream of meeting a nice American guy ( all white people are Americans), falling in love, having beautiful mixed children with whiter skin and higher noses, and being financially well provided after they get married to him. As with love everywhere, it is mostly selfish. It is about how their lives will improve because of your contribution to them. Many are also dreaming for leaving their “poorest country in the world” for America, the land where streets are paved with gold, and where every person has a million dollars in the bank as a birth gift from the government, where salaries are also one million dollars a month, and where they will live in a stately mansion in sunny Hollywood with a fleet of Rolls Royces and ten servants running around the house catering to their every whim. And guess who the owner of the mansion is? On the street paved with gold? It is you, my foreign man. That is why , when you arrive, big smiles greet you, and the lady thinks that finally she has hit a big jack pot. How monstrously naïve! The family prepares for a big celebration of your arrival, you go to dinner that she invites her friends to and you pay for it (Don’t you have a lake at home filled with golden dollars that never run out? Doesn’t your government give you everything just for being alive? )
Sometimes, a smiling young lady is hanging there as a carrot at the end of a stick, a bait to suck you into a poor family that needs support. In SE Asia, there is still a custom whereby children are expected to help their parents and grandparents. Getting a rich American husband will, in their minds, afford them the opportunity to solve the family’s financial woes, once and for all, for generations to come. Enter you, Mr. Lonely Santa Clause.

Oh, do not get me wrong, you will get a faithful and lovely wife and gf with excellent manners and beauty to boot, but boy, will she be naïve as far as your economic status goes! And will she be totally clueless about how hard life is in your country with sky high prices, stifling taxes, grueling hard work, poverty and inequality, racism, social isolation and a host of other ills that she had no ideas existed. They have been watching shows on TV about the rich Orange County families and they know how life in America is. They would like to take part in it. Americans (and Brits, Canadians, all Westerners- they are all Americans, anyway) are the richest humans to ever walk the face of the earth. Being joined to one through marriage will change their lives forever. Americans are generous, romantic, faithful, strikingly handsome, friendly, loving and super duper wealthy. Thank Hollywood for that. You are Tom Cruise, you are Bruce Willis, you are Robert Redford. Yeah, right.
So, how do you deal with it? Well, you will need to provide a long series of lectures and hold “seminars “ with your potential girlfriend/wife, and the people close to her as the audience. You will have to lay your cards on the table and explain things to her that she never knew. Because, if you don’t , a lot of nasty surprises and a separation may be the result. You can also lose your shirt. Not because of the malice of these people, but because of their very naïve ,unrealistic and inflated perceptions of you.
You will need to refute their fundamental and insidious delusions and show them how the world really is. Here are the things you will need to cover:
1) Life abroad is not a bed of roses. Life in America is very hard. You work like a dog , and can get fired for trivial reasons. People are stressed out for the most part. Medical costs are the highest in the world. Quote some prices. Show some numbers- your salary vs. the expenses, taxes, etc.
2) Show her some pictures of bums in America, the Tent City in California, the foreclosures, the South Bronx. Show her how the other half there lives. Show her the homeless shelters. Prepare a good lecture about the good and the bad aspects of life in the West so that she has a realistic view of the whole thing.
3) Show her pictures of how fat some people are and that not every woman is a Baywatch model.
4) Show her the Wikipedia Income Per Capita charts per country to demonstrate to her that hers is not the poorest country in the world- it will be smack in the middle of the chart; and explain to her the Purchasing Power Parity principle- i . e how much money can the citizens’ own money buy within the economy of the country vs. the absolute conversions of incomes from currency to currency. And , for heaven’s sake, explain to her that 34 baht to the dollar does not mean that you make 34 times more money.
5) Incidentally, also, explain to her that Americans are not “a race”, and there is no such thing as a “pure American”. That Americans can be black, white, yellow, brown with all kinds of names and religions and they can speak all kinds of languages and be born in many countries. Even educated SE Asians still harbor the illusion that an American is a tall, blue eyed John Smith born I the USA that and everyone else is not. I have met college educated SE Asian people who would tell me that a Joe Gonzales from Texas was not an American, but a John Schmidt from Colorado was a real American.
6) Show her the document called Perceived Corruption Index by Transparency International ( Google it) to put an end to her ingrained illusion about the hers being the most corrupt country on earth, and that her motherland is not only not the poorest in the world, but it is also pretty average when it comes to corruption. Boy, will her illusions be shattered.
7) Show her divorce statistics in the US and explain that most divorces are initiated by women and not by American men as she will most often think because she has been taught that ‘ foreigners’ ( meaning men) love to get divorced. Remind her that it was ‘foreigners’ such as the French, the Spanish and the Italians who brought the no-divorce concept into the world.
8) Explain to her the advantages of living in her motherland such as close family ties, friendly people, availability of cheap products that everyone can afford, general freedom and non-interference of authorities in private lives of citizens, how you can drink beer in front of your house, sing songs without neighbors calling the police, start small businesses on a shoe string, get good education without going into debt for the rest of your life and things like that.
9) Tell her that the reason Americans do not send money every month to mom and dad is not because they are selfish bastards, but because they believe that people should be independent, plus the government also has various pension plans as well as Medicare and Medicaid, and most parents would not like to receive money from their children, anyway.
10) Tell her that the differences in social mores between your culture and hers are not always due to culture, but to the level of development between two countries- hers becoming an industrial society that still preserves rural traditions of communality ,whereas the US has moved out of the industrial era and into the service and information age. Americans one hundred years ago also had huge families with sons working on the farm and helping mom and dad, but no more.
There are other things that will come up in your discussion with her and other SE Asian people, but, by and large, none of the topics described above have ever been taught to the majority of the population there even on the college level. Most people still wallow in the lack of knowledge related to these matters. It is your ‘responsibility’ to explain those things to your gf/wife and the people around her. If you do not, you will be positioning yourself for years of misunderstandings, false expectations and conflicts.

The Most Beautiful Person in the World.

2008-07-09T06:19:00.000-07:00

We have some 6,000,000,000 plus people on Earth speaking some 5000 languages and having just as many, if not more, cultures. All these cultures have different standards of beauty and handsome-ness.
Hollywood and the Press in the US routinely present sexiest men and women alive, but again, they show people who are famous and are in the limelite.They also show people who are handsome by US standards.
There are also world beauty pageants, but again, they show people that have the means, financial and political, to compete.One example comes to mind-I lived in Thailand in the 1990ies, and they chose a Miss Thailand, and everyone was admiring her beauty. She was US-educated and had money for hairdos, and was of the right socio-economic class. However, I saw girls in rice paddies who were far more beautiful than her, but because they were dressed badly, had no money and were tanned and sallied with mud, no one would look at them.
I was in Oman and one Omani person told me that they were shocked that Brad Pitt was chosen by a contest in the US as a paragon of handsomeness. "He is so pale; his skin is sickeningly white, and his hair is like straw- it is so ugly" . To darker Arab people he did not look handsome at all. To Americans, he did.
In many African countries, fat people are seen as attractive.
Asian movie stars would not even get to the first base in Western pageants of any kind.
The Philippines has Mr Philippines contests, but the winners would not score in the US because they would be too short.
Even with nationally acclaimed stars everywhere-once they are on TV, and their personality is shown to the world, then everyone sees how great- looking they are. However, you put them at a gas station pumping gas or sweeping the streets and few would ever notice it.
Anyway, it is impossible to determine who is because it depends on many factors- most importantly the tastes of the culture that does the determining of beauty/hansomeness, individual tastes, etc. With so may people on Earth,it is impossible to choose.
I would instead propose we choose " the Kindest Person in the World" because most people would agree that those who truly care for others and devote their lives to others are the most handsome/beautiful. There are, also, so few of them that such contests would be much easier to carry out.

How hard would it be to learn Tagalog?

2008-06-19T05:43:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me this question. And he/she also said that he/she is a Spanish speaker and wants to know how hard it is and how long it should take. Here are my answers:

"Although some Filipinos think that their language is closely related to Spanish, I would caution you that only some 10% of vocabulary is Spanish-based,and it is nothing like Spanish grammatically. The good thing is that it is a stacatto-sounding language and it sounds somewhat like Spanish, but then, so does Japanese, in a way.To reply to your question- if you study two hours a day, it will take you somewhere around six months to attain "fluency" as in being able to carry on a conversation without always stopping and without making grave errors in grammar. How hard? Hmm, harder than a European language, but not as hard as studying Arabic or Chinese. There are no tones or weird sounds bar some.It is imperative that you buy a conservative Tagalog study book that covers grammar and verb conjugations and study those seriously. These are not easy at all and require patient drilling. Also, buy as many travel/phrase books as you can so that you can practice many common phrases, and combined with grammar study, all this will enable you to "weave" correct sentences.Tagalog is often spoken "backwards", with many verbs in passive voice, so the sentence structure is very unusual for Westerners. It is hard to initially figure out where the subject and the object are. Many Filipinos, being familiar with both Tagalog and English since childhood, cannot appreciate just how difficult Tagalog can be for foreigners.Another thing to keep in mind is: you need a very good dictionary, and these are hard to find. I had to buy many of those and consult them all because some do not have all the words. Even then, I found it necessary to ask Filipinos for clarifications and translations which only the very educated can provide.So, a part time tutor will be necessary- at least once ot twice a week to help you unravel sentences, compose correct ones and translate meanings.After you spend time speaking and composing sentences, buy magazines, newspapers, books, and read, read, read. It will also require patience and the consistent consulting with your dictionary (and your tutor when words that are not in dictionary, confusing sentences and idioms come up).I also like to read dictionaries from cover to cover and write out words that I will be most likely to use. It takes about a month and a half to do, and then, I just sit there and compose sentences with those words. With all that, yes, about six months will do the trick. But you will be dog tired.Get some people to talk to you in Tagalog as well- have a few hours of conversation practice a week. Taxi drivers are the best :). Chat with Tagalog speakers online.Note 1: Many, if not most foreigners, never study Tagalog, and most Filipinos do not mind. Such foreigners seem to live happily in the country,the people gladly oblige them by speaking to them in fluent English and bending over backwards to help them feel at home because they are such a hospitable race. The foreigners have Filipina wives, oodles of friends, businesses and do just fine without a word in Tagalog for decades. The wives and families are happy to practice and improve their English with these foreigners. So, learning Tagalog is not really practical as it would be, say learning Chinese because few Chinese speak English.It seems that most foreigners think that in an English-speaking country of the Philippines, spending time studying Tagalog is a wasteful and useless undertaking. They seem to think that that time should be spent making money or socializing with Filipinos in English which Filipinos will do gladly. The natives are used to foreigners speaking only English to them and seem to adopt to foreigners ( many other countries expect foreigners to adopt to the locals and learn the language, but not the Philippines). In the case of the most numerous foreign group in the Philippines now- the Koreans, not only most of them cannot speak Tagalog, but they can barely speak English. However, they bring in money and again are as happy as larks there. Sometimes, believe it or not, I regret having studied Tagalog. Somehow, I feel that when I spoke only English, people respected me more, there was a polite space between me and them, and they treated me as a guest of honor. Now, that I speak it, I have all kinds of irritations: people ignore my Tagalog and answer in English- they think they are doing me a favor- I feel like they are treating me as an outsider-which I am sure they are not as they are very accepting people. Some speak to my Filipino companions and not me when I am there and talk about me in front of me in third person ( even though I am the one paying for everything) Some are in shock and scream "Magaling Magaling!" and do not carry on a conversation beyond that. Most immediately ask me if my wife is a Filipina and if she taught me Tagalog- if they only knew how many years I spent studying it with dictionaries and books and tapes and all that. Some laugh at me and say-"Your face is American ( whatever that means), but you speak Tagalog, bwahahahaha!".All that can be very frustrating.But the very poor people who did not go to school are grateful and happy and answer to me in Tagalog. And if you want to work to help poor masses of people there as a missionary or a volunteer of sorts, knowing Tagalog will be priceless.Tagalog is a window into the "soul" and "heart" of the people if those things matter to you. To many foreigners these do not , and they bring money into the country, get married, buy houses and businesses and live happy lives and never speak Tagalog. Which sometimes makes me wonder if I have wasted all that time.Note 2: From the middle of the Philippines down the most popular language is Cebuano which is as different from Tagalog as Romanian would be from Spanish. In Cebu, Tagalog is more of a foreign language than English, so if you plan to move to Cebu, you might as well study Visaya or stick with English as people are very fluent in it.Consider all this before you begin studying that difficult language and examine your goals very well as it will be more of a "romantic" than a utilitarian study.Anyway, to get back to your question the answer is: it will be moderatly hard and will take 6 months to year if you study 2 hours a day as I outlined above".

How Good are Filipinos at English?

2008-06-19T05:01:00.000-07:00

Like most colonies of English speaking nations ( such as of the US, Oz, Nz, UK), they speak their language at home, but are taught in English at school, and it is the language of the work place. The ones who are nearly native would be all those who went to college which, if I am not mistaken, is somewhere around 25-30%. The ones who cannot speak beyond just a few words, are somewhere around 20%, the rest are somewhere in between. Because school and college curriculum is copied after the US. those who go to school, learn everything in English ( unlike in, say, Vietnam, where the medium of instruction is VNese)

Because Filipinos can speak English, they are given preference in overseas hire and are sent/invited to other English-speaking ( countries/or places that were UK colonies such as HK, USA ( lol) Canada, Singapore, even the Middle East (which was not, arguably,truly colonized, but where college education is also in English).

Filipinos have no prejudice against English as a rule, and do not equate speaking it with losing their national culture. They were quickly able to adopt English and use it very well,unlike say, the other US Commonwealth -Puerto Rico where very nationalistic "natives" practically refuse to learn it and insist on keeping shools and work place Spanish- speaking.

Curiously enough, because most Filipinos shuttle back and forth between home, the US, HK, Singapore and the ME, they often form an illusion that well, the entire world speaks English, and that English is universal. They think that places like Japan and Taiwan are strange because of lack of English fluency. This is clearly a misconception because the majority of the world ( some 65%) is still non-English-speaking, and many countries very zealously protect their culture against "the Anglo Saxon imperialism".

Most also do not know the little known fact that there are more English speakers in Asia than in Europe. It leads to funny situations where a Filipino whose English skills are poor feels shy to talk to a white person for the fear of embarrassing him/herself in front of a native speaker. But very often the white person is a German whose English is even worse than that of the Filipino, and both are now shy to express themselves, each one thinking the other to be the "real" English speaker.

Most Filipinos have never been to Eastern/Central Europe, Korea, China, Latin America and other huge areas where English is still not popular.When they do go to those places and stay there for a while, they begin to feel lonely, and upon seeing English speakers, they run to them to greet them as their brothers-in-tongue.

Because of English fluency, Filipinos seem to have more affinity with Western, English-speaking nations than with many supposedly sisterly Asian nations such as Thailand or Cambodia of which they seem to know very little.

Silent Night in Saudi Arabia

2008-01-11T23:33:00.000-08:00

Silent Night

Christmas is a noisy holiday and a Christmas night is anything but silent. The only silent night was probably that of the original Christmas Eve. Since then, most Christmases have been uproarious celebrations.
In the US Christmas preparations start after Thanksgiving, and Christmas carols begin reverberating throughout the country at that time saying to us- “it is December, what have you done with your life this year?” In Catholic countries, the advent of the Holiday Season starts even earlier and you hear Jingle Bells or their local equivalent starting as far ahead as late September. For three months thereafter you are reminded every day of the fact that the year is almost over, the year is coming to an end. And you then ask yourself: What have I accomplished? Have I achieved that I had set out to do?
No matter how hard I have been working, I always feel frustrated- I feel that this Christmas, someone is having a better time than me, is with a better family with more money, or with a new girlfriend, a new job, and is now sitting somewhere at a Christmas table with a big smile on his face while I stand there holding a bag with nothing going for me. I am the only one who has accomplished very little, a loser, someone who, during this holiday season, will only be counting losses and dreams that have not been realized.
A few days after a clamorous and depressing Christmas, the New Year celebrations begin. Crowds cheering, ushering the prosperous new 2000 something-something again, but I am again sitting here sucking on my thumb and wondering “what have I done?”.
Enter Saudi Arabia. One of the very few countries where public celebrations of Christmas are not allowed. There are no carols, no trees, no” magic”, no Santa. And no New Year celebrations, either. No crowds cheering and chanting. No giant balls falling down. Just silence. No reminders that I have not attained anything- well, actually I have- I have saved more money during a year in Saudi Arabia that I did in a decade of Christmases in other places.
Restaurants are quiet and empty on the New Years’ Eve because their calendar is not Gregorian, December 31st is not in any way special to them. NO people waiting for the clock to strike 12 midnight.
Western employees are usually allowed to take the Christmas and the New Year days off, but they not celebrate those days in a noisy and rambunctious fashion, or even let anyone know that they are celebrating it, lest they offend the locals.
So, one invites some friends to a buffet at a local hotel, the dining room is empty, no one is having a good time except us and the city is dead silent. I am the only one throwing a party and I feel great. Christmas in Saudi Arabia is a tranquil and silent night.

A Journey into the Future of the Fresh Old Past.

2008-01-07T02:56:00.000-08:00

My arrival in Tokyo in 1990 and my subsequent two years there, impressed me so much with their freshness of change that it all forever remained as “something new” in my memory. New people, new customs, new food, a new girlfriend, new trips to new cities- it was all so ultramodern, futuristic, it made me feel like I had been born again. The house I stayed in, the parking lot next to it, the homes of the neighbors I used to visit, it all stayed forever au-courant in my consciousness. Plus, the Japanese future-oriented life philosophy made me feel like I was always on the cutting edge of everything, boldly moving into the ever-unfolding afterward.

When I was in Japan in 2007, I decided to visit my old “haunts” and I was in deep shock. Since part of me always lived in that futuristic and forever in-the-present memory of my past in Japan, upon landing at my old subway station, I was filled with deep depression. I used to live and work in the Musashino area of Tokyo, and it became like my second home, but now, I could barely recognize the place.

Well, it was natural because such a long time did go by, but because it did not feel like seventeen years had elapsed, I felt like I was transported into a strange cold “future” of that present-like past. The station had been rebuilt, and I could not find the exit out of it for a very long time. The main street looked completely different, most stores that I used to frequent had been gone; they had widened the roads and I was raoming around wondering if it was the same street that I used to live in; but the biggest shock was when I went to see the house where I spent one year. I could barely find it, and the houses around it were also gone for the most part. Not only that, the new houses built in their place looked old and jaded with dirty streaks of rain water marks all over them. Old moss drew ugly designs on the lower part of the walls. The wood of many a door looked old and rotting. I wondered around like a ghost in a ghost town.

I went to the university where I used to teach and, because it was summer vacation and there were no people there, it looked sad and deserted. Where were all those students I taught? All those teachers that I was friends with? Did 17 years really go by? You mean those 18 year old students were now 35? And the ones who were 23 were now 40? You mean the 67 year old professor who took me around Tokyo was now 84? Was he even alive?

There is a new sign in Roman alphabet proclaiming the name of the university- it used to be in Kanji before. There are new buildings around it, streets that look new. But the memory of 1990 is there so fresh and so recent, like it was yesterday and, as if, in just a few months I have been transported to a distant future I which I now reside with the freshness of yesteryear suddenly becoming a moldy, moss-covered old past.

I approach the guard booth and sheepishly smile at the watchman inside of it. “ I was a teacher here seventeen years ago”. He looks at me and just says, “ Ooooooooohhhhh!” There is a strange look in his eyes: “How long ago! You must be feeling very nostalgic about the whole thing”. I bow and leave. Get on the Shinjuku bound train and never look back. The whole thing was sad to the max. Super sad. Visiting such old homes is not for those with weak hearts or a sentimental streak on tier character. It can depress the living lights out of you. For the future oriented people like myself, it was not a happy experience.

Misc

2008-01-06T02:30:00.000-08:00

Misc.

Dean Read was one of the most prominent examples of a Western expat who had discovered that by changing countries, one could completely change one’s life. He was a failed American singer who defected to East Germany and built a great career there by becoming a movie star, a TV performer, a great mass motivator and a peace activist. He did admittedly get too involved in politics and teed some people off in the process which caused his untimely only two years prior to the coming down of the Berlin Wall. While I do not advocate a politically dangerous step like that, his life illustrates just how much can be attained by simply changing a location instead of trying to change one’s self. For more information about his very interesting life, please look up Dean Read on www.Wikipedia.com and www.youtube.com.

…

In some SE Asian countries, one is virtually guaranteed a girlfriend if one is willing to support her by giving her a small monthly allowance. However, it is all well and good until she gets sick (or tells you that she is sick). While the medical costs in those countries are not that high, they can add up very quickly and significantly eat away at your savings account. A person can be sick for an indefinite period of time. If you get a g.f. whom you decide to maintain financially, consider getting basic medical insurance for her which, as a rule, is not very expensive there.

….

Immigrant Ghetto is Not Such a Bad Thing

2008-01-06T02:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I think that bilingual education in the US is a good idea. Plus, living in immigrant communities is also not such a bad idea. Think about it- if you try and learn English, it does not mean that you will get more respect and/or your life will be so much easier. The native locals can be nasty to those who speak with an accent and can treat them with utmost scorn, as they would sub-humans or mental retards. It can often happen in stores, very much so in social life and social situations and, especially, on the phone. People who are struggling with their English, get hung up on, laughed and yelled at and spoken to in irritated or patronizing tones. Why be humiliated like that if you can speak with someone in your own language who will treat you as normal human being, plus, you can accomplish so much more and so much faster if you call bilingual operators or other people who can speak your tongue? If you need an airline ticket now, and or have some medical emergency now, do you have time for hemming and hawing on the phone and listening to people on the other end of the phone line talk to you like you have the Down Syndrome or worse?

Many immigrant communities also provide the contacts, protection, advice and discount products and services that the much lauded American mainstream does not. Immigrants network, they have loan clubs and a great deal of communal support. They have access to cheaper lawyers, doctors and bankers that can provide every service for much smaller fees. Also, there is often more security and often less probability of being ripped off or overcharged by a fellow immigrant if the community is especially tight knit. However, if one gets into the often Protestant mainstream, one may not always get the same opportunities in America as one would if one stayed in the immigrant ghetto. The Mainstream is cold, ruthless, dog eat dog and very unsupportive. Prices and fees are higher. And if you are an immigrant, you can be taken to the cleaners by many an unscrupulous operator who will then disappear into the Wide Blue American Yonder never to be found again. There is little solidarity among fellow mainstreamers but a very big desire to screw the next guy over.

“Mainstreaming” is good for some things like certain obtaining certain high paying jobs after getting a degree or for asking directions on the street or in a case when people of your ethnicity are too few or too many, but in most cases, one should not discount the help that one can get in many an immigrant community that a regular Joe Black or Joe White often cannot hope for.

Tips for Russians who are States-bound

2008-01-05T23:57:00.000-08:00

1) Do not assume that every American you meat has an IQ of 180 and is a super honest, super noble, super friendly person who in addition to that knows a great deal about your country.
2) America is not skyscrapers from coast to coast. There are actually rural areas there too and there are even one story houses in the US.
3) Yes, people who are Black, Hispanic and Asian and those with names other than John Smith, Michael Brown, etc,. are Americans, too. And the words "Hispanic" and "Spaniard" are not synonymous.
4) Yes, Black people speak English and can drive a car ( and many even have cars) and Indians, in fact, can talk.
5) No, the sun does not rise in the West in America.
6) No, you cannot drive across America in a car chuck full of weapons with barrels and muzzles sticking out of the windows and not get asked questions by the highway police.
7) Yes, flowers do emit a smell in America. And yes, there are fresh fruit and vegetables and even brown bread available.
No, Russia is not the only country that has birch trees. There are plenty in the US and Canada.
9) Not all parties in the US are sex and drug orgies with wild multiple partner swapping activities. Some are actually quite decent, normal events with people just having some wine and cheese and normal polite conversations.
10) Yes, while the salaries tend to be around $3000 and up for most people, it does not mean that they are rich. Expenses are also high.
11) Just because one gets 24 rubles to the dollar, it does not mean that Americans are 24 times richer. Most do not have $1,000,000 in the bank.
12) No, you cannot stop most people on the streets and ask directions in Russian and hope to be understood. America is not a Soviet republic that has to learn Russian to speak with you.
13) No, it is not OK to refer to Black people as "N----" and to Asian people as "narrow-eye" in any kind of decent conversation.
14) Yes, they still associate your country with Communism just like you still think all Germans are still Nazis. Expect being asked if you are a KGB spy.
15) You are one of the few groups that are still safe for Hollywood to pick on because you are white and have no money/political clout in the US so they will be making all kinds of negative movies about you. Go the country at your own risk as you will be called a Commie and Mafia so get ready. It is called freedom of speech.
16) No , the girls do not all look like Baywatch models and a guy cannot just walk up to a girl on the street and ask her to go sleep with him after which they just go to the nearest hotel and have sex.
17) Canada is north of the USA; it is not, as you may think, a Scandinavian country. Yes they play hockey but it does not make them Scandinavians. You can actually drive from the USA directly into Canada.
1 Just because ( if you are a man) people ask you to use a deodorant and shower more often than once a week, it does not mean that they want to turn you into a woman or a gay man.
19) No, England and America are not exactly like the European Russia and Siberia, although if Siberia becomes independent it will be something like that, although there will be no ocean between them.
20) No, hot dogs are not made from dog meat and distributed when there is food shortage in the US ( which often happens among the poor and the black).
21) Americans speak the English language (po-Angliski") and not the American language ( po-Amerinaski). When buyng books to study, do not look for "Amerikanzkiy Yazyk" books.
22) When you arrive in the US, do not , as the first thing, attempt go to Harlem to distribute candy among poor black people. They may not like your patronizing gesture as much as you might think. And please learn what the words "Yo, H-nkey!" mean.
23) Not all people in Britain are English. There is a difference between British and English and Britain and England no matter what your media says.
24) If you are a man, do not kiss other men or hug them. They may think you are gay.
25) Yup, "Caucasian" in the US mean people that look like you. Even if you are not from the Caucasus mountains.
26) Be careful not to crash your nose into net screens on doors and windows.
27) Americans usually do not have blanket cases, just pillow cases. You will have hard time finding those in the US.
28) The words "benzene" and "variant" do not have the same meanings in English and are false cognates. For the first , use "gasoline", for the second, use " option", or "choice".
29) Do not laugh at the fact that Americans do in fact consider beer to be an alcoholic beverage, that potheads smoke marijuana leaves ( and not the the cut up dried cannabis sap) and that people actually dilute vodka with Seven Up, put a lemon i it, and still think of themselves as he-men.

Non Performing Personal Loans and Other Pains

2007-12-31T02:28:00.000-08:00

In lots of countries, when you live in the city, you will run into poor people who will ask you for a loan.
Being a good person who wants to help local people, you will probably be happy to oblige. And, most probably, the following pattern will repeat itself over and over again with surprising regularity:
1) They ask you for money, a certain amount which is normally above what they need. To elaborate- they really need $10, but they will ask you for $20. What’s it to you? You have a lot of money. Your country is so rich!
2) You loan them $20. They are very grateful and tell you that they will pay the money back as soon as they can.
3) In a couple of days they are back, and you are happy to see them. Aren’t they back because they want to repay the money? Nope. They are back to borrow even ’ more’ money. “What??? Wait a minute! You still have not paid me back. Pay me back!”
4) They get angry! “Is that how you are? You do not want to help poor people? “
“But I have helped you already! Where is my money? Pay me back! “
“I have no money, I need more money”.
“Sorry, I am not going to lend you any more money because you have not returned the first loan. Plus why should I now extend a revolving credit line to you? I am not a bank.”
“You stingy, mean, heartless bastard! I will never talk to you again”. They slam the door and leave you holding the bag.
Your money is gone, your “ friend” is gone, and you are being accused of being stingy into the bargain. After you have helped them out? The nerve of those people!
So you have learned your lesson. Loan money and make an enemy (and lose your money). How about next time I just give it away? So you do. They ask you for money and you smilingly give them the amount. And you keep your friend. Well, then he unashamedly comes back and asks for more money, and tells other people that you are kind and you like to help the poor. Soon more people come to you or contact you and ask you for charity. They obviously don’t know the meaning of the word “enough”.
Why is this happening? Well, because you are mostly dealing with people who are only one or two generations removed from being peasants or worse, peasants themselves. To these, most of their values revolve around land (which is usually free and clear, not taxed and is inherited from the ancestors) and other such agricultural concepts- a fishpond, a rice field, a chicken farm, etc. Money is something that is secondary to these agrarian things, and is naturally produced by selling them the way cow produces milk. People in a village would gladly share milk with you, but not cows since the latter is a producer while the former is the product. A product costs little compared to how much a producer would cost.
Similarly to that, money is somewhat of a trivial, mobile commodity that is naturally generated every time you market agricultural commodities, it and does not have the same almost sacred meaning that it has to people who come from the urban background and who have no land to fall back upon.
Many of such rural people, lost in the city jungle of many a Third World nation are happy to meet a kind foreign soul like you because their own urban folks will neither lend nor give them anything at all. But foreigners are kind, aren’t they?
Yes, foreigners are naively kind. Because they expect those peasants to honor their financial obligations the way a Western urbanite would, but the rice or potato farmers were not trained to do it, and have no such concepts. Even if the foreigner comes from a rural background, he is still very mindful of the value of money because in his country, he is heavily taxed and usually has a mortgage to pay.
Slick and corrupt urban dwellers of many a Third World capital will rob you by cheating you in business or by forcing you to pay bribes; while its poorer classes will rob you by endlessly asking you for “loans” ( and grants) that will never be repaid. In both cases you end up getting screwed and without too many friends to depend on.
Actually, after having lived in such blood sucking countries for a while one starts missing home. Yes, people were not too friendly or helpful there, but they usually returned personal loans, did not ask for grants and were more or less honest when it came to business. Yes, indeed, there is something to be said about all those “unfriendly” countries that we leave behind to become a miserable owner of non-performing loans in the smiling Third World lands.

Hobnobbing with the High Class

2007-12-31T02:26:00.000-08:00

Meeting high class people is not that hard in lots of countries because only they can afford to fly, stay at the hotels you stay at and eat at restaurants you eat at. So, when flying around, say, India, the people that are on the airplane or in the same hotel with you are often industrialists, journalists, TV personalities and other such distinguished characters. If you go to an Italian restaurant in Bombay, you may witness a Bollywood deal between a movie producer and a young actress. When flying from Los Angeles to Manila, the person in the seat next to you will sometimes be a US based correspondent of a major Manila newspaper.
I once checked the list of the people who were staying at the $26-a-night hotel that I was staying at in Cebu and they were from TV studios, some were executives and CEOs of big local companies, beauty queens and once, there was even a mayor of town with a military escort.
Last time I was flying to Kenya, the guys next to me were bank managers of a major Ugandan bank.
In Thailand, people who go to MacDonald’s to eat dress for the occasion as if they were at some solemn event and they look down their noses at you because, to you, MacDonald’s is fast food for average folks and you are not dressed like you are attending a cocktail party at the Prime Minister’s palace.

2007-12-29T03:34:00.000-08:00

Loving Her in Her Language

Doesn’t it sound cute and feminine when you have an English speaking man falling in love with a Japanese or a Russian girl and speaking in English to her, and her answering him in faltering English?

All the verbal expressions of love between the two people are in English. The dating terminology, the marriage proposal and the bedroom expressions are also in English.
Eventually, he sponsors her for the visa and she comes to live with him in his country, forgets her language and the kids grow up fully American (or whatever).

There is a trend that I hear more and more about, which is that of a man learning the language of the woman and courting her in it, expressing love in it and fully developing the relationship in it. Yes, red blooded Americans and other nationals speaking words of love in Chinese, Japanese, Russian, French and Tagalog. In most cases, the experience is beyond one’s wildest dreams.
For one, by speaking the local language, particularly if one is skillful in its romantic applications, one opens up enormous markets of available females who are not English-speaking. In many so called developing countries there are great many ladies who are quite elegant and amorous but who are not English speaking and do not want to be. They are also more traditional than those who can speak English. There are countries where females can be well-versed in various poetic arts but who are clumsy when it comes to expressing themselves in English. It often stilts the development of love on the lady’s part.

If you can speak her language, though, it changes things tremendously. In most cases, opportunities multiply a thousand-fold if not more than that.

A Western man who speaks Chinese, Tagalog, Spanish or Russian is often seen as extremely sexy by the local women because of the accent and the innocent “green-horn” quality that he exhibits. He is new in the country, he is struggling, the woman my feel like this is her chance to appear helpful and protective and serve as the guide to the man. She also does not appear to be naïve and clumsy in her own country, something that she often would feel if she were to speak English to you.

Some native English speakers still like to imagine they live in the imperial times and are running the place although times have come to discard this attitude. Many do not, though. And it is their choice, again. I do recommend that you learn the local language.

Do not make the mistake, however, of thinking that you can be poor and speak the language and still score easily. Very few women like poor foreigners even if these speak local languages. It is far easier for a guy who does not speak the local language but who has money/position to score than a dorky overseas indigent with a gift of gab. However, a guy with money who speaks the language to boot wins almost every time.

There are exceptions to the rule in some cases. Most of those happen in Japan (and , apparently, China and Korea). Many Japanese women want to meet a “gaijin” so that they could practice their English and learn about foreign cultures. They want to meet someone who would treat them better than an average Japanese, and be different from one. In many cases it would upset them if you could speak Japanese (which is very often better than their English) and knew their culture better than they knew yours and behave like a Japanese would. They will probably declare you to be setteru, meaning something like “ boring” or “square”.

However, when all is said and done, by and large, you will still have far greater opportunities to find love and develop it to unprecedented levels if you could speak the lady’s language and loved her in it. You will also discover that while English is logical, Spanish, Russian and French seem to have a much richer vocabulary when it comes to expressing intimate human feelings.
No ne of this will make you exempt from having to teach the lady English if she is to ever go to your country to live and work, though. Love is love, but English is imperative for business.

Maybe you can become a happy bilingual family, one of the few, apparently.

Staying in the M.E. Longer than Planned

2007-12-23T00:34:00.000-08:00

Work in the Middle East for a few years, then retire?

Possible, if you are lucky.

When I was offered a job in the oil rich Middle East, I thought that it was a quick path to early retirement. Hey, save some 40K a year, after three four- years it is 120-160K, put it in the bank at some 7% interest than just kick back and relax somewhere on a tropical island.

It works in theory and probably works for some lucky people, but the following things happened after the offer: upon my arrival at the destination I learned that the contract was only good for six months, even though I had signed a two year contract. So, six months later, we were all laid off. We were also not issued a “Letter of Non Objection” by our company- a document without which you cannot work for another employer in that country for as long as three years. We were then sent out of the country. At home we would be liable for income tax on our income because we had not fulfilled the 335 day overseas residency requirement to be exempt from US taxes.

So, one looks for a new job, and then, heads for another Middle Eastern country. If one is lucky and gets hired immediately, well, then it is not a problem. If it takes time to find another job, then one needs to spend time and money while one looks for it. Not all salaries are the same and some countries pay less than others. Some companies in some countries require that you pay for your ticket to go for an interview, then, they do not reimburse you. In some other countries, like Oman, it is very difficult to live without a car and a car needs to be rented if you want to get around. It all eats into your savings budget.

In short, various administrative and contract snags, layoffs, broken promises, arbitrary firings, acts of God and gaps in contracts result in you spending longer time saving your big sum of money than you had originally planned. Add to this family emergencies such as disease and death of relatives back home, and you having to fly back in case you need to have your driver’s license renewed, and before you know, you spend another year and then another year in the Middle East.

There are other, not so negative factors, as well that may make you stay in the Middle East longer than you had originally wanted. One is the generally high status that you have here- you are a somebody; at least, more of a somebody than you were back home. You have people coming and cleaning your room, you can even have a cook/driver if you wish and if will cost you very little. A huge bag of laundry which includes slacks and shirts is only some $10 for everything. Also, one does not work very hard and one is not taxed. That means one never really has to worry about not having enough cash in your pocket. The money that you used to spend on taxes are now burning a hole in your pocket, so you start spending. Vacations are long and one can live like a rich man in all those cheaper countries. Soon, on one extended trip to such a cheaper country, one acquires a girlfriend/wife/concubine to whom one now sends money regularly. One also buys property back home, and now has mortgage payments to keep up with. And as one gets older it becomes harder and harder to leave as one’s employability diminishes.

One of my coworkers who had gotten a job in Iraq and saved as much as 150K in a very short time, went back home and then headed back to Iraq again

To summarize, quite a few people who initially planned to come and work in the Middle East for a few years stayed much longer, sometimes as long as decades. So, please be aware of that as it can happen to you, too. And, it may not be such a bad thing , after all.

How to Learn a Foreign Language in Six Months to a Year.

2007-12-16T03:59:00.000-08:00

How to Learn a Foreign Language in Six Months to a Year.

I have heard of people “picking up” languages, but I still do not know how it is done. Maybe kids can do it because they are amongst other kids playing and using the language many hours a day. They also do not have to worry about being embarrassed and laughed at. I am not a kid and most probably, you are not one, either.

Many people end up in foreign countries but do not know of how to learn the language. Many buy books and tapes, but soon give up. Few ever become fluent. The task of mastering or even getting by in another language strikes them as too big and they just do not know the mechanics of how to go about it.

I am not good at languages and have no natural gift for them. I have always found them difficult and never liked studying them. I have also never been able to pick them up. However, now I am very fluent in three and have reasonable fluency in another 4-5 and can get by fairly well in two more. That means 10. How I did it? I studied them very, very seriously and did not try to “pick them up”.

Once, when I was 6 years old I lived in a foreign language environment for three months but still, was not able to learn more than just a few phrases. I just do not have the ability. So, that means that I need to learn them, not acquire them. Well, as a matter of fact I was in KL this past summer, believe it or not. I like

I have devised a step by step system that has helped me become reasonably fluent in a language within six months to a year without spending a fortune. The method is fairly straightforward and it has worked for me and I do not think of myself as very bright in that area.

Before you start, keep in mind that you will not make any significant progress unless you are willing to study at least 2 hours every day without any breaks. If you only study a few times a week and only some 30 minutes, your progress will be minimal. On weekends, you

Anyway, to make the long story short, this is what you do. Assuming that you are going to study another European language with the Roman alphabet, such as Spanish, your first step should be this:

1) Buy on the Internet, or borrow from your local library an old or conservative-style book titled something like “Basic Spanish Grammar”, “Introduction to Spanish Grammar”, “Beginning Spanish Grammar” (or French or German or the grammar of whatever other language you are studying). Grammar is the skeleton of the language upon which you will build the muscles of vocabulary and everything else. It should have some 100-250 pages. Study it thoroughly and several times if necessary. Do all the exercises in it and drill yourself on the verbs. Study them the way you studied the multiplication table when you were a kid. Repeat them, memorize them, until you can recite all the conjugations in your sleep. Time of study- 1-2 months. During this time, you should not study anything else)*.

*I am assuming that you are not yet living in the country where the language is spoken or are living in it but can get by in English. If you are living in a country where you need to learn the language immediately, buy a good phrase book and use it. I will talk about the use of phrase books later.

This part of your study is gruelling and boring and you will just have to grin and bear with it. Do not be alarmed if you do not understand everything. If need be, hire a tutor who could explain to you the niceties that you cannot yet comprehend. If you still cannot understand some parts of it, just skip them. You will worry about those later. It is better to speak a language that is broken in some places than not to speak it at all. If you cannot get a tutor, get online and go into newsgroups dealing with that culture or Yahoo answers. Someone will explain things to you for free.

2) After the grammar study, buy books for children in the language, some phrase books for travelers, a good dictionary and a language set that contains tapes.

Listen to tapes every day when driving to work, doing household chores or even sitting in the bathroom to learn the pronunciation. Do not worry if you do not pronounce it 100% correctly, just keep doing it. All the errors will eventually be corrected in the months to come.

On one day, you may want to read and translate a story for kids and on the other day, read several pages of a travel book and act out conversations with yourself taking different parts in a “play”. Imagine as if it was happening with you. Imagine a restaurant, a hotel, smell it hear it, see it. Become all the people in the conversation. Utter the phrases in those dialogues with the same emotions as you would if you spoke English. Become an actor. Do not be ashamed since nobody will hear you except yourself.

Most phrase books now have dialogues in different daily situations and a whole array of useful phrases. Learn those by rote. While some people believe that learning by rote is not good, I say it is OK because the phrases which you will learn can later be used in wider discourse which you will be able to carry on because of your previous knowledge of grammar. Set phrases are conversation building blocks, too, just like singular words are.

When reading books for children, a great deal of new vocabulary will pop up. Look it up. Don’t worry if you have to do it fifty times a day or more. Just look those words up. Once you reach some 20-30 words, stop reading. Sit down and write a story about yourself with these words. The story may look ridiculous to you and grammatically incorrect but it is OK. No one except your will read it. When composing this story make sure that other words in a sentence explain or hint at its meaning. You may also draw a small picture or a symbol above the word to remind yourself about its meaning.

Now, that your story is finished, read it a couple of times to yourself while imagining the feeling, or look, taste, smell or touch of every word. Some words like “a fox” will have a certain color, look, and possibly some smell and a touch association with it. While you may have never petted a fox, you may probably imagine that it would kind of feel like a dog. So, while reading your story to yourself, you will also change your voice intonation to reflect the emotion that goes with that word. The word “disappointment” will be uttered in an exaggeratedly tearful voice, the word “fox” in a sly- sounding voice and so on. While reading the sentences in your story in an emotionally charged way while imagining the emotion, picture, smell, sound, taste or touch of each one of them, you will be building mental associations of those words with the things and concepts that they represent. The words will thus sink into your mind and stay there indefinitely. If you are willing to devote three hours every day to this vocabulary-building practice, you will be able to memorize as many as 200 words a day.

Your question may be: Will I retain those words and if so, how many percent will I retain? The answer is: you will retain all of them, except that your brain will eventually allocate them to different levels of memory.

Here they are:

Active memory: here you have words that you can both recognize and use. These will be words that you will be utilizing every day related to work, study, play, food, etc. You will have an arsenal of vocabulary at the tip of your tongue that you will easily pull out and use in sentences any time you wish. Maybe some 20% of the vocabulary you learn will stay there.

Passive memory: here you will have words that you will recognize when reading and listening, however, you will have hard time recalling and using those by yourself. As you read and listen more and encounter these words more and more often, they will move into your active memory. Maybe some 60% of the words you learn will stay there.

Hidden memory: some of the words and phrases you learn will stay in a special brain “chamber” from which they will not be easily recovered. In practical terms, you will see those words and say- hmm, I saw this word before but I can’t remember it. You will look it up in a dictionary again and probably say’ Oh, yes, I remember it now!’ After having been reminded of its meaning, you will then “move “it into the passive memory and if you see it more often, it will move into the active “arsenal” of words.

You must have heard the saying” If you don’t use it, you lose it”. From my experience what happens is: you don’t really lose it but the information simply moves into the hidden memory and if you go back to the language again, and start using it, the words again migrate into the higher memory levels.

The idea is to carry out the children’s books reading/vocabulary/phrase book and tape listening study for some 3 months while doing it 2-3 hours every day. After you have finished all the materials, you may want to review /reread them again or, if you are bored, by some more. As long as you devote so much time daily to your study, you are guaranteed to learn.

Keep in mind one thing: vocabulary is not infinite, it is finite. You will need maybe 2000 words to carry on most conversations, and some 5000-8000 to read most books and magazines. If you can memorize 50 words a day, then you will only need 40 days to create a working vocabulary and some 3-4 months to read most books. However, because many words will still be stored in the passive and hidden memory, you will not be able to use them all immediately, but after 3-6 months, you will see a huge difference in your ability to read and use the language.

3) Conversation weaving, theatre and listening.

OK, now you are ready for some serious action. Hire a tutor and spend a few hours a week with them “weaving” a conversation. You compose sentences on different topics, the tutor talks back to you and corrects your grammar, pronunciation and vocabulary, you write down corrected sentences and keep talking. As the need to use new vocabulary comes up, either look up new words in a dictionary, and/or ask your tutor. Write the words down and review the notes after the class.

Also, with your tutor, act out different situations that will be taking place while you are in a foreign country- renting a hotel, going through the immigration, being at a party, ordering food at a restaurant, taking a taxi, bargaining at a market, etc. Sit down with yourself and think of some twenty or so most commonly occurring situations in which you will likely be participating.

At this time, also, you will need to learn conversation fillers and words that help you communicate with the speaker when you are not sure what to say. This will create an illusion of fluency at first, and later, fluency itself.

Please ask your tutor or anyone else about the equivalent of these phrases in the target language and memorize those equivalents well.

Well,

Oh, I see

How do you say it in ( language)?

Let me see/let me think...

Could you please repeat what you have just said?

Hmm, I am not sure what you mean

What do you call it? It’s... what do you call it...

What do you mean?

What is the meaning of this word?

Please explain

I don’t know how to say it in (language).

Excuse me...

I beg your pardon

Got it!

I don’t get it

I am confused.

It’s clear to me/not clear to me.

You know...like

You see...

Oh, yes. I have a question.

May I ask you?

Say it again, please
What was that, again?

I am sorry, I did not understand you.

Hmm.

Once you learn these, you will have enough phrases to keep the exchange of information flowing more or less smoothly. You will learn to put “fillers” inside sentences while you are thinking of what to say next.

If the language you are studying is in the Roman alphabet, you should now go and get some theatrical works in it. Plays, that is. You can find them on the Internet or get them from a local library or buy them. Next, act them out. You will be all the characters in those plays. Adjust your voice and intonation to approximate what each personage in the play represents. Become the old man, old woman, the child in it, etc. Imagine it all happening on a stage in your mind, of course. Live it. When you encounter new words or expressions that you cannot look up in the dictionary, post them on internet newsgroups or Yahoo Answers.

Now, you should do one hour of theatre a day and watch TV/listen to the radio for another hour. Or be exposed to any kind of language expressions, be it speeches, long monologues, etc. You may not understand everything at first, but slowly and naturally your ears will get used to it and begin distinguishing words from each other and understand sentences and discourse. Just sit there, listen to it, and bear with it. After several weeks, the language will start clearing up. If you have the opportunity to be in groups of people speaking it, stay as exposed to it as you can and as often as you can. Your ears will learn to follow the language by themselves.

4) Dictionary reading and copying. Now you are ready for the toughest part. This is one strategy that I have never seen anyone do and have never heard any linguist recommend. But it works. Take a dictionary, go over every page of it and write out the words that you think you will be using or will need to know. Make your own notebook. Then make sentences with those or stories in which they will be incorporated. Some of these sentences and stories may be ridiculous but you are the only one that will see them. Do not worry if you may sometimes use the words wrong. Draw pictures or symbols above the words and read the resulting text/picture combinations trying to describe.

Idioms and slang: similarly, obtain another dictionary of slang and idioms or if these are two separate ones, get them both.

You will need one thousand of idioms and maybe a thousand of slang items in your vocabulary to finally be able to have an almost complete knowledge of conversational language and appear cool and natural. Read that dictionaries several times and compose sentences with them. Imagine yourself using those in real life situations. If by now, you are still not totally exhausted from studying the regular dictionary and transcribing it, spend another couple of months doing the same with idioms and slang.

After all that, you should be fluent in the language more or less.

Note: while I prefer concentrating on one subject only for several months, some people prefer doing one day of vocabulary, one day of grammar, one day of theatre or even three subjects in a day. As long as you study 2 hours or more a day, I say it does not matter how you distribute these areas in your schedule. The important thing is for them to be covered. Obviously, you cannot yet begin advanced studies of theatre during the first months of your learning period, so you will just have to look at what you can combine based on your ability at this time (that is if you wish to combine anything at all)

Learning a foreign language in the way I have described to you is not easy, and not for the people who want to be entertained or who want to ‘enjoy’ the study process. It has not been easy for me to learn languages this way, but the results have been absolutely phenomenal. If you are ready for some hard work, and are willing to tough it out for six months to a year, you will be fluent, and many new doors will open for you.

PS: Special Note for Languages with Difficult Alphabets:

If you want to learn how to speak Arabic or Japanese and do not want to be bothered with the difficult alphabets, you can still learn them fairly quickly by using many Romanized materials available on the market today. There is nothing wrong with being “illiterate” in the language as long as you can speak it and learn to recognize important signs. In many countries now, signs are in English and if you really want to learn how to read, this can be done after you have learned how to speak.

In Japan there are so many books and tapes written in Romanized Japanese that is it is entirely possible to become very fluent in the language without ever being able to read a single word ( except in the transliterated version of it).

You can pretty much follow the program outlined for learning the language except that a few things will not be possible- you will not be able to read children’s books. So, instead, what you can do (and what I did) was to have people read children’s books aloud to you as you listen. You will also not be able to read books with theatrical plays in them. However, again, you can do either one of two things:

1) 1) Buy lots of travel books with Romanized dialogues ( primarily phrase books) and recite those.

2) Get theatrical works and have native speakers read and explain them to you as you listen. You can then repeat after them.

They Call Me Mr. Scholarship

2007-12-09T02:59:00.000-08:00

Do you want to do something good for humanity? Become a scholarship provider for people in poorer countries. I don't mean you need to build a Rockefeller-type foundation with millions in assets. In some places a nursing school can cost as little as $250 per semester. So, for $500 per year or some $42 a month, you will be helping a young person somewhere to get an education and change their life forever.

There are many people in the so called Third World who cannot qualify for any kind of student aid and often, no student aid is available. Either you have money and you get an education, or you don't have it and you stay uneducated. It is really and truly sad.

It does not have to be a four- year college/university or a medical school. It can be a quick, one year course in tourism, a cellphone or computer repair course that is only a few week to a few months long, an internship at a hair salon, or any of the numerous educational opportunities available in such places. You will be surprised at the variety of educational establishments in all these countries and the many avenues the local people can take towards a brighter tomorrow.Most people simply don't have the money to attend those.

If you do not feel you are altruistic enough to selflessly help someone to have a better future, you may consider a tit-for-tat arrangement with an attractive young person of the opposite ( or for those of you who prefer an alternative arrangement, the same-) sex who will, in many cases, agree to become your romantic companion if you send him/her to school. You may have to add an allowance to help defray other costs- projects, books,stationary, transportation and food. In many instances, the whole thing will cost you $150 -$300 a month. Not a bad deal.

Whichever way you decide to do it, helping young people in distant lands is a great cause.You relatively small contributions will be changing lives and destinies of many people who otherwise would have no chance in life. For those of us who believe that after you die, you are asked by your Deity about what you have done for others while on earth, you will be able to proudly give them an account on how you have made other people's dreams come true by giving them an education. I am sure that you will be waved through the Pearly Gates with no delay or difficulty.

English Speaking Women Have Bigger Jaws?

2007-12-09T01:31:00.000-08:00

Women from English-speaking countries often seem to have stronger jaws then women from non English speaking ones because speaking English forces you to use many more muscles in the jaw area than in other areas. Particularly, speakers of American English need to move jaws more than say, German women or Russian women whose languages require less mandibular movements. This may be one of the reasons why many American women are not seen attractive by foreign men- the jaws are too big, almost horse- like. My grandmother would often notice and tell me that there was something horsish about the faces of American and British people.

Dining with the Untouchables

2007-12-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

When I was in my twenties, I always dreamt of being invited to dinner with some powerful people. Wouldn’t it be great to be present at some banquet where you would be introduced to a president of some company who then, would recognize your talent and offer you a great job or some business opportunity? How about meeting a powerful politician and sharing a dinner table with him or her? My friends would think of me as being high class and it would do wonders for my life, wouldn’t it? How about a power lunch with an investor who would finance my business with a million bucks? I would always dream of such things.

Somehow, my life put me in another direction where, through some strange quirks of destiny I would be the one hosting power lunches for the lowest of the low- jaded and over-aged Asian prostitutes, whole gangs of hungry unemployed workers, and, finally, for the members of probably the most wretched people on earth- those of the Indian caste of the Untouchables.

You can see those people anywhere in India- sleeping on the streets, begging in front of temples, or working the most menial jobs such as cleaning the fecal masses in toilets or taking out the garbage. Few people care about them or want to be around them. Most will not even touch them lest they be marred by the contact with these untermenchen. Their villages are notoriously poor with no running water, no toilets and very little food. People from higher casts usually do not bother visiting those.

So, how about something infinitely more satisfying than sitting on the edge of a table with powerful people glaring at you condescendingly and you lapping up every word they say? How about you doing what I did- organizing dinners for the untouchables in Delhi or the Bihar region of India. You see, as far as many of these people are concerned, you are the angel from heaven, the powerful businessman and politician and they will be sitting at your table now lapping up every word you say, but more so, every morsel f food that you have graciously delivered upon them.

While in the Bihar region of India last year, I went through several villages where I was simply appalled by the living conditions in the place and I decided to do something about it. After I had made some friends with the people there, I was approached at my hotel by a “delegation” of children who asked me for help. They did not want anything fancy- just some books for their school: a Hindi-English dictionary, arithmetic text books, and if I could , a soccer ball so that they could hold some matches there. I was happy to oblige and the whole thing cost me a bit over $60 but you should have seen what happened in the village. It was like the event of the year: the kids had all lined up and with gleaming faces received the books as their names were called. They looked as honored as if they were being knighted by Her Majesty the Queen. The person in charge of the school thanked me profusely, and I would be kissed on the cheek every five minutes. After this, everywhere I went I was greeted with a loud and joyful “Namaste!” (Hello) by the members of the village.

On the following day, my translator and I went to buy two sacks of lentils and rice. We proceeded to another village populated by more Untouchables and went from house to house delivering the foods. You should have seen the happy faces of the villagers. And the joy in my heart was immense. The feeling that you had people that needed your help and the fact that you could do something for humanity was much more profound than the supposed joy you feel when being given a promotion or being invited to dinner with the rich and the famous.

The greatest repast of my life was when I collected a group of hungry, old beggars at a local temple and invited them all to dine at a local restaurant. That was a feast to behold. I never felt so good and so honored.

Once I had a layover in Manila, and was sitting on the parapet overlooking the Manila Bay, and as is always the case with foreigners, a crowd of people slowly began gathering around me. Unlike in some other Asian countries, where people will shrink away from a white man, in the Philippines, they will approach you and try to get to know you. Soon, there were some thirteen people around me, a motley crew, vendors, students, unemployed workers. We chatted and then, I invited them all to dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. It was quite expensive and only the local middle class to rich people could afford to dine there. And then we walked it. It was a great feast. The people were obviously very hungry. After we had finished out $50 dinner, the thinks and the blessing I received from them were profound. It was obviously their first visit to such a place. They had a dinner with one of the rich and famous- me.

There were no job offers after the power dinner and no useful contacts made. There were plenty of blessings heaped upon my head by the people. “May you be blessed, may God bless you, may he give you a long life”. It was enough for me.

So, next time, do not think which rich and important person will invite me to his dinner party. Think instead- which unfortunate, poor, abandoned persons whom nobody cares about will I invite to my dinner tonight.

Chinese Extension Cords and Other Faulty Products in the ME

2007-12-07T10:55:00.001-08:00

Quite a few Chinese products in the Middle East are not put through the rigorous quality control as they are in the West. The result is that you get extension cords that do not work or do not male good contact. So, if you buy one and stick your cell phone charger in it, it may not charge. You may then think that something is wrong with the phone, but usually the problem is the adapter. Some people run back to the shops where they had bought their cameras and phones and yell at the staff for selling them a faulty product and the staff gets on the defensive and yells back- “maybe, the problem is the user”.

The same goes for shoes or sneakers. I once bought a pair of very good looking ones at a department store in Oman and went to Sydney on vacation. After just two days of walking, the bottom fell out of one of them while I was strolling around Sydney’s Darling Harbor. I must have been a sorry sight, limping and hobbling along and looking for a store where I could buy some Super Glue. Then, I must have looked even double stupid sitting in plain view and gluing the sole back on. After another day of walking, the bottom fell off again. I again had to look for a store to buy the glue. With the outrageously high prices in Sydney, I spent almost the same amount of money on glue as I did on the sneakers. Be careful when you buy such products in the Middle East. Try and test the adapters and extension cords whenever possible and, in case of footwear, take it to your local shoemaker’s and have him put a strong stitch around the bottom of it to reinforce the soles and prevent them from falling off. In case you have sneakers, that is. If you have leather shoes or boots, ask him to nail the soles down with an extra row of nails.

Dating Advice For Asian American Men

2007-05-27T06:59:00.000-07:00

If you are an Asian American ( or another hyphenated Asian) and you have a great number of dating companions of all ethnicities, the advice below is not for you. If you are not an Asian man in America or any other "Anglo-Saxon" country ( including the UK), again, the informaton below does not apply to you.

If, however, you are an Asian man living in an English-speaking country, primarily the US, and are experiencing difficulties dating and socializing because of negative stereotypes about you, please read on:

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Dating Advice to Asian American Men

It is no secret now that Asian men in America have problems dating. There have been several programs on TV already describing the fact that as an Asian man, you have harder time finding a mate than your Caucasian, African-American or Hispanic counterparts. There have been articles in magazines and newspapers addressing the same problem and describing its causes (and effects). Few such programs or articles, however, offer solutions to such men, and many still find themselves lonely and bitter, although sometimes pitied. However, more often than not, they simply end up lonesome and dateless.

The deal seems to be this: Many Caucasian women in the US do not find Asian American men manly enough to consider them dating material. Many Asian women also prefer Caucasian men, and the ones who prefer Asian men, are apparently not enough to go around.

The US media often portrays Asian men as dorky buffoons, skinny and freaky martial arts experts, mathematics nerds, clumsy immigrants with mangled English of the ‘flied lice’ variety”, noodle shop cooks or laundry managers, and not as being as powerful and confident as White or African American males, or as romantic as Hispanic men. Plus, throughout the history of the US, Asian countries were enemies whose males were to be killed on the battlefield, and whose women were to be taken home to mom as war brides after their men lie dead in the jungle or at the bottom of the sea.

In other cases, Asian countries were often suppliers of poor workers or indigent immigrants of all kinds to provide cheap labors in developed, most often Caucasian countries. Also, in the past, Asian Americans, period, were victims of serious discrimination coming from the government, a practice which has since been abolished but whose residues still haunt Asian men even today as they are not seen as fully American by the US society. None of the above has helped to create an image of a virile and dependable Asian male, a potentially desirable mate for American women to date and marry.

With the great improvements in Civil Rights, and the general feeling of guilt coming from mainstream population groups (whoever they may be) the situation of the Asian minority has improved significantly, for sure. The pejorative word “Oriental” has been stricken down from printed materials and is avoided in daily speech. The proud term “Asian American” has been born. Asian men are in the government and politics, they run successful businesses, they are achievers in the field of science and technology, law and medicine However, as far as American women of all colors seeing an Asian American man as a preferred dating and marriage partner goes, the state of affairs still leaves a lot to be desired. In short, if you are an Asian man in America, citizen or not, native-born or not, fluent in English or not, rich or poor, you will have problems dating ladies there.

Those Asian men, who feel that they are being discriminated against on the US love market, resort to several ways of dealing with the problem:

1) Ignoring it and playing the numbers game. If one goes through enough dating ads, attends enough parties and invites enough women out, there will be a number of women who will want to date, and possibly have a serious relationship with you. The men who go down the path of copious dating and selection will disregard any flak that comes their way in the process, and come out winners in the end. That is a good strategy except that it is not very likely that one could end up with a high quality female partner in the end if one stops his search too early. If one still continues dating, ignores numerous rejections, and sieves through any unreliable partners that appear in the process, one will end up with a prize- a good and honest woman to be one’s companion in life. But boy, it is going to take a really long time, believe me!

It is a rather daunting course of action, and is not suitable for every Asian man, especially not for those who come from a background that emphasizes modesty and non-aggressiveness.

2) Developing a complex and hatred of American men of other races, particularly those of the Caucasian race, and writing articles and posts on the Internet newsgroups and bulletin boards complaining about lack of dates and the prejudice against Asian American men. Interviews with commiserating media and videos on youtube.com also become a vent for the frustrations of such men. The hope is that the US society will change and they will suddenly become accepted and welcomed as romantic companions and more. This approach, while a good therapy for one’s psychological state, is still not very effective in procuring potential dates any time in the near future. In the end, one is either angry and militaristically racist, and supported only by other frustrated Asian men, or one is felt sorry for. In both cases, one still often remains dateless.

3) Bringing a female partner from the Old Country. For some reason, this approach is seen as un-cool by a big number of Asian American men. They see it as a step back, and feel that a woman from the Old Country will become a burden on the already Americanized husband, what with her old-fashioned customs and behavior which will interfere with the further acceptance of the couple and their children into the American society. Only very traditional, mature in age, or religious Asian men seem to opt for that route; not the majority of the Asian male population of the country.

4) Finally, there has recently been a trend among US citizens of Asian extraction to date internationally. One can call this trend Romantic Multi-Nationalization. What happens is that after having discovered the US love market to be of unsatisfactory performance in the area of providing them with dating opportunities, such men have decided to cross oceans and date in other countries. They have finally had the courage to claim a very important truth: It is not their fault that the US society has such stereotypes of them. It is not their fault that Hollywood often portrays them as emasculated persons who are not worthy of being admired by the opposite sex. It is really the fault of the modern (and past) US culture and the media which reflects it. Also, since the Hollywood culture has infused its stereotypes into many other countries making things harder for Asian men all over the English-speaking world, one needs to find a culture in which such stereotypes have not yet spoiled things for Asian men.

The trend of Asian Americans traveling to other nations in search of romantic opportunities is growing as they are now discovering huge areas on Earth where they are seen for what most of them truly are: diligent, intelligent, honest and dependable Americans with excellent work and business ethics, a great deal of talent, gentleman-ness, decency and a sense of responsibility that should make any female proud.

Also, in many countries the stereotypes of Asian men are very positive to begin with. They are seen as smart, sexy, brave, adventurous and as excellent providers, too. They are not viewed as poor immigrants running noodle shops, but as progressive and confident modern Alfa-males. Yes, it is true. Go to such places and see for yourself.

International dating also allows an Asian man to finally meet numerous Caucasian women who look like Hollywood actresses, and who will be happy to be involved with the man romantically and look up to him

If you are an Asian American man, I would urge you to explore this past option. However, you will need to know where to go. The world is a big place and it would make little sense to leave the US and go to, say, England or Australia. Or China for that matter- what with its huge surplus of men. It would not be easy for you to compete with an army of several million bachelors scouting the Chinese countryside in search of brides.

The best places for Asian men are probably the following:

Thailand, Philippines, Vietnam, Cambodia and even Malaysia. Go there will allow such men to discover their true potential as respected and dignified dating and marriage partners. Asian guys coming from the US are highly sought after as husbands and lovers (even more so than Caucasian guys), and, upon arriving in those places, they will enjoy high status and be treated extremely well by the local female population.

In Europe, it seems that the countries whose ethnicities have had a high admixture of Asian “blood” (Tat-C chromosome) through past Asian migrations there, welcome Asian men in ways that the US ( or British, Australian, Canadian and any other society founded by British settlers) never has. Large areas in Eastern Europe, in particular, the Baltic countries of Estonia and Lithuania (currently EU members), have shown to be very accepting and friendly to American Asian males, and is a place where a growing number of such travelers have been able to find incredible opportunities for social life and romance. Many Asian men’s previously almost unattainable dream of finding a “gorgeous blond and blue-eyed girlfriend”, has came true with ease as soon as they started dating in those countries.

Belarus is another country where Asian men, even those who are not American, have been able to feel accepted, and where they have enjoyed good treatment and many new possibilities for abundant “romancing”.

Parts of Russia and other CIS countries (outside of Moscow and St. Petersburg) have also been described as very good for such Asian men although the growing Fascist element in the country is making it more and more dangerous for foreigners by the year. Still, if one knows his way around these places, one will do very well there and be able to avoid trouble in the process.

Parts of Brazil, according to some sources, have proven to be excellent, and some Asian men have been able to mingle freely with the local population and date beautiful women there.

France is another country in which Asian men (those who can speak French- a necessity there) have reported that they have been treated quite well by the local females. They were finally able to date as normal human beings should, and, quite possibly, get married as normal human beings should. Upon arrival in the US, however, they would more often than not again face ostracism from the majority of the US women.

Yes, this ostracism seems to be a sad reality for many an Asian man in the “Anglo Saxon” world, and it is high time for decisive steps be taken to solve that insidious problem. Waiting around until the attitudes and stereotypes of the American society change for the better (which may take decades) does not seem to be an effective technique of solving it. Hence, such love travel appears to be a surgically efficient way of dealing with it.

So, maybe it is time to do some research, save up some money and buy that ticket. You will be able to solve the dateless-ness and gloom that many Asian guys face in America by living in more than one country. Unless you look like the Hunchback of Notredame or are the Elephant Man, the success is virtually guaranteed because quite a few Asian men are already doing the same and are reporting excellent results.

It may not be an easy path to take, but the rewards will be tremendous. You may have to learn new languages, new rules and customs, and whole new ways of life. However, your own life will be rewarding beyond your wildest dreams. The only very important condition that you need to fulfill is to be able to support yourself while on the go, which is becoming more and more possible with the help of the Internet and the general globalization of the business environment. Becoming a computer programmer online, running a money-making website, living off rents, and doing similar things whereby you are able to create a cash flow from anywhere in the world, will liberate you from having to be located in the US all the time and depending on the unfriendly ( to you) US ( or the UK, Australian, etc.) love market.

Life in many countries of the world is now very similar to life in the US. The rest of the world is now becoming developed and very similar to America in terms of the variety of products, services and business opportunities. You may even, one day, wish to open a business in one of those countries. One only need to dare to leave one’s 9-5 job in the US as one’s romantic future does not seem to bode well for one who dates there. Also, it would be better if one started out as young as possible lest one end up a frustrated middle-aged man who has missed his chance.

So, if you are an Asian American man (or a citizen of any other immigrant nation such as Australia, Canada, NZ, or even the UK), and you feel that life and love are passing you by, do not become despondent. Internationalize yourself! You will soon be living a life that you truly deserve to live.

Pidgin Arabic

2007-05-19T04:08:00.000-07:00

In the countries of the Arabian Gulf, there exists a veritable salad bowl of ethnicities, nationalities, cultures and races. The language that unites them is English when it comes to upper classes and the so called Expat Arabic when it comes to working folks.

Expat Arabic has no grammar, no tenses and no verb declensions but it is spoken by millions of people. If you spoke English like that, this is how it would sound:

Yesterday I is go your house. You is no there. I very sad. I say: Where you go? Why you no here. I is call you phone. You no answer. What is problem?

Those Westerners who come to the Gulf buy expensive books to teach them correct Arabic, but the public outside rarely speaks it. Gulf Arab themselves are so used to hearing Expat Arabic that they do not laugh at the non existent grammar, and do not correct it. Rather, they themselves address various non-Arab ethnicities in Expat Arabic. Westerners should try and learn this lingua franca, instead of busting their brains learning the correct variety, however, the problem is, there are no books teaching it. If someone could write a textbook on this subject, one would possibly make a fortune. In the meantime, the best way to study eat would be by learning it on the street while speaking to Afghans, Indians, Bengalis and Pakistanis.

Black Americans in Saudi.

2007-05-19T03:56:00.000-07:00

Many Black Americans who went to work in Saudi Arabia liked the place very much. They said that by and large they were treated very well and felt more accepted there than they were back home. Many have also noticed with surprise that there was no police harassment anymore. They could just go anywhere, any neighborhood, any store, drive nice cars and feel, well…freedom. No one would bother them. Some would remark that as Blacks they felt better treated than white Americans since Saudis would feel more affinity with someone who could pass for a Saudi Muslim ( Black Americans could) than for someone who could not ( most white Americans could not pass for a Saudi) .

Many would be invited to Saudi homes (white Americans usually would not be) and generally, they would fit in quite well. Those who became Muslims felt even better.

It does not mean that there is no racism in Saudi Arabia at all, it just means that in many ways, there is far less racism there than in the West. At least, when it comes to the treatment of Black Americans, that is definitely the case. Islam strictly prohibits racial discrimination, whereas, in Christianity, there does not seem to be any express prohibition of it. This is why in the US; you have Black churches and Korean churches, etc. In Saudi Arabia there would never be a Black mosque. A Mosque is just a Mosque. Any Muslim can go there and pray.

It is also important to note here that whenever there is a terrorist group that wants to kill Americans, a Black American is usually not affected by the threat, unless he is in a group of white colleagues. And there have been cases of Black Americans being charged less for rent than white Americans.

Not only that. Saudi Arabia and many other countries in the Gulf are a home to a large Ethiopian community with thousands of gorgeous young women with faces like Queen of Sheba or Nefertiti all dreaming to land a handsome Black American husband or boyfriend. I have known of US guys in their 60is having 21 year old Ethiopian girlfriends who looked like supermodels with the guys looking like death slightly warmed over.

So, it is beneficial to be Black in Saudi in more ways than one.

Not every Black American had a good experience in Saudi, but, by and large, those who have worked there, liked it, felt very good about themselves, and they way they were treated there. They also got good salaries and high social status. All in all, Black Americans like Saudi Arabia and enjoy being there and if you are a Black American man, you are very likely to have a good time there, too, and maybe, should consider getting a job there in the nearest future.

Bad Smells and Self-dialing Cell phones

2007-05-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

In a lot of countries, it is impolite not to remove one’s shoes when entering a home. However, in my opinion, it is not always a good idea. Now, what happens if people’s foot hygiene is not up to par and their feet exude an unpleasant aroma? Isn’t it better to let them keep their footwear on rather than for you to be sitting there, wrinkling one’s nose and wondering how to let the guest know that his feet smell without hurting his feelings?

Frankly, I don’t know how people deal with that problem.

Talking about bad smells and sweat: if you move to a hot and humid place like Thailand and start working there, and are coming from a cold, dry country, your body will react by perspiring so profusely that there will be rivers of sweat running down your back because in many offices there, there is no air conditioning, plus, even if there is, you will arrive wet from the outside and you will again be emitting a smell different from what a local smells. You will them notice that your co-workers will be avoiding you.

The way to solve it: wear a good tank top/undergarment to absorb the sweat and use plenty of anti-perspirant. Also, you can bring in a change of clothes with you and get dressed in the company bathroom before you go to work. A cumbersome thing to do, but it should work.

The words:” smelly Arabs” most probably does not apply to Gulf Arabs. These not only wash every day, but several times a day because they need to perform their ablutions before prayer. And other Arabs and Muslims do the same. Most do not smell at all except of the very fragrant, oil-based perfumes that they use daily. Also, they do not use toilet paper but rather, a certain sprinkler to remove the impurities left after the evacuation of wastes from the organism. They are circumcised and extremely clean people. They also wear sandals, so their feet do not get sweaty and infected with various bacteria causing odors. Public flatulence is seen as some of the worst social offense one can commit. Women’s genital hygiene is also superb as they remove access pubic hair and thus, their crotches are never fetid. Personally, I do not know where they got the idea that Arabs stank; they do not stink at all. They are most possibly some of the cleanest people on the planet.

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If you do not lock the dial of your cell phone and just put it in a pocket, it can start dialing all by itself; usually numbers that are listed under A and B, and the most recently dialed ones. In some countries ( and even in your home country), you can really disturb some people and even get a warning from the local phone company and even harassment threats.

I inadvertently dialed my boss, then AAA (Arab Automotive Association) and all the people in my phonebook that have Arab names which very often start with an A: Ali, Abdullah, Ahmed, Abdurahman, Asad, Alizadeh, etc. Luckily, they knew me and figured out my phone was acting up. But my boss was not pleased. Be careful with those. Get one of those clam-like phones or set an automatic keyboard lock to some 30 seconds, otherwise, there will be trouble.

The Columbus Mission

2007-05-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

There is probably a joy even greater than that one being an explorer yourself and that is the fact that because of your explorations and subsequent recommendations, there will, in the future, be people following your examples and living the life that you are living. Should I call it the Columbus Mission? Yes, you are discovering new lands and circumstances that other people will be able to take advantage of Even if you are not the first to live a lifestyle of a stateless expatriate in any given place or places, you will still discover new things and new locations, and through your advice to others, will be able to change their lives by recommending that they go to where you have gone and do things that you have done. In international life advice matters a lot. Just a sentence of guidance to another person can change their entire life. It is especially true if you have discovered benefits in some little-known, off-the-beaten-path destinations that are not on the main tourist drag or know some very confidential things about it that are not widely publicized. You can literally be the cause of a happy life of another person who will be able to find a country he loves, a partner or a job he loves all because of you, and that person will never forget you as long as he lives. You may even be the cause in the chain of events that may lead to a birth of many mixed children (hopefully legitimate and well taken care of). However, what is amusing when others follow in your footsteps is that often they do completely different things in the new place than what you would do- they do not go to places that you recommended they go to, they do not stay at the hotels where you stayed at, and generally, they try and make the country fit their habits and requirements; not yours. They also end up finding a partner that you may think of as unworthy of them. I guess one should not stop that from happening because they are them and you are you, only that one needs to take special care to warn them about all the dangers in the new place and what to do and not to do there. Finally, it can happen that they will not like the place at all and may end up cursing you for introducing them to a hell hole. That is why you would need to give them a no holds barred disclaimer before they go there. Otherwise, you will end up having an angry friend at your door step or just nasty emails and calls. Not a pleasant thing. That is why you need to tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Actually, often, emphasizing the dangers and various serious inconveniences there, you will be able to separate the men from the boys. “Raising” another expat can be a truly rewarding experience especially when you realize that they have become experts in that country ( countries) and are now advising others on how to move there and reap its benefits. Just keep undesirable people from going there, will you?

Telling Them To get Stuffed

2007-05-06T04:36:00.000-07:00

When you are an international expat suddenly working back home in your country, it gives you a sardonic kind of pleasure to be able to quit your job if you don’t get along with your boss or a co-worker. Other people you work with are shaking with the fear of losing their jobs but you aren’t. The reason is – you are aware of the worldwide job opportunities while they are only aware of domestic ones. You have often have money from tax-free jobs stashed in the bank but they don’t. They have heavy mortgages, kids in school and spousal ties while the ties that bind may not be as strong.

The same goes if you start dating at home again. You are aware of the international dating market, and have been to countries where you were a hot item, and a partner can be found in some 8 minutes. You may not be such a hot date now back home but no sweat. If you get dumped by another arrogant domestic date who treats you like you are something cheap and not worthy of being appreciated, all you need to do is get on the plane, and back you are in a locale where you are the one doing the choosing and the rejecting.

Ah, what a pleasure it is to tell your boss and your date to get stuffed because after another magic flight, you will be making more money that they are ( after taxes, that is) and dating people that are far more attractive than they could ever be and without the attitude, too.

I once quit my job in California because I could not stand the tyrannical boss there, and then, I sent him a letter from Riyadh notifying him of the fact that now my salary was higher than his.

A friend of mind sent the ex-spouse a letter from a certain tropical country into which a picture was enclosed showing my friend in explicit action with five different partners.

Eat your hearts out, tyrants. The world is our oyster in the ways it could never be with you.

Forex Scams in Thailand

2007-05-04T10:17:00.000-07:00

If you are Thailand-bound, beware of Forex scams there. Most typically, one is approached by other mealy-mouthed expats who promise one extraordinary returns on investment- to the tune of 10% a month. Those expats who look for ways to stay in “paradise’ with their sweet girlfriend, become countless victims of such shady dealings.

They are invited into plush offices with international staff and many computers with blinking screens showing “trading”. Cute girls and young, clean-cut guys lounge in front of the monitors.

The owner is often a Thai Chinese with Indian managers.

When one hands them the money, they simply share it among themselves and that is the end of it.

They will try to convince you to invest because they have some special hedging technique or some special system to protect your investment, etc. Do not listen to them. Do not hand them your money no matter what they say. These are all scams. You will lose your money and then your girlfriend and leave the country broke. Watch out! You have been warned.

PS: Incidentally, there is one more scam. Retirees are urged to buy a bar with dancers in it. It looks like a great deal but more often than not it is a scam. Somehow, the bar fails to turn a profit and the retiree will have to resell it back at a loss. To the same person who had sold it to him in the first place. Happens all the time. Beware!

Perils of Marketing Art from Overseas and Other Observations

2007-04-06T09:36:00.000-07:00

Perils of Marketing Art from Overseas

I guess some of us make dumb mistakes so that others would not have to. While working in the Middle East, I thought of an interesting idea- what if I paint and sell my paintings through galleries in the US? I have bought canvas, paintbrushes, paints, the works. Then I started painting and marketing my art to galleries on the net. I figured: I would send them the art, they would exhibit it and then if they sell the stuff, they will send me the money to my bank account in the US.

After I have accumulated a list of several galleries who were interested, I started sending them artworks. Shipping rolls of paintings to the US was expensive, then I paid for frames and in some cases, I shared the cost for refreshments, etc. I did not sell much. Only one painting, actually. When I asked for my art back, some galleries remained silent and only had their answering machines on. Some asked for money to send art back but when I sent them money, they would not send it back even to my US address. Calling them was expensive and inconclusive. Some galleries asked for an extension but when I emailed them to find out how the sales were going, they would not reply to my emails. Some of such galleries folded and disappeared.

Some very nice artworks were thus lost. You want to try calling and collecting artworks in the US out of Jeddah, Saudi Arabia? Good luck.

Please be careful with such galleries. You can lose your art. Better try selling it directly through eBay but also do remember that it will entail certain shipping costs which will make that art too expensive plus you are not supposed to be working in other fields while you are employed in the Middle East. So, the whole thing is too risky. Be careful. I have lost quite a bit of money this way.

Aging More Obvious:

As you work on long contracts in other countries, you will notice one thing- when you go back home, or return to some old contract where you had not seen people for a long time, you notice how much they have aged. When around people all the time, aging is unnoticeable because it is slow and gradual, and they do not see you get older and you do not see them get older. However, when separated by long stretches of time and meeting them again, the changes brought about by age become very stark and you are in for a bit of a shock as you see the wattles, the new lines, the stopped body, etc. However, in about one hour to one day, the age shock disappears as you get used to their new look and they no longer seem as old.

There is something to be said about the joy of not noticing people get old if one stays in the same place for a long time and sees the same faces all this time.

Big Fish in a Small Pond

A friend of mine, who had always complained that was a “nobody” in the US, went to Lithuania and became a celebrity there. He had actually become so famous that he was featured on the front cover of a local magazine. Just being a US citizen there made him very interesting to the natives since there are very few Americans there. This is an example of how one can become a big fish when one moves from a huge and competitive pond of his own country to a smaller and a more provincial one in another. Some people benefit by moving to the US and some strangely enough, benefit even more, at least socially speaking, by moving to another country. If you feel that you are somewhat unnoticed on your home turf and do not wish to go through the rigors of local competition, maybe you should consider the option of becoming a luminary somewhere on the other side of the globe.

BA’s Who Had Been There First:

There is a nasty peril awaiting those of us with postgraduate degrees who want to work overseas. If we are new and do not choose organizations that expressly require that their people hold MAs or PhDs, we may end up getting a boss or a manager who had been there first, spent many long years there, started as a nobody, kissed many local derrieres, cringed and truckled before authorities in a foreign land and finally made it to the “top” He is now a supervisor-. your supervisor, that is. And boy does he hate you. You have an MA or a PhD and he only has a BA. He will run you through the mill, yell at you and call you names. He will also try and get you fired if he can.

Yup, there is a breed like that. They did not get a marketable degree back home and either had no money or brains to get a more advanced diploma, so they headed for various exotic destinations where they used their white skin and their citizenship to become employees and then, after a long stretch of penal servitude, were able to obtain positions of importance. Then you arrive at the scene. A threat to them. The owner of the company likes you but not your boss.

I have run into situations like that a few times and I would recommend all people who have post graduate degrees to find out what the qualifications are required to work in the place. If they allow BA’s, be careful. You may end up a hated servant of an insecure sycophant who had just completed his climb up the foreign corporate ladder and he will find everything wrong with you to make sure you are neutralized and put down in the most humiliating ways possible. Beware. Choose companies where they do not allow people with lower qualifications except as employees of those with higher degrees. Otherwise, an awkward and extremely unpleasant situation can develop.

Practical Romanticism and "Cross-Placing"

2007-04-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

Practical Romanticism.

Just like there is a ying and yang, right-wingers and left-wingers, plus and minuses, there are also two types of characters or approaches to life: the practical and the romantic. In countries where the practical approach predominates, the streets are clean, the houses are well kept and everything runs smoothly but families are broken and dating and parties are boring. Music and art are empty and lifeless. In countries where the romantic approach is dominant, the family is strong, parties are passionate and joyful, art is full of meaning and substance, but the government and business are notoriously inefficient.

Practical peoples are well organized, forward looking and empiricist in their approach to life but they seem to be robotic and machine like to the romantic peoples. A good example would be Canada where the Quebecois complain about their romantic people’s conflict with the “tete carees” the “square-head” English Canadians.

I guess that in order to have harmony in life we need to have both the practical and the romantic elements balanced. In other words we need to become practical romanticists. Make money, save and I invest, but also a lot a certain share for aesthetic enjoyment. How about taking care of one’s financial affairs in the most responsible fashion and then enjoying unbelievable sunsets over Manila Bay? Just sitting down for one full hour and watching the sun sink into the mirror-like flat waves of that gorgeous body of water. After all, if we don’t take time for such things we are no better than ants or squirrels that are just concerned with how much food they will have to stash away for hard times.

I can name so many people who have spent their lives in the most cool-headed and organized way only to one day end up on their death bed and realize that they have wasted a lot of time without ever enjoying life in any big way. Their sad demise is almost as meaningless as that of a person who never made any provisions for the future and only enjoyed the present again to end up penniless and unhappy in his old age.

Neither the ant’s nor the grasshopper’s approach is correct. One lives a happy life only if one can balance both.

Go to Taste One culture, End up Tasting Another.

There are strange places in the world where you end you tasting a whole different culture than the one you had intended to experience in the first place. Take Auckland, New Zealand for example. I went there hoping to taste some famous New Zealand mutton and see what it would be like to well, live in...New Zealand. I did not plan on ending up in…Korea. With huge numbers of Koreans in the downtown, it was basically like visiting Seoul. I ended up eating Korean food every day, meeting and talking to Korean people and buying things from Korean shops. Nothing wrong with that, but you see, I had paid all this money to visit NZ.

For a very long time I looked for a New Zealand restaurant. There was only one in Auckland which I found after an intensive search that lasted many days. And it was only after about another week, when in Queenstown, I was able to try my first uniquely New Zealand dish- Lamb Wellington.

Hey, what gives! Why should I go to New Zealand and not really experience it? Maybe I should have just gone on to Korea, instead?

When in the United Arab Emirates, as well as many other countries of the Arabian Gulf, you do not really get introduced to the Arab culture because in many big cities there, there are not that many Arabs. Most people are from India and Pakistan. So, basically, you get introduced to the culture of the Indian Subcontinent. Nothing wrong with that except that I kind of thought that in the United Arab Emirates there should be more things Arab, more Arabic language spoken, more Arab foods and songs sang. No luck. Sometimes you see an Arab whisk by in a Land Cruiser at a neck-breaking speed and you have very little opportunity to talk to him. You are, for all intents and purposes living in Karachi or Mumbai.

Students who for years were watching Hollywood movies and dreaming of going to the USA to study to experience America, go to Los Angeles and basically experience…Mexico. They go to the downtown areas where virtually no one speaks English, and they do not see any “ Americans”, at least not the Americans they used to see on TV.

In some South East Asian nations, one becomes exposed to the 1950ies US culture through songs, clothing and most of all, their way of thinking. Hoping to see what it would be like living in an exotic Asian nation, one now witnesses the people’s addiction to money and things, western behavior, western materialism and provincialism, to the point that they themselves are now more money-grubbing and more Western than the Westerners themselves.

Hey, I was hoping to listen to some Eastern thought, but instead I end up seeing people who are chasing the dollar , dreaming of Mercedes Benzes, dancing Hip Hop and basically looking down on their own culture which they now find old-fashioned and backward, and whose lost virtues only the foreigners are now interested in. Why travel half way around the world to find a pre-1960ies America? The ironic thing is that while the West has now been so cloyed with materialism that the spiritual revival is on the way in so many places, the formerly very spiritual nations are now engaged in the feeding frenzy, devouring the fruits of their newly found materialistic civilization.

Yup, you go to one place and you end up experiencing another, you go to places expecting things to be different but they are even more “the same” as they would be back home. Strange indeed.

If The British Empire Had Followed The Soviet Model

2007-03-24T03:47:00.000-07:00

After a long war of attrition with Germany, and subsequent hunger and general ill-being of the country's political and economic situation, Socialists stage riots in England and ask for more democracy. After several skirmishes with the weakened Royal Army, they end up creating a provisional government. An emergency cabinet is set up, with a John Smith in charge. Later, another, a much stronger majority party, the Communists, attack the Buckingham palace, the Provisional Council of Ministers and arrest the Royal family. The King, the Queen and all the princes and princesses are assassinated. John Smith, overthrown by the Communists, flees the country.

The Communists institute the Dictatorship of the Masses and declare martial law. All property is confiscated from the rich, and all the aristocrats are mercilessly shot. Later, a new government is formed with a Peter Brown in charge. All the British colonies around the world who had been reeling under the heavy weight of the Crown feel that now may be a propitious moment for them to finally declare their independence. Rebellions take place all across the Empire. The Communists, in response, gather a huge army and put down the revolutions with the most brutal application of force, killing untold thousands of Indians, Chinese, Trinidadians and Burmese. Ireland is invaded, subdued and its political status remains in limbo until further notice.

Peter Brown, a devout Communist, is also a patriotic Englishman. He realizes that England is soon going to lose all its colonies and the neighboring countries of Wales and Scotland. He proposes the following solution: The British Empire is going to become a huge conglomeration of various free republics, and it will change its name as well. It will no longer be a monarchy, but, instead, it will be ruled by a group of political councils.

Therefore, it will, from now on, be known as The Union of Councilist Democratic Republics. ( UCDR) It will be a permanent gathering of many formerly British countries and colonies with common defense and currency. The countries will be potentially independent republics that will surrender its military, custom, postal , and border concerns to the main country, from now on to be known as a “republic“, too: the English Federative Councilist Democratic Republic (EFCDR). This republic will be “first among equals” in the new country of USDR.

Other founding republics of UCDR will be: The Scottish Councilist Democratic Republic, The Welsh Councilist Democratic Republic, the Irish Councilist Democratic Republic, and the Indian Councilist Democratic Republic. Communist troops from these five founding republics are quickly dispatched to Burma, Hong Kong, Barbados and the British Virgin Islands where people are trying to declare independence, and they pitilessly crush all the attempts of the locals to win freedom for themselves. The Irish Republican Army leaders in Dublin and Belfast are arrested and executed. The organization of the IRA is disbanded with many of its common soldiers sent to exile in Kashmir and Nepal.

The new country begins to solidify and expand. New republics are added as time goes by and all fights for any real sovereignty are brutally put down by the UCDR troops led by England.

By now we have the following new “republics “ joining (very much involuntarily):

The Barbados Councilist Democratic Republic
The Trinidad and Tobago Councilist Democratic Republic
The Cape Councilist Democratic Republic, with the Autonomous Dutch Republic as part thereof.
The Nigerian Councilist Democratic Republic
The Palestinian Councilist Democratic Republic consisting of Arab and Hebrew Autonomous Democratic Republics.
The Burmese Councilist Democratic Republic with Karen and Shan Autonomous Councilist Republics as parts thereof.
The Kuwaiti Arab Councilist Democratic Republic
The Australian Anglo- Celtic Councilist Democratic Republic with Aboriginal Autonomous Republic as part thereof.
The Canadian Anglo-Ukrainian Councilist Democratic Republic with a Quebecois and several Native Indian Autonomous Councilist Democratic Republics as parts thereof.
The New Zealand Anglo-Celtic Councilist Democratic Republic with a Maori Autonomous Councilist Republic.
The Malaya Councilist Democratic Republic with a special Chinese and a special Indian Autonomous Republic as parts thereof.
The Rhodesian Councilist Democratic Republic.
The Kenyan Councilist Democratic Republic.
The Tanzanian Councilist Democratic Republic which includes the Autonomous Councilist Republic of Zanzibar.

Several small islands in the Pacific and the Atlantic, as well as some Black countries in Africa are allowed to become independent; they have little political or economic value. Their independence is highly lauded in the UCDR media, and shown to the rest of the world as a sign that the Great UCDR is, in fact, a freedom-loving State that respects wishes of smaller peoples for free and democratic self-determination.

The English Republic (EFCDR) will ,from now, on consist of several regions, such as East Anglia, Midlands, The Falklands, The Red London region and one Autonomous Councilist Republic of Cornwall. Why autonomous Cornwall? Well, the people there are Celts, so we are going to let them have a semi-independent parliament and allow them to teach all subjects in Cornish in their schools. They will, however, have no right to secede in the Constitution of the Union.

The Indian Councilist Democratic Republic will have the Autonomous Republics of Sri Lanka, Nepal, Pakistan and Bangladesh as its integral components, but not as parts of India Proper.

Under the new Constitution ,all republics, the big ( Constituent ones) and the smaller, Autonomous ones within the big ones, will have the right to run most of their local affairs in local languages and conduct primary and secondary education in them. On the university level and in other post secondary schools, subjects will have to be taught in English.

Only the “big “republics will be able to secede from the Union after a proper referendum is conducted. Autonomous republics will have much harder time if they try to secede. A new citizenship and a multi-national Councilist People are proclaimed. A Palace of Councils is built in Red London. Every “big” republic now has a seat in it. English people, the Scottish and the Welsh predominate ,but there are also plenty of Africans, Indians, Malays, and other token representatives of the new multi-national state each speaking for their respective union republics.

Peter Brown dies , but ,before his death ,he secretly warns the government not to allow any non-English people to become the next Secretary General, however, it is too late. A Ramesh Singh, an Indian who had been able to settle in London in the past because of his party connections takes over. He is a deeply disturbed person. Having been called a “bloody Paki” all his life, and unable to speak English without a heavy Sub-continental accent, he is now determined to prove his power all across the UCDR. Singh conducts indiscriminate purges and establishes a Calc -The Councilist Administration of Labor Camps-a system of penal servitude colonies all across the country.

Most such colonies are in Asia and Australia, and they slowly fill up with hundreds of thousands of disgruntled citizens who work as slaves in penal factories and plants producing weaponry , clothing and machinery for UCDR. Many die of exposure and horrible working conditions ,but, in their place, new prisoners are swiftly brought in on trumped -up charges.

Internal passports are issued. In each passport, the name, address and birth place and date are marked. There is also a “nationality” paragraph which is determined by the government based on the ethnic blood lineage of the person. Nationality and citizenship are now two different concepts. Everybody is a Councilist by citizenship However, they are of different ethnic origins- read: nationalities. White people with names such as John Smith have “English” written in their passports. White people with names such as Sean McCormick have “Scottish” written on the same line. Australians, South Africans and New Zealanders are also mostly classified as English, Irish, Scottish or Welsh based on genealogical research. Afrikaners are called Dutch. They are not trusted and are kept in the Autonomous Dutch Republic in South Africa.

One needs to produce multiple birth and death certificates of one’s ancestors and then, based on those, the government decides who is to be designated as what. The term “British “ceases to exist, and those who say they are British, are automatically given 20 years in the Calc.

The government appoints a Ministry of Nationalities that decides how to classify some 100 plus other ethnic groups of the UCDR. The Jews are designated as Hebrews, and sent to Palestine; various African people are only designated as Nigerians or Kenyans and tribal ties are not considered at all. Kuwaiti- and Palestinian Arabs have the word “Arab” written in the internal passports. Soon, the huge number of nationalities is duly registered, and respective histories of these peoples are published in school books. It is taught how these had been oppressed by their neighbors and their own overlords until the elder brothers, the English, came, saved, and enlightened them. Now, all these nationalities are united under one common multinational government with a seat in the Councilist capital- Red London.

Gypsies, however, are declared a non-indigenous nationality and are not given an autonomous republic, but, instead a tiny Gypsy Autonomous District is established for them in the north of Pakistan because that is where they are originally from ( according to the UCRD anthropologists) . They are strongly encouraged to move there, and those who do not , are often imprisoned. Some are allowed to settle in non-Gypsy areas and work in circuses. Most are harassed by both the police and the local population.

A strict housing registration is implemented. One can visit another city or a republic, but is not allowed to move there without obtaining a police registration and a release from his/her republic or city. For that, one needs a job, and to have a job, one needs a police registration. A catch 22. Only people with good connections, those in the direct employ of the CPCU- Communist Party of the Councilist Union, and the very talented ones, with good jobs can move more or less freely around the “former “British Empire. Arabs and Indians can come to London on official business, but few can move there. All must carry internal passports on them most of the time. People without passports are imprisoned and sent to the Calc. As a result of such strict policies, most people in London are now ethnically English, and most people in India are Indians, except in Delhi and Bombay, where most officials are either English or Scottish. They are living just like they used to during the Raj: with butlers, big mansions, private drivers, etc.

You see, big English party bosses from London and also, many Scottish and even Welsh and Irish nationalities can relatively easily relocate to India and live a good life there, but only a tiny number of the Indian republic’s bosses can get a permit to live in Red London or The Hero City of Glasgow. Many heads of governments in India and the Autonomous Pakistani and Sri Lankan republics are English, but there are only a tiny number of token Indian officials in the English republic.

Also, because of the way the centralized supply lines have been set up , most of the wealth from the East flows back to Red London to make Red London party chiefs even richer while impoverishing the brotherly republics of Asia and Africa.

No one is allowed to travel abroad without a special permission, and an exit visa of which very few are given, out every year except, of course, to trusted government officials and CSS (Committee of State Security) agents. Foreigners are let into the country only after a very careful scrutiny, and they must adhere to a government -approved itinerary. Many visas are denied from the outset. The ones who are “lucky” to get in, are followed everywhere by the CSS. Those who are thought to be spies, are arrested and sent to labor camps.

Collectivization of agriculture starts. Peasants are put on collective farms and individual land is confiscated. Huge fertile areas in Malaya and Burma and their cities are cleared of the locals, and many English, Welsh and Scottish people are brought in to settle, all in the name of “expanding the brotherly union.” As in India, they are given cushy jobs as heads of rural councils and factory directors.

The result is quite a few indignant and recalcitrant locals who are quite unhappy about the situation, but these are promptly declared “enemies of the people” and are either executed, or resettled in the mountains of Pakistan and poorer regions of Kenya where many die from various physical privations and attacks by local tribes. Those who are obedient and faithful to the ideals of UCDR are still allowed to stay in rural areas of their republics, but their internal passports are taken away from them by local rural councils. They cannot leave their villages, and are forced to work as virtual slaves to make English/Scottish/Welsh-dominated UCDR even more glorious, and turn Red London into the City of Gold.

Those Indians and Pakistanis as well as Hong Kong Chinese who come to Red London in hope of settling down find that it is similar to how it would be if they had to travel to another country- they need visas to stay there. But even if they are lucky to get a long term visa in the capital of UCDR, they are still routinely harassed by the London Bobbies and constantly told to go back to their “Wog Republics“.

In the meantime, movies, poetry, paintings, sculptures and song glorifying UCDR life and its democratic system, are produced all over the country. The Palace of the Peoples is built in Red London where delegates ,dressed in various ethnic clothes, perform dances and sing in their native languages, after which, they are hurriedly sent back home because London should be an English city, and these, if they stayed, would violate its demographic homogeneity.

A party of Red Pioneers and the Union of Councilist Youth become training organizations for future Communist bosses from all republics. Medical care is free but of low quality. Higher Education is free, is conducted in English, and most large universities are in London. There is a quota on students who are not “white”, and there is another separate quota on Dutch Afrikaners who are seen as troublemakers and a rebellious non-native group.

Twenty years after the founding of the UCDR, Germany, Japan and Italy attack the country. Nationwide mobilization takes place, and the seat of the government moves from London to the capital of the Brotherly Republic of India, Delhi. Comrade Singh, the Father of the Peoples ,temporarily stops purges and collects a huge multi-ethnic fighting force. All the nationalities of the enormous country unite under one slogan- “For Motherland, for Comrade Singh!“. After four years of fighting and the death of some 20,000,000 Councilists, the enemies are defeated and the purges resume. The soldiers who had allowed themselves to be taken into captivity are whisked away by their own government never be heard from again. Local languages are becoming more and more suppressed in favor of English ,and those who insist on publishing reading materials or songs in them are ridiculed as bourgeois nationalists and enemies of the Union. Secret plans are also drawn to rid The Cape Republic of the Dutch minority.

In the meantime, the United States, Russia and other democratic countries outside of UCDR begin the process of building a nuclear bomb to protect themselves against the possible encroachment by the Communists. UCDR joins the arms race by creating its own nuclear weapon and detonating it in Afrikaans-speaking areas of the Cape Republic effectively eliminating the “African Dutch” from the face of the earth. This further scares foreign countries and they start producing even more atomic and, now, neutron weapons.

Many countries in Asia and Africa, however, having been convinced by very active international UCDR propaganda turn communist and join UCDR‘s political camp. Other countries join the democratic Russia, USA and France. The two political camps exchange hostile rhetoric and military threats. The menace of an all-out nuclear war starts looming closer and closer.

However, Secretary Singh suddenly dies before a serious atomic confrontation with other countries could take place.

The government cabinet , The Councilist Polit. Bureau, is reshuffled and Jim Jones, a Welshman, comes to power. He exposes the crimes of Ramesh Singh, and a temporary thaw takes place both among the Councilist republics and UCDR and other countries. Foreign travel becomes easier, foreign relations- more open. A space program is established , and, in few years, a Councilist Artificial Satellite called “Fellow Traveler” circles the Earth. Other countries, however, see it as the evidence that UCDR can now attack them from outer space. This scares them into developing space programs of their own and even more advanced nuclear weaponry.

UCDR puts a man in space, an Englishman named Bob Stevens. This further escalates the Space and Arms race. For the next 25 years UCDR and its satellite on the one hand, and the capitalist countries of East and West are caught in an uneasy stand-off until Jones dies and a peace loving Michael Fitzpatrick comes to power. He offers peace to the countries on the other side of the political divide, dismantles the Calc penal system, disbands the KSS, and declares a policy of “Voicefulness”. People are now free to voice their opinion, and some take it as a sign that even more decisive action can be taken.

Suddenly, union republics begin declaring independence one by one. First, Ireland, then India, then the Cape Republic, until they all peel off. Eventually, Wales and Scotland go their own separate ways and England itself tells the UCDR government to leave London. Soon, all that is left of the Great Union of Free Councilist Republics is England with its Autonomous Republic of Cornwall. This is not allowed to secede because it was never a “Constituent” republic of the defunct union. Cornwall separatists begin fighting for independence but are quickly put down by Red London’s troops. The world stands silent and only other Celtic nations offer some lip service in its support. Cornish people are declared a nation of bandits and many young Cornwallers disappear into the English prison system never to be heard from again. Some Bretons, Northern Spaniards and other Celtic fighters are arrested and deported back to their countries.

However, all the republics, constituent and autonomous, soon find out that they are way behind the capitalist world in the production of goods and services. No one needs their shabby clothes and low quality cars, and overpriced and very crude raw materials. They quickly learn that they still need each other and, therefore, they form a loose confederation of formerly British-controlled nations. With the word “British” being legal again, they form The British Commonwealth of Nations.

The Union experiment caused untold hardships and astronomical numbers of dead, millions of crippled lives, and an immeasurable degree of human suffering. Even though, allegedly, the Communists’ original intention was to unite diverse peoples of the Empire, they, in the end, ended up recreating the old Imperial structure but with much harsher laws and much more brutal political and social restrictions.

They say: the more things change the more they stay the same. I say, sometimes, the more they change the more they become a worse version of the same.

Unions of Republics? Don’t try those at home!

Natural Rejection, Discrimination, Expatriation, etc

2007-03-17T07:08:00.000-07:00

***Some of us end up in strange through the process of natural rejection and in that process we often discover more opportunities and a better life than those who were able to be accepted back home. We then end up thanking the “rejectors” for doing us the favor of rejecting us.

*** Most people do not know what they want and, often confuse the expectations of society around them with their own wishes. To them, success is not pleasing oneself, but gaining approval of others. Since values of most societies are imperfect and erroneous to begin with, blindly upholding them leads to an unhappy and wasted life. Asking oneself a very private question: “What do I want?” and listening to one’s own shocking answers
( in private, again) will put one on a strange, unconventional, but, eventually, a happy path. Provided, of course, that such desires can be fulfilled legally and without hurting others. If one becomes an international traveler and lives in many different countries, lawful and harmless realization of one’s wishes becomes very much possible.

***Traveling to poor and lawless (but safe) places is a very liberating experience. One can finally experience the joy of sloppiness and living dirty without being criticized for it. I just love not washing or shaving for a day and not wearing clean clothes. I also love rolling in hay or just walking with old boots on slimy puddles of water. How about falling asleep on the grass somewhere covering oneself with some dirty blanket? I enjoy those things and love to do them once in a while.

***There is such a thing as a safe place in a dangerous country or region. If one asks around, one will find it. But it will have one very special characteristic- there will be few tourists in that area and you will get to enjoy it to the fullest- it will be all yours. Negative news paint in a bad light areas that are much larger than the ones where peril truly resides.

When there is a war in Sierra Leone, all of West Africa gets labeled as dangerous. But Gabon is safe, and so is Cameroon and Senegal. However, because there are hostilities in the general area, few foreigners will go there. Pity! For them, that is.

Same with the island of Mindanao in the Philippines. Even Filipinos will tell you not to go there. But if you do, you will see that most of it is safe, and as long as you know where bad areas are and do not go there, you will be OK.

People in such places will be honest and truly hospitable, and unspoiled by tourism and money. Find out where safe places in dangerous regions are and go there. Use common sense though and ask around before you do.

*** Expatriation and emigrating temporarily or for very long periods can be an effective cure against discrimination of all kinds. That is why many Asian women, for one, love living in the West where they have opportunities unheard of at home. So do many oppressed social classes and lower casts of the Third World.

However, few people in the West think of escaping discrimination by going to poorer and less technologically developed countries. Too bad for them! There are many groups in the West who could benefit tremendously by leaving and going to the right place. One can, off the top of one’s head, think of Asian men in the US, Canada, etc. Asian-American men often complain that they are socially discriminated against, are seen as sexless and weak creatures and are portrayed in a caricaturesque way in the media. For many, life in the West is basically without much respect. By adding another country, such as say, Thailand and/or Vietnam, or even Mexico, to their list of places of residence, they will generally solve the problem, often as immediately as landing at the new airport. They will be treated much better, have more friends, dates and will be welcome visitors to many local homes. Their status and, therefore, self esteem will shot up. The “West” will just be a place where practical things- investments, education, loans/credit etc. can be obtained.

Many Black and Hispanic people in the US can also benefit by building a life in two or more countries. US-based Hispanics and Blacks are often very well respected, and treated extremely well in quite a few countries. Much better than in the US, at least.

The only catch is that one needs to go there with a bit of money and/ or very important and needed skills or investment capital. In any event, if one feels he/she is discriminated against, and is not treated well where one is, there is no need to develop a complex and become angry or “tough”; one needs to sit down in front of a world map and carefully consider a place where is sure to be treated better. Ask around, post on the Internet, find out how things are and how other people are doing there. One Black American man emigrated to Guyana- a very racially mixed place. It’s got its problems, but he is no longer living in anger in a big and cold Eastern city ghetto and, is not called by any bad names anymore. He is now known as just “an American” where he lives. He has also gotten himself a local girl and is presently much happier. He has fewer economic opportunities but money just isn’t everything.

Being discriminated against for whatever reason sucks. Accepting discrimination as a status quo and adjusting oneself to it is only good if you cannot live internationally. You can also be a damn hero, organize and march, but remember that changing deeply ingrained attitudes of the public takes decades, if not centuries. Have you got the time? I sure haven’t.

If you can go legally, go as soon as possible. Do what you have to do to get the money or skill- work in Iraq, become a sailor, drill and fish in Alaska. Become a doctor without frontiers. Whatever.

A life is a terrible thing to waste. And a life lived while being rejected and discriminated against because of race, religion, national origin, age, etcetera, is a wasted life. Do not waste yours. If you do proper research, you will be able to find new places where your kind is very much needed and welcome by others.

***There is an Asian proverb that goes something like this:” if a tiny flea attaches itself to the tail of a big and strong horse, it will travel a thousand miles”. If you become an English teacher, you may, in fact, become such a “flea” abroad. English teachers can go where doctors, military big shots and other VIPs go. They can become lecturers at big medicals schools, ride company jeeps into military bases in the Middle East and follow general business and political trends (horses) which will take them on long and profitable journeys around the world.

*** Every country seems to have a musical cord, as it were, a constant and unique vibration that hangs in the air. It is called” the national chord” or more loosely- “the vibe”. It is almost heard, and is also tasted, smelt and felt. Stop for a moment, sit down quietly somewhere and try and listen to it. You will soon be able to hear it (and also smell and taste it). The cord is not visible, though, so do not try to discern it with your visual organs.

***While being accepted into a new society is a joyful thing, I would caution against assimilating too much into the new environment. The more you assimilate the more the locals will start demanding that you behave like them. In countries where intellectual properties are not well valued, one will be expected to act in naïve and “non- smart” ways and keep one mouth shut most of the time. In other countries, where religions are too strict, one will have to adhere to new rules which may seem to be barbaric to you. So, the best thing, again, is following the middle way. Assimilate only as far as it is convenient to you and always maintain some kind of distance from the locals. Also, do not forget to leave the place every once in a while so that the locals have a chance miss you and welcome you back.